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Another Christmas dilema

(22 Posts)
ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 19:10:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrscog Thu 05-Nov-15 19:11:53

Um. Your DH doesn't sound very nice. What are your family like? Is there a genuine reason why he shouldn't like them?

If they can't come to you and he won't go to them I think your solution of going to see them without him sounds like the best plan.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Thu 05-Nov-15 19:13:13

Why are you with him?

Husbanddoestheironing Thu 05-Nov-15 19:13:16

I would just take the kids and go. It will probably be more fun without him if he's that unpleasant to them.

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 19:13:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gazelda Thu 05-Nov-15 19:14:01

I wouldn't think twice about going to your family with the kids. I bet you'll have a far more relaxed Christmas there than at home with him.

Buttons23 Thu 05-Nov-15 19:14:36

I would be going with the children. Not a chance would I let a man stop me from seeing my family. I love my family too much.

Why doesn't he like them?
Is he controlling over other things?

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 19:14:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LetGoOrBeDragged Thu 05-Nov-15 19:17:17

Separating you from family is one of the first things an abusive partner does. If you are isolated, you are stuck with him.
Why havent you left this man already?

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 19:19:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrscog Thu 05-Nov-15 19:20:33

Do you think he'd get custody? Unless he's a stay at home Dad I think it's quite hard for Dad's to win.

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 19:22:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SideOrderofChips Thu 05-Nov-15 19:37:42

Hes a dick

Go without him

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 19:40:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Larrytheleprechaun Thu 05-Nov-15 20:15:01

Excuse the language, this being a jolly, happy place etc. At this point in time I would tell him to fuck himself and make plans with your family (seeing as he seems to be unable to Behave normally in a family)

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 20:49:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CFSsucks Thu 05-Nov-15 21:43:22

He won't get custody unless there is a very very good reason. A dad getting custody over a mum is very unusual.

He sounds like a massive bellend. I agree with pp, he wants to isolate you from them and this is the first step to an abusive relationship.

Take your children, and don't bother going back!

ohnoppp Thu 05-Nov-15 21:59:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ADishBestEatenCold Fri 06-Nov-15 00:12:13

Glad to see that you agree with posters, that you should take your DCs and go to your family, without your husband, OP.

Also wondering how easy this is going to be for you to do, as it sounds as if this has being going on for years ( "He sees them every two years at Christmas" ), and as if he is very controlling.

Maybe you should move this thread to Relationships, just to ensure there are plenty of posters about to give you support, should you need it while making your plans, in the run up to Christmas.

Just an idea.

I hope all goes well.

Mrscog Fri 06-Nov-15 14:19:35

I agree about reposting on relationships, would your family be supportive if you left him?

Good luck OP, be strong and flowers

momb Fri 06-Nov-15 14:28:23

What happened two years ago? Did you go to them or did they come to you?..or the twice you've seen them this year: did you go to them both times?
Your husband may be right about whose turn it is travel. However he still needs to be pleasant to your family and stop being a (controlling) Grinch.

Sparkletastic Fri 06-Nov-15 14:34:58

Would the DCs like Christmas with your family? Scary as it seems spending Christmas away from H would be very effective way of drawing a line on his behaviour. Think how much happier next Christmas would be without him...

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