This post won't be in the typical vein of the xmas board, apologies in advance! I'm going to have a baby very soon. The journey has been needlessly long and needlessly painful, and as today has show, isn't over yet. But one day soon I should be sat peacefully in a room, on my own, with just me and the baby and no one else and no one else's problems (and also at some point with at least one good friend who understands some of what I've been through to get here). I'm a single parent with other challenges not of my own making, so I won't have the resources to actually celebrate this xmas much, but this xmas should be decidedly different to the last 10 or so because I won't be ravaged by the pain of childlessness and fear of the consequences for me of never having children. So in terms of xmas, I'm once again on the positive side of xmas and should be able to start building my life, mine and my daughter's lives, up to the point where we can CELEBRATE xmas!!! Thank you to everyone that helped me to get here (mainly myself!!) and to those that stood in my way.........good bye.