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Impersonal gifts for soon-to-be-XH

(24 Posts)
JennaRoss Tue 24-Nov-15 13:51:02

First Christmas apart, he has no friends or family other than OW to get him anything and DD is upset at the thought of him spending Christmas Day all alone with no gifts, as I (and my family) were the only people who ever got him anything.

To stop her getting upset I said I would buy him some presents. Previously I would have bought carefully thought out gifts etc, but I don't want to go to to lots of effort or expense.

Standard things like chocolate / alcohol / food hampers are out due to food allergies, he doesn't really have any hobbies, he is not into clothes so I am a bit stumped.

Any ideas would be really appreciated please.

NoelHeadbands Tue 24-Nov-15 13:52:59

I would give your DD some money to choose some gifts from her.

gamerchick Tue 24-Nov-15 13:53:53


MommysNotTalkingToday Tue 24-Nov-15 13:54:49

I'd let DD choose.

Goingtobeawesome Tue 24-Nov-15 13:56:02

Since your Dd wants to give it should be stuff from her, even if you pay for most of it.

My children often buy daddy new cups and biscuits for Christmas. i give them a bit extra pocket money but they have to make a contribution. DH takes them shopping to choose things for them to give me.

TwoTwoOneBravo Tue 24-Nov-15 13:56:31

If you have to get him anything at all, what about a scarf or gloves? A novel? Stationery.

plantsitter Tue 24-Nov-15 13:56:15

I would just go to boots and get 3 (for 2!) 'gift sets' of some kind or another. He'll need new kitchen stuff etc if he's setting up home again, won't he?

JassyRadlett Tue 24-Nov-15 13:57:47

A set of fairly plain mugs or other crockery for his new home? Has the nice sideline of 'you'll be needing these as I'm going to be shot of you shortly.'

BornToFolk Tue 24-Nov-15 13:59:32

How old is your DD? Can you get her involved in making/choosing something? ExP left me shortly before his birthday and DS (then 4) and I made him some cookies and I bought a Star Wars sticker book that he and DS could do together.

For Father's Day, I usually take DS to Tesco and stand him in front of the rack of Father's Day tat and let him choose whatever he wants. In a way, it's quite liberating for me as it takes all of the thought out of it! I just hand over the money....I don't care whether ExP likes the gift or not, it's all about DS giving him something.

How about going to somewhere like BHS and looking at the generic Dad stocking fillers? Toiletires, car maintenence stuff and the like?

FishWithABicycle Tue 24-Nov-15 14:10:02

What noel said

Doughnutsandflapjacks33 Tue 24-Nov-15 14:19:31

I ordered my ex a mug and a key ring with the dd's on, it didn't cost much ( around £8 ).

JennaRoss Wed 25-Nov-15 21:16:11

Thank you for your suggestions. DD is planning to buy him a present but she also wants me to get him something as no-one else will bother so I am doing it purely for her benefit.

KatharinaRosalie Wed 25-Nov-15 21:32:32

food hampers are out due to food allergies
I'd be tempted grin

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 25-Nov-15 21:34:32

Socks. Bad novelty socks that your daughter has chosen.


Bubbletree4 Wed 25-Nov-15 21:39:19

I agree a set of mugs or some socks or a cheap tie.

Ijustworemytrenchcoat Wed 25-Nov-15 23:37:06

I agree with a mug, Waterstones have good mugs in at Christmas. I got my dad a useful facts one last year that's very cool, or HMV ado band and TV show mugs. I stuck a bag of chocolate coins and some number one daddy socks last year. Failing that an Amazon voucher.

Similar situation to you - I feel sorry for my ex as his family are awful and he always got much more thoughtful presents from my side and my son isn't old enough to know what Christmas is yet never mind bug gifts.

Ijustworemytrenchcoat Wed 25-Nov-15 23:37:50

That should say HMV do band and TV show mugs.

Akire Wed 25-Nov-15 23:41:53

Pound shop is your friend sell socks household gadgets toiletries home wares. Spend £10 get a big bag to put it in and it will look a lot more.

Could also buy a canvas there get daughter colour or paint on it. It wound cost much but as they say it's the thought that counts!

girlywhirly Thu 26-Nov-15 08:06:34

Something for his car? Have a browse in Halfords. You can get boot caddies to hold stuff like jump leads, screen wipes etc. Also it's surprising how many people still use road map atlases, (so that he can find his way to the far side of f**k) On second thoughts the larger Poundland branches do car accessories.

ClarkL Thu 26-Nov-15 08:20:26

OP you are too nice, I'd be tempted to get something for a giggle, a home testing chlamydiae set, a microwavable roast dinner for one, subscription to possibilities are endless

Sgtmajormummy Thu 26-Nov-15 08:25:51

A pen to sign the divorce papers with? Very PA.
flowers for you for being so level-headed with your DD.

iwantanewcar Thu 26-Nov-15 08:43:50

We always get presents for my ex from my DC. I try to make sure that the presents reflect their joint interests. So my DC are excited about giving the presents. He and I do not exchange even cards. Although last year he had a big birthday and I did buy a card. The gesture was not returned this year.

JennaRoss Thu 26-Nov-15 12:17:29

Arf at some of these suggestions wink they have cheered me up

DrasticAction Thu 26-Nov-15 12:46:53


Dh and I cant really afford to buy each stuff at xmas.
If I have spare cash I have brought things and he me, but we agree we would rather the dc have our ££ and save money to do other things, like meal out, cinema etc.

I don't have anyone to buy for me either, no other family now.

I guess what I am trying to say is, aside from buying gifts this year which is sweet, maybe try and help her understand for next year its quite common for couples not to get any presents themselves. Its OK for a big grown up, not to get a gift, or to get a small gift!

We are oK , we survive! we are big and ugly enough to take it!

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