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Any advice? DD spending Christmas Eve night at her dad's

(16 Posts)
FanjoBean Wed 25-Nov-15 17:44:45

When DD's dad and I split up we agreed that we would take it in turns to have her Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning. I had her last year and I'd kind of been hoping he'd forgotten, so in my head I'd been planning our Christmas, but he's just texted me about it and now I feel totally deflated! Like what's the point of even putting the tree up?

Does anyone have any tips or ideas for how to make sure it's still special for her when she comes home? I know she won't be as excited when she's already had her presents and everything with her dad sad

Raxacoricofallapatorius Wed 25-Nov-15 17:52:52

Not as excited? Oh I wouldn't be so sure. My brother is you this year iyswim. It's tough. I don't deny that at all. However, it can still be magical, just different. My brother is having his alternative Christmas on the 27th this year, the 26th being Christmas Eve Redux. It has to be different in order to garner excitement and make it special but it's no less thrilling. They have a menu devised entirely by the dc. So make your own pizza, sweet n sour chicken and boiled eggs for example. Doesn't matter. Usually takes the form of a carpet picnic. They wear silly costumes, paint their faces, do silly crafts, all sorts. It's not ideal, no, but it's not hopeless.

Savagebeauty Wed 25-Nov-15 17:55:48

You're not being very fair to him. You had her last year...its his turn. And remember last year he was in the same position as you.

Of course there's a point putting up the tree!
I wouldn't overwhelm her as soon as she comes in with gifts. Depends how old she is of course.

Just big up the fact that she gets TWO Christmases, which is what I've always done. They actually get excited that once they open presents somewhere, they still have more to open somewhere else!

FanjoBean Wed 25-Nov-15 18:05:39

Savage I don't begrudge him having her, and I knew he wouldn't have really forgotten. I just got a bit excited thinking about Christmas Eve hampers and sneaking into her room to leave her stocking by her bed... but I won't get to do it this year. Plus, her dad lives with his partner and her daughter, so he gets to "do" Christmas no matter what, but I'll just be at home alone (cue the violins).

I didn't want to overwhelm her with presents (although I do seem to have bought rather lot!) She's almost 3 this year so she's starting to understand a little more, last year she didn't really know what was happening and it took her a few days to open all her presents because she kept getting bored!

Savagebeauty Wed 25-Nov-15 18:12:07

I'm home alone too grin but you will have a fab time with her

Have a lie in Xmas morning, glass of champagne and a nice breakfast. Is she having lunch with you? Maybe do presents in the afternoon.
Enjoy the peace..get Xmas carols on and she'll be back before you know it.
Have you any plans Xmas eve?

FanjoBean Wed 25-Nov-15 18:24:10

Yes she's coming home for lunchtime and I think we're going to my mum's.

No plans Xmas eve but I suppose I ought to try and make some now I know DD definitely won't be home! (There was also the possibility her dad would be working).

queenrollo Wed 25-Nov-15 18:47:56

I've been doing this for 7 years now. DS was 3 the first Christmas we did it.
It was hard...I won't lie. But I made plans to go out/be with friends on the Christmas Eve and leisurely morning pampering myself on Christmas Day.
What we did until recently was have our own Christmas Eve on C.Day pj's, hot chocolate and a film and he would get up to presents on Boxing Day. He believed Santa used special magic to make his presents invisible until that morning.
Now he's older he asked for presents C.Day afternoon instead but that's partly because he has a little brother here now and he said it wasn't fair to make him wait for presents.

FanjoBean Wed 25-Nov-15 18:54:37

I'm thinking about doing something like that, rather than just overloading her with presents on Christmas day. She does get way too many, because there's her Dad and all her relatives on his side, and then there's all my side, and I always spend too much and my grandparents always go a bit overboard, and of course presents for little children are generally bigger and cheaper than what older children want, so we end up with a room full! Plus Christmas Eve night is my favourite part really.

Bellemere Wed 25-Nov-15 18:57:15

I thought I'd hate it but I much, much prefer the excitement of knowing my DC are coming to me in the afternoon than the dread of knowing they've got to go.

Sparklycat Wed 25-Nov-15 19:05:19

I know it's not the same but it might help. When I was younger we took in in turns each year to have Xmas day at home or go up to grandparents. If it was a grandparent Xmas then we wouldn't open our presents until Boxing Day and would still have an Xmas dinner, I loved it as it was like having two Xmas days (presents and dinners on both days). Maybe if you could do treat Boxing Day like Xmas for you and your daughter? Xxx

FanjoBean Wed 25-Nov-15 19:10:18

I think I might do that, let her open presents from any relatives she sees Christmas day and then tell her that Santa comes back for children who aren't at home or something. Although that could get confusing in years to come haha. I keep welling up thinking about it but I suppose she won't know any different, being so young.

T2710 Wed 25-Nov-15 19:13:29

Last year my son (3) spent Christmas Eve and day with his dad. I did Christmas Day on Boxing Day at it worked brilliantly. He did come home Christmas Day night though so I still got to do the Christmas Eve type stuff and told him Santa came twice because he had two houses. So still got to read the night before Christmas and do stockings and presents the next morning with a Christmas lunch etc. We literally just pushed the day back 24 hours. He was just as excited! Xx

Specialsnowflake1 Wed 25-Nov-15 19:16:15

DP & I are in the same boat as you this year. My DD is having her first xmas with her dad since we split two years ago and my DP will not have his DC either. So we have decided to have an adult christmas on christmas day and a family christmas day when we are all together (27th Dec) all the DC will be here and all the grandparents (my DP's and his DP's) with lovely buffet food and presents.

queenrollo Wed 25-Nov-15 19:23:52

My DS has delighted in telling anyone who will listen that he is lucky because he gets two Christmases!

Specialsnowflake1 Wed 25-Nov-15 19:31:09

queenrollo my DD is the same she has only just click that santa will come to mummy's house and he will come to daddy's house too. She is made up with that

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