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HELP! My dad's version of "I can't afford much this year..."

(58 Posts)
lucysmam Sun 29-Nov-15 22:09:44

Differs quite a bit from mine confused

I'm skint so he says "just get me a Thomas Nash shirt from Debenhams and a small piece of Cornishware for your sister".

The shirt is more than 10% of my total Christmas shopping budget & I daren't even look up Cornishware to see what sort of prices it goes for!

I have no idea what to get now. The girls' nana and other grandad are thankfully much more understanding & are generally happy with just a 'something to unwrap with the kids' sort of gift.

PurpleWithRed Sun 29-Nov-15 22:13:05

tell him that's too much and get him a token gift. He's an adult, he can buy his own shirts.

GloriaHotcakes Sun 29-Nov-15 22:14:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucysmam Sun 29-Nov-15 22:20:50

You're right, I need to woman up & tell him. It doesn't help that he's been saying for weeks he's finished shopping & got me and the girls some nice things. <sigh>. I'm only just getting started

lucysmam Sun 29-Nov-15 22:24:39

His other suggestion was a decent ironing board cover. Wonder if I could pick one up for a fiver ish - my own is a poundshop special grin

OneNightTimeMenaceStrikesBack Sun 29-Nov-15 22:26:58

i know you'll feel shitty over it but just be honest with him and say when you said skint, you really meant skint so it's a token sort of gift and nothing more. he may or may not get arsey but that isn't your problem, no one should expect things, expensive, cheap or otherwise from anyone. being thought of is the important thing, not what you get

angryangryyoungwoman Sun 29-Nov-15 22:28:02


angryangryyoungwoman Sun 29-Nov-15 22:28:31

Didiusfalco Sun 29-Nov-15 22:32:23

Oh dear. Are there any shirts on ebay, say maybe last years lines? I reckon you might be able to get seconds of cornishware, or again ebay. I have several denby seconds and the defects are minute. So hard when people have mismatched expectations. Could you spell out your budget a bit more clearly to them ie. 'we have £10 per person for adult presents, what would you like?'

lucysmam Sun 29-Nov-15 22:39:28

I've had a quick scroll through the first page of your link, thanks angry, will look at the rest tomorrow.

Didius, I hadn't thought to look at seconds -I'll look tomorrow morning and see what's to be had.

Bearbehind Sun 29-Nov-15 22:39:36

Thomas Nash shirts on the Debenhams website start at £10.40 and delivery is free if you collect from a store.

If £10 for an adult gift is above your budget then I think you need to be having a conversation with your relatives telling them you're not doing gifts at all.

I don't mean this to sound harsh but there's very little you can by an adult for a tenner that's worth having nowadays unfortunately- it would be better for you all to save what you'd have spent and use the money more wisely.

lucysmam Sun 29-Nov-15 22:42:10

Bear, I had a look earlier & the cheapest I could see for a white shirt (he only ever wears white) was £14.40! I'll have another look on there in the morning as well.

I was hoping to get everything sorted on Tuesday then what's left after buying for the girls is for some treaty snacky bits and bobs.

Bearbehind Sun 29-Nov-15 22:49:39

You're right lucysmam, if you want plain white then it's £14.40 but seriously, if that's too much for your budget, you need to be knocking adult gifts on the head.

Maybe do a secret Santa type thing so you only buy one gift.

atticusclaw2 Sun 29-Nov-15 22:53:21

I agree with the pp. If £14.40 is more than 10 percent of your entire Christmas budget you should not be buying for them at all. They're adults, they'll get over it.

I don't think your Dad is being unreasonable though. £10-£15 would be considered a token gift for a parent in most families.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Sun 29-Nov-15 22:54:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Sun 29-Nov-15 23:00:06

The cornishware website have a promo on at the moment - the home page opens up a window to put your email address in and it then takes £5 off whatever you buy. Just had a look, with that discount and looking in the discontinued line there's a sugar bowl/pot that'll be £15.64 incl delivery. Would that be ok?

Seeyounearertime Sun 29-Nov-15 23:00:33

Get on etsy and find something nice, unique, vintage etc for just a few quid. smile

LizKeen Sun 29-Nov-15 23:01:41

What is your version of "I can't afford much this year" then? A fiver each?

That is fair enough if that is all you can afford, but I agree with PP that this issue isn't your Dad expecting too much at all. The issue is not having any money. I have been there, its shit, but you need to just be honest and say that you can't manage it this year.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Sun 29-Nov-15 23:03:11

Sorry just seen your other post! Agree you might have more luck on ebay x does it HAVE to be cornishware - it's such a simple design - I'm sure I've seen similar in Asda cookery aisle.

Floggingmolly Sun 29-Nov-15 23:16:57

Why is he dictating your sister's present as well?? Stop asking people what they want if your budget is limited. I've never asked anyone in advance, although I do put a fair amount of thought into choosing; they'll take what they bloody well get!
Really don't get this "list" thing.

Wagglebees Mon 30-Nov-15 02:25:46

I differ from pp in that I do think he's asking too much. Not in monetary terms exactly but by suggesting anything at all. My DF would tell me not to get anything, he'd be adamant. If someone told me they couldn't afford much this year I'd say 'don't worry, don't get me anything.' Or if they insisted on buying something I'd suggest a box of chocolates or biscuits as a token gift. Most people I know would do this.

Which doesn't make you feel any better Lucys I know but had to balance it out. Does he definitely know just how skint you are this year?

Just do token gifts like chocolates if you'd like to give something. You just can't do bigger presents this year. flowers Get em told! wink

janaus Mon 30-Nov-15 03:12:29

Start planning next year ... tell them straight out, you want to do something like "Secret Santa" or "Kris Kringle", within budget, so you are not buying for everyone in extended family. Its the spirt of xmas that is important, being together, and sharing happy memories.
Your immediate family is most important, enjoy the time with them, your Dad is a big boy now, he will be able to handle it.

janaus Mon 30-Nov-15 03:13:34

Or some cheaply made, but yummy home made gifts this year. Has more personal meaning.

QueenofallIsee Mon 30-Nov-15 12:17:10

If I was asked for ideas for cheap gift for me, I would be assuming they meant around the £10 mark so your Dad's items seem fair enough. If you can't stretch to that then really you should be saying no adult gifts surely? I personally would sooner someone said that rather me than trying to look delighted at Poundshop smellies...

alltouchedout Mon 30-Nov-15 12:19:17

Isn't it very rude to tell people exactly what to get you? Unless asked for specifics?

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