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Christmas trip with new baby

(9 Posts)
ThreeBeanRap Wed 16-Dec-15 13:32:40

So I had DS1 12 days ago. He is totally perfect. He is the first grandchild on DH's side and DH's parents have gone nuts about him. They live 2.5 hours away. Before he was born we agreed to go and stay with them for 3 days from 27th-30th when he will be 3.5 weeks old. However we now have to come back on 29th as he has an ultrasound booked for a sacral dimple on his back which I am stressing about.

I am getting really worked up about the whole trip and want to cancel. He HATES being in his car seat and I find his crying really distressing, he seems really uncomfortable and I think the drive will be awful. We're also just getting feeding sorted and nighttime is hard work, I am dreading having to creep around their house trying to keep him quiet, or worse, MIL getting up to 'help' which I can totally see happening. They have planned a big family party and I know people are going to want to take him for cuddles all the time when I just want to keep him with me. On top of all this I am getting a cold which he is bound to get which will make it all more difficult.

I really want to cancel but DH really wants to spend time with his family and is, and his family are so excited about it. We see a lot of my family as they live very close so I feel guilty about standing in the way of DS seeing his dad's side but I want to cry every time I think about it.

Am I being really unfair to think about cancelling? Will he be more comfortable in his car seat in a weeks time? Any suggestions to make it easier much appreciated!!

cathpip Wed 16-Dec-15 13:52:17

I would go and try and enjoy it. As for night times if mil gets up to help, let her, nothing worse than staring at 4 walls in the dark when it's cold and you have an unsettled dc, I know baby advice has changed a lot since she had one but she has had a baby too so does understand, and anyway you can clue her up on all the upto date stuff now.....the family party does not mean you are going to have to let people cuddle him just say no, and your cold does not mean he will catch it. It's 2 days, in the grand scheme of things it's not that long. Congratulations by the way!

Wotshudwehave4T Wed 16-Dec-15 13:56:34

Congratulations on having your baby. fwiw I think try to go. Be honest with them, get it all out there and tell them you are unwell and not sure, today, but will try to go and keep them informed.Just telling them that may relax you a bit and take the pressure off. If you do go, you must not creep about, they've been parents of new borns albeit it a long time ago, babies do tend to take over and you mustn't apologise for that. Remind them that there will be a lot of noise, it probably won't bother them one jot, they will be so excited to see the new arrival. Carry on as you see fit, if you go, trying to get used to your new baby. Make the most of being able to sneak off for a sleep when the baby does. It's so hard when they are new, you just want to be with the baby the whole time. DS will be fine. He may cry in the car seat, but you can sit in the back next to him and hold his hand/touch him to comfort him, it's likely he will fall asleep. You'll get lots of advice and feel you are not being a proper mum, but that's ok, it's just everyone being kind and sharing their experience and because you may not quite know what you are doing yet, it took me ages to feel confident as it was all so new, different and exhausting, you may take it personally. It's natural to be worried about the ultrasound too and perhaps being with relatives may divert your mind during the days before the scan.

blueturtle6 Wed 16-Dec-15 21:56:35

Go and accept any help from MIL re night time, sometimes mums are stressed in the night due to tiredness and an older more experienced granny is a godsend. For journey make sure you plan a break half way to lie down newborn (google oxygen desaturation) and maybe sit in the back seat with them? I did a 4 hour trip at 3 weeks and then again at 6 weeks, slept whole time car was moving, woke whenever we stopped. Good luck and congratulations x

cravingcake Thu 17-Dec-15 06:18:47

Can you borrow a lie flat car seat from someone? They are like a Moses basket but has the car seat harness thing and he could be more comfortable in one of those. It is very stressful time, try not to worry about what hasn't happened yet.

Blu Thu 17-Dec-15 06:26:17

Go on the train?

BooOzMoo Thu 17-Dec-15 06:36:05

Go and let everyone help!!! Try going at night do baby will sleep more!!!

Don't dress about the dimple ... My two have them!!!!

Minibelle Thu 17-Dec-15 10:19:14

I wouldn't go, my babies are 5 months now and I still wouldn't be happy for them to be in the car that long.

Lie flat car seats have been proven to be unsafe so ignore the advice given above.

Can't they come to visit you instead?

ShabbyNat Thu 17-Dec-15 19:55:30

My only advice is to do whats best for you , Baby & Daddy.
Listen to ALL of the advice given by everyone & take on board what you agree with/what makes sense to you!!A lot of advice is crap but in amoung the crap is the really useful stuff-it`s shame you have to sift through the rubbish to get the good stuff!!
It might be good for you to go, get the support from extended family, I know it seems stressful before you go but it may be ok, you may get more rest, maybe not sleep but people helping getting you things & letting you relax on the sofa

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