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done to death but how do I know if they believe?

(30 Posts)
Titsalinabumsquash Tue 17-Nov-15 14:22:20

DS1 and 2 are 11 and 9, I think that DS2 is a FC believer but I'm not sure about DS1.

I don't want to out right ask and have him question why I'm asking and I don't know if I should tell him the truth, he's the type that would let slip to his siblings when he's in a bad mood confused
He's still at primary school (yr 6) and I have no clue if he just goes along with it I. Hope
Of getting more pressies or if he genuinely believes?!
Any advice?

MackerelOfFact Tue 17-Nov-15 14:28:34

You don't need to tell them, they'll figure it out themselves. I'm in my 30s with my own DCs and my mum still insists Father Christmas is real!

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Tue 17-Nov-15 14:29:16

You don't need to know. You don't need to ask.

But for the record, I find it implausible that he doesn't know in Year 6. Many many years ago, when I was just 6, I was told by another child. Although I still wanted to believe, once told it was impossible to believe implicitly.

Mind you, the stockings kept coming. When I was in my twenties, I eventually told my mum that I did know she was FC, and we could lose the pillow case at the end of my bed at Christmas Eve. Mum was quite disappointed to find out I'd discovered the truth grin.

BertrandRussell Tue 17-Nov-15 14:32:21

Why do you need to know? What difference would it make?I'm pretty sure my 14 and 19 year olds don't believe but they still hang up their stockings.

SleepIsForTheWeakAnyway Tue 17-Nov-15 14:37:21

I'm 33 and dm Father Christmas still fills my stocking!

I still insist to my DC (13, 11 &9) that FC is real, even when dc1 was helping me to fill the younger kids stockings last year and to dc2 when he caught me putting a filled stocking into his room. DC3 still improves his behaviour when threatened with 'the call' though

tanya1312 Tue 17-Nov-15 14:50:18

I had a feeling last year my dd didn't believe any longer but she didn't say it out right, this year she has admitted it and she is 12, wait for them to tell you keep the magic going xx

GeekyQueen Tue 17-Nov-15 14:59:25

I'm 31 and my DB is 29, both with DS of our own, but FC still brings us stockings. I'm not sure I've ever told my mum I know the truth!

Cocacolaandchocolate Tue 17-Nov-15 15:10:44

My dc is 11 in year 6. I'm not sure if he still believes... He certainly is playing along if he doesn't. I will continue to play along too!! Ho ho ho

nooka Tue 17-Nov-15 15:32:00

I've never done Father Christmas, either as a child or an adult, so I don't get the issue really. Christmas doesn't need a belief in Santa to be great (but obviously for many it's a lovely tradition), so growing out of that belief shouldn't be too big a deal.

Most children probably gradually realise that it's really your parents bringing the Santa gifts without any great angst or moment of revelation and transition fairly smoothly from belief to playing along with mum and dad/younger siblings for fun. I would expect that both the OP's children know it's a bit of make believe really. After all the Father Christmas myth is obviously impossible and life is full of clues to that effect.

Unless you are laying it on very heavily then you should be able to carry on with your family traditions regardless, I think that most children like traditions for their own sake. Oh and you don't need FC for stockings - we have them, our children do stockings for the grown ups and dh and I do them for the children. It's fun smile

Titsalinabumsquash Tue 17-Nov-15 15:51:47

You're all right, I don't need to know. I'll keep up the magic for whoever wants to join in. Maybe he'll reveal if he does or not by himself some time. Thanks.

myotherusernameisbetter Tue 17-Nov-15 16:24:57

I knew mine didn't believe at about age 11/12. When I asked them to write their lists to Santa, DS2 just raised a sarcastic eyebrow - i think they either believed or wanted to believe and not have me confirm otherwise up until then. I still joke along with them about Santa and they still get stockings but i don't get so paranoid about hiding packages arriving and whether they see me buying wrapping paper - we are all happy smile

Peachypeaches Tue 17-Nov-15 20:09:20

I asked my ds just before he started secondary school if he wanted to have a chat about Santa. I was convinced he still believed and didn't want him to get teased at his new school. He looked really relieved and said he'd known since the previous Christmas, but didn't know how to tell me. Having said that though, we made a decision that as a household we would still "believe". Stockings still get filled in the night, we still put out a drink and snack for Santa, we still look at the Santa tracker on Christmas Eve. DS (now 14) said it's these little things that make Christmas special for him smile

Coco7841 Tue 17-Nov-15 20:16:13

Mine still believe ages 3 and 6. We signed up for the premium service on portable North Pole tonight. They got phone calls and videos from Santa, they genuinely believed bless them!

Trills Tue 17-Nov-15 20:17:30

Do a couple of winks so that they know that it's OK for them to tell you that they know it's a game.

But otherwise just all enjoy playing.

It's a fun game.

FWIW, I can't remember EVER thinking it was real-real.

TurnOffTheTv Tue 17-Nov-15 20:20:30

My delightful mother told my 10yo DD a few weeks ago, without consulting me, because she thought it was 'time' I know she probably knew, but I had it all planned.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Tue 17-Nov-15 20:22:34

Coco I'd be surprised if a 3 and 6 year old didn't believe!

Moreisnnogedag Tue 17-Nov-15 20:25:59

I still get presents from Father Christmas who amazingly has the same terrible handwriting as my mom and I'm 33 smile

UnlikelyPilgramage Tue 17-Nov-15 20:26:26

11 is pretty old. 9 at the upper end of it. I'm like nooka have have never done Father Christmas with DD(4.)

MistyMeena Tue 17-Nov-15 20:54:45

My DS is also 11 and still believes (or does a good impression of it). I always think it's easier for them to believe these days, they have 'evidence' that we didn't have with the NORAD thing, PNP videos, letters and a million other things!

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall Wed 18-Nov-15 00:00:48

I work in year 5 and am surprised so many people say their 10+ year olds still believe, I just can't believe they wouldn't question the ridiculousness of the whole story. I would expect by about 7 or 8 it should be pretty obvious it just can't be true.

My son at 5 decided FC couldn't really bring the presents because he wouldn't be able to get to everybody in the world in one night, never mind that he supposedly does it on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer!

myotherusernameisbetter Wed 18-Nov-15 00:23:31

But all pizzas, it's magic though isn't it?

I have two pretty clever teenagers and I do think that despite any doubts they may have had, they believed past the average age. But I think that is down to them hoping it was true so therefore ignoring evidence to the contrary.

And to be honest if grown adult apparently intelligent people can believe in god then I think a pre teen believing in Santa is much more understandable.

randomcatname Wed 18-Nov-15 00:32:03

Don't ask! Just go with it. They'll let you know ;)

CakeMountain Wed 18-Nov-15 00:33:32

AllPizza Yes, but we expect them to believe that Daddy puts his thing into Mummy and wiggles it about and then, sometime later, a real baby comes out! I mean how believable is that! Santa sounds perfectly plausible in comparison!

I think my daughter may have guessed last year.

randomcatname Wed 18-Nov-15 00:35:04

TurnofftheTV I would be absolutely furious with your MIL! In fact, I AM furious with her! How bloody dare she??? omg what adult does that?

I got pissed off with my friend when my wiley 10 year old tricked him into saying Santa's not real. My poor friend was so so upset and has since seen the error of their ways.

BELIEVE and it will be. sparkles fairy dust all around

fwink

NinjaLeprechaun Wed 18-Nov-15 03:23:35

TurnOffTheTv My mother-in-law did something similar when my daughter was 8. Luckily, (on that occasion, anyway,) Grandma was known for getting confused about what was real and what wasn't, (Adults please read this as "making things up in order to get attention".) so it was easy for me to tell Daughter the absolute truth when she asked me about it - that I didn't know why Grandma said that, but I thought it was a mean thing to do.

On the other hand, everybody in my family insists they believe, and acts horribly offended at the suggestion Santa isn't real, even though nobody in the family actually does. (Daughter is now 19, so let us know that she was clued in some years ago.)

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