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present V cost

(19 Posts)
lookatmenow Tue 24-Nov-15 17:45:51

Do you spend the same amount of money on each child or the same amount of presents?

Just wondering as ds wants a PS4 and just totalled his present so far (7) and it comes in approx £480

DD has approx 14 presents and comes in at approx £450

They are dd14 and dd10 do you think they'll be a but miffed at the present difference?

Nearlyadoctor Tue 24-Nov-15 17:57:13

I think they are probably at an age where they realise how much things cost especially the 14 yr old.
But if it makes you feel better I would possibly buy a few very small bits ie: socks, bubble bath etc just add another couple to even it out slightly.

jamtartandcustard Tue 24-Nov-15 18:35:49

I try to do same cost and same number. They get 2 main gifts equal to approx £60 so either one £10 and one £50 gift or two £30 gifts etc. I think they like to have same number of gifts so maybe add a few extra cheapy presents as pp has suggested

kayderjo Tue 24-Nov-15 20:29:37

We spend the same amount of money on each dd, on Christmas morning there's so much to open no ones counting!

INeedACheeseSlicer Tue 24-Nov-15 20:49:38

I do the same number - my children are younger though.

I have often bought second hand stuff, so that complicates spending the same amount, same if you get something half price etc. My children don't really care how much things cost, but they would notice if they had a different number of presents, or if one of them had things that were much bigger, so I try to roughly match size and type as well as number.

I know someone who has three children and spends their child's age x £20 each year, so oldest always gets more than the youngest, but also the amount that gets spent on each of them goes up each year. She says once they leave home she will stop grin. I actually think it is quite a good system, as you can easily get something amazingly good for a 3 year old for £60, but just £60 on a 13 year old you would need to be a bit more creative, and using her system it is all fair and square to spend more on the teen. I think she does it for birthdays as well.

But as I said, it wouldn't work for me so well at the moment. I could still instigate it in the future though.

Ragwort Tue 24-Nov-15 20:59:14

Surely at that age they can understand that certain gifts are much more expensive and therefore the 'volume' of gifts is not equal to the 'cost'.

Makes me glad I have an only child grin.

serin Tue 24-Nov-15 21:38:26

No, I don't think how much you spend versus the number of presents thing matters at all.

Some years one child gets a spectacular present that they really really want and will use to death (piano, harp, kayak, computer etc) and so far the others have been happy for them. It will come their turn at some point.

mamaduckbone Tue 24-Nov-15 21:41:49

I'm sure your 14yo is more than able to understand that a ps4 is a massive present and worth a lot. My ds1 had a PS3 last year and even at 9 realised that he wouldn't be getting much else.

AutumnLeavesArePretty Tue 24-Nov-15 22:47:46

Same cost and number, equal treatment is very important to me even down to nieces and nephews.

Pobspits Tue 24-Nov-15 22:53:16

Do roughly the same cost and roughly the same number but by no means exactly. My kids are 9 and 5.5 and tbh if they expressed any displeasure they'd soon find out what it was like to get no presents. At 14 and 10 they're more than capable of understanding how lucky they are and if that's not the case I would be spending a lot less until they were grateful.

LizzieMacQueen Tue 24-Nov-15 22:55:55

£450 and £480 are in the same ballpark so equal really.

What would you do if you managed to get, say, 15% off one gift? Do you add up the pre-discount price or the one you pay.

lookatmenow Wed 25-Nov-15 12:29:33

That's the thing LIZZIE, I got the PS4 and extra games for £122 (Tesco vouchers boost points ) but I've added DS present at full value otherwise he'll get loads to match up to the value of DD cost

Notso Wed 25-Nov-15 12:41:05

No way do I do equal values. My DC are 15,11,4 and 3. They younger two have a bigger pile that costs less, the older two have smaller piles that cost a lot more.
DC1 for example has a concert ticket that cost £75, the four playmobil sets I bought DC4 cost the same and are in large boxes.

fuzzpig Wed 25-Nov-15 12:41:12

I think the way you've done it is fair, they are old enough to know that if they get an expensive present it means less to open smile

maryann1975 Wed 25-Nov-15 14:07:38

We definitely don't match cost for each child. Dd is getting a tv and a phone this year, she is old enough to have both of these things and I don't mind spending money on stuff like that. Dd2 is still wanting toys, no way will I spend that much money on plastic tat. Her turn will come when she will get a tv and a phone. Over their entire childhood they will all get the same, me and my brother understood that and I want my children to know that too.
I'm not aware my children have ever even counted presents unr the tree tbh, much to excited to find out what they all have, rather than counting up how many packages there are. It might sound smug, it's not meant to be, they are just genuinely happy for each other.
Mil on the other hand, always spends exactly the same on each grandchild. A couple of years ago, for one of the children, whatever she had bought came in at below the allocated amount. She gave the change, including coins to ds, so she had been fair. Dd was most put out to not have any money as her present had been for the allotted amount of money. They just didn't get the cost implications of what they had been given. It felt really awkward tbh.

LibidinousSwine Wed 25-Nov-15 15:30:07

DS is an only sonive never had that issue. In your situation though I would be tempted to stick as you are, perhaps adding a couple of essentials like pyjamas or toiletries to your DS's pile so the piles are not so hugely unequal in number. I would however be reinforcing now that it's actually swings and roundabouts WRT to cost vs no. of gifts so there's no perceived disappointments on the day itself.

PennyPants Wed 25-Nov-15 19:41:11

Same amount of money. They always get the same amount of main presents.

DrasticAction Wed 25-Nov-15 21:52:19

I have no idea how much I have spent on each.

Its interesting that some tot it up and I suppose thats sort of fair.

But dd1 is 6 years older than dd2.

She has already had loads of money spent on her...I could never spend the same on dd2 to catch up.

I just buy what I think each would like, and get each as cheaply as I can.

I am getting tablets for them both this year and have been flitting between tesco for one and amazon for the other, but tesco sold out of one ( using clubcard vouchers) so now getting the other way round.

does it matter to either than to start, one would have got an expensive tablet but for less of my hard cash due to tesco vouchers,and now that has swopped so I am paying more for expensive, but saving on cheaper...

going round in rings.

As long as both get what they actuallly want, and have same looking piles I think its ok.

TBH I would be upset, if either dc approached me or seemed upset because of a £30 difference they had totted up. or anything like that.

DrasticAction Wed 25-Nov-15 21:54:42


I can see why it might have been awkward but at least when they do understand you can categorically assure them,the same was spent on each.

We had issues with grandma favouring one set of cousins and openly giving themmore money.

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