Yet another Christmas issue

[janethegirl2]

I'm taking many of my family to stay with my DM. However I think it may be a bit too much for her.
It will be her 2 gc with their partners and me and dh.
I will be doing all the cooking and food shopping.
How can I make it easier for eveyone?

[gladysemanuel1]

for the last 20 years, I've had to put up with a divided family. Bother and s-IL rule our family. They say when I can see children and its only when my brother comes to mums - 3 times a year. They live 10 miles away from mum and I. Mum goes to babysit (for free) all the time at their convenience. They last invited me to their house 11 years ago when my father had just died. One of the children's confirmation this year in church they were abusing mum for taking me with her- said I had to leave the church.. Now they have invited themselves to mums and of course she has said yes, with no reference to me. SIL is cloyingly all over me on the day, then won't let the kids see me for another 6 months. I decided enough was enough - take a stand and I wont be at mums for Christmas.

Should I suck it up again or stand for my self respect and not go?