Help anxiety bad and feel like I've let dd down not much gifts

(14 Posts)
Baconyum Wed 23-Dec-15 20:37:50

Just away to wrap and it REALLY doesn't look like much at all!

Money is tight and I do my best but I feel like this every year... Except normally I come to do the wrapping and I usually find I've got more than I thought. Not this year sad

Dd is lovely and says she understands but I know her and know she feels sad she doesn't get as much as her friends (crazy amounts spent at Christmas how I don't know as they're in same position as me or even worse off as for more kids - I'd LP on benefits - its an area of high unemployment).

Panicking and almost in tears.

Quodlibet Wed 23-Dec-15 20:41:04

Oh OP. Love isn't measured in the height of a pile of presents. Your DD sounds lovely and you clearly care for her. That is what matters at Christmas - and all year round.

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 23-Dec-15 20:42:02

How old is she?
Young enough you can bulk out her presents with inexpensive 'big' presents?
Or older give her 'experience' vouchers she can use throughout the year? Cinema trip in April etc then you have time to save a bit.
But mainly it will be fine, everyone gets that panic over gifts. Yes some friends may have more some will have less its about being together though.

Fueledwithfairydustandgin Wed 23-Dec-15 20:42:50

How old is she? Maybe we could think of treats that are free or cost can be spread?

Baconyum Wed 23-Dec-15 20:46:25

Thanks for replies. I know its not what matters doesn't stop me worrying.

No more money no possibility of shopping as we're out for her birthday tomorrow. She's 15. I am also taking her shopping in sales which is 'part of her christmas' a thing I started a few years ago, precisely because money is tight this time of year. She's been out with friends today to celebrate her birthday and its family tomorrow.

mysteryfairy Wed 23-Dec-15 22:23:27

I've struggled to buy much for my teen DC just because they don't need a lot. I have wrapped up some very silly and inexpensive things. Huge cans of dry shampoo for the two that are soap dodgers, cans of ridiculous flavour pop, big selection pack etc. £10 in Tesco express if you have time/a tiny bit of money might just bulk up the gifts a bit.

My only DD is nearly 14 and she loves going shopping with me. We are already talking about our post Xmas trip. I actually think if you're doing that that's a really exciting gift. Could you make some home made vouchers e.g. Can be redeemed for the drink of your choice in Starbucks on our trip. I'm not normally much of a one for that sort of thing but if you are short on time to go shopping it could be a solution. (Plus it's only going to be a £3 outlay when you do go out.)

Baconyum Thu 31-Dec-15 00:19:17

Thanks all for support. Dd loved her gifts and assured me they were plenty. Anxiety lower but thinking I'll head to Dr in new year as not good right now.

NotCitrus Thu 31-Dec-15 10:25:07

Good to hear that. Money for the sales was always the best present when I was that age. Hope the doc can help.

figureofspeech Thu 31-Dec-15 17:38:38

You have a lovely dd, be proud that you've brought up such an appreciative child rather than a materialistic spoilt brat.

For next Christmas could you sell old stuff on Ebay/car boot sales/ gum tree etc and save that money specifically for next year.

Baconyum Thu 31-Dec-15 18:17:10

Thank you.

Yes we need a clear out as very small flat and will try and sell as much as possible. She is lovely and very understanding. I am proud of her though not sure how much of it down to me.

Oh2beatsea Sun 03-Jan-16 00:20:13

I am glad all was well. Instead of thinking of ways to buy more presents for next Christmas, I would spend time with your lovely daughter doing things you both enjoy. What about making a Jar of Joy where you both write down funny or memorable things that happen through the year then agree to open the jar around Christmas or New Year. Explain to her that you feel bad that you can't give her excessive amounts of presents but you can give her your time and love. You probably do all this anyway but in years to come she will remember all the fun and great experiences you've had together rather than how big the pile of presents were. You probably are rich but in different ways - that will be far more valuable to her as an adult than any present that you can buy. I hope you are feeling better in yourself. Go easy on yourself, you sound like you are going a grand job of bringing up your daughter. Happy new year to you both.

ArthurChristmas Mon 04-Jan-16 18:28:32

Oh2 the jar of joy sounds like such a wonderful idea that I am going to pinch it, if I may. It will be a very good reminder of all the little things that make us smile the most.

Op it sounds as if you both had a wonderful Christmas. I hope the doctor helps.

Oh2beatsea Mon 04-Jan-16 21:30:43

Go for it Arthur - it's a treat to open on New Years Eve!!!

Pipestheghost Mon 04-Jan-16 21:33:07

I love the jar of joy idea smile

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