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no one wants to be my secret santa, sob :-(

(26 Posts)
ErnesttheBavarian Sat 21-Nov-15 14:10:50

So we started doing our secret santa at work yesterday. All names in a hat, pick 3 out, choose 1 and put the other 2 back. I was one of the first to pick.

By the end of the day, almost all of the names had been picked, but me not. Which means several of my colleagues have rejected me.

I know I'm being overly sensitive, but I feel sad that loads of people have rejected me sad

I feel like pulling out of it. It's worse than being the last kids left on the bench in pe lessons picking teams. boo hoo.

NickNacks Sat 21-Nov-15 14:13:41

How do you know what names are left? That's cheating surely?

yakari Sat 21-Nov-15 14:17:41

But are you hard to buy for - I've a colleague who is always immaculate, not showy but you can spot the quality a mile off - I'd totally put her name back in the bag!
Equally I've another colleague who is very vocal Eco warrior, politically aware - I'd be terrified to buy her something

You may neither of those but you might still be "tricky". Why the choice I thought secret Santa was a one time pick, and sort of the luck of the draw

ErnesttheBavarian Sat 21-Nov-15 14:17:44

the person organising it has a list of all the names, and when someone is picked they're crossed off the list. You don't see who picked anybody, so not cheating, just who has been picked.

And I haven't been. I'm surprised but it has made me feel proper sad.

ErnesttheBavarian Sat 21-Nov-15 14:20:05

I don't think I'm any harder than anyone else. I am older than a lot (not all) of my colleagues.

But I'm neither immaculate nor eco warrior.

yakari Sat 21-Nov-15 14:24:22

I did pick two examples of particularly challenging colleagues (I work in a fairly niche environment - we have a lot of 'individuals')

But I think you need to rise above it - I'm pretty sure it's coincidence. But seriously next year they need to cut the angst - you pick one and get on with it.

rubymallorywhite Sat 21-Nov-15 14:25:39

That's bizarre!
It shouldn't be about picking & choosing / rejecting anyone !
Take 1 name out of hat - sorted.

Helenluvsrob Sat 21-Nov-15 14:30:31

That's not a secret Santa. That's choose who to want to give to.

I'll be your Santa. PM me you address. It's sort of secret as, apart from loving the archers, you don't really know me!

Btw I am serious I'd love to! No return gifting needed.

kiwidreamer Sat 21-Nov-15 15:22:21

That's crap, ridiculous way to run secret Santa - one go, pick a name and then ARGH over what get or PHEW easy one this year - not a bloody popularity contest!

kiwidreamer Sat 21-Nov-15 15:25:31

In my enthusiasm of disapproval I forgot to say I feel for you but mostly im sure no one has meant to hurt your feelings --unless they are arseholes on a day to day basis and they can bugger off--

ginmakesitallok Sat 21-Nov-15 15:26:25

Terrible way to do it. Agree with Kiwi dreamer, except if you get someone you really don't want you loidly announce "whoops chose myself" and put the name back to choose another. Good thing is if someone has already chosen you they can't say anything....

GoneAndDone Sat 21-Nov-15 15:28:06

That's a strange way to do SS. confused
There should be no choosing involved.

ChristmasZombie Sat 21-Nov-15 16:25:00

Is there a reason it's done like that? Seems very odd.

Toffeelatteplease Sat 21-Nov-15 16:40:08

Have you given any thought to the fact that sods law you just might not have been picked put the hat at all?

ErnesttheBavarian Sat 21-Nov-15 16:55:28

Helenluvsrob. what a kind person you are :-) I don't need a present, not even a ss one. it's supposed to just be a bit of festive fun. Now I feel ridiculously sorry for myself. Toffeelatte, there is absolutely no way at all that I can't have been pulled and returned several times.

I would withdraw but it would look churlish or silly, but I don't think I'll do it next year. Cos now when we exchange the gifts I'll know whoever had to get for me was lumbered and I'll just feel awkward and probably end up apologising for the inconvenience of having me confused

Glad the general consensus is that it's an odd way of doing it. Doesn't make me feel better right now though. santa ho ho ho

backinschool Sat 21-Nov-15 17:04:57

Look at it the other way. We have some colleagues who are lovely and always helping people and I always dread getting them for secret Santa because I struggle to think of something suitably good to get them. Much easier to get one of the young lads who are quite happy with some tat from Hawkins Bizarre and choc bar. The more I like someone the harder I find secret Santa.

backinschool Sat 21-Nov-15 17:05:40

Bazaar even - stupid autocorrect

elephantoverthehill Sat 21-Nov-15 17:09:42

It does seem an 'odd way' of doing a SS. I think you should take charge of it next and declare 'No ifs or buts'. I met up with a colleague after work, she was giving me a lift home, she grabbed her SS name on the way out. She then turned and walked back into her dept office and got another. I was a bit confused she had picked herself. That is the only 'if or but'.

Bimblywibbler Sat 21-Nov-15 17:34:01

That's bizarre. All it's achieving is making sure the last people to pick get lumbered with the hardest to buy for.

I agree with others, being hard to buy for is nothing to do with how liked you are. And are you the boss? People would often rather not buy for the boss.

bigTillyMint Sat 21-Nov-15 18:06:00

That system is just plain wrong. Who thought it up? A fussy young person, I'll betwink

At our place we all pull one out and just do that person. Very wide mix of ages, ethnicities, interests, male and female. If you know the person well, they are really easy to buy for, but it is always possible to think of something nice or funny to get for people.

ErnesttheBavarian Sun 22-Nov-15 21:35:52

Ha ha. No I'm not the boss, and yes, the person organising it is young. Dunno about fussy. Sigh. Oh well, you've made me laugh and cheered me up.

Still not doing it again next year though.

DamsenBerry Sun 22-Nov-15 21:43:56

I wouldn't do a secret Santa again. Last year I was involved in it at my old job, I enjoyed figuring out a gift for the guy I'd pulled out the hat.

It came to the day of exchanging gifts, and somehow nobody had bought a gift for me. It really upset me at the time, as someone must have picked my name out but not bothered to buy for me.

We all sat around opening gifts, whilst I sat there empty handed. Only one or two people mentioned it, but nobody tried to make me feel better. I remember feeling shit about it, especially since I'd spent money on somebody else! Maybe I was a little sensitive to be bothered by it.

BrianButterfield Sun 22-Nov-15 21:47:37

Statistically, though, if there are more than three names left, yours might not yet have been picked at all by anyone.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 22-Nov-15 21:56:11

Why do you think statistics work like that? If your piece of paper is near the bottom of the hat, it won't necessarily have been picked out at all. Even if it has, chances are maybe a couple of times. There's a 2/3 chance it would be rejected each time even by chance. So really, it's just your thinking, not the universe, that's unfair!

Ataraxy Sun 22-Nov-15 22:03:24

That's a really strange way of doing it. It's completely anonymous at my work. The only time you can pick again is if you pulled your own name out. There must have been problems in the past though (I'm new) as the organiser fixed me with a steely stare and said I would have to prove it wasn't my name to pick again!

Goodness knows what the carnage was like that year.

It will be the only present I will get that I haven't bought myself so I'm looking forward to it. If I get bath salts (only have showers) or alcohol (teetotal) I'm calling Secret Santa bingo. grin

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