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Duplicate Gifts

(14 Posts)
Tw1nkle Tue 23-Dec-14 10:04:22

Merry Christmas!
My relatives normally ask me what they can get for my DD.
Except my In-Laws never do - they arrive with two large sack fulls, and I have no clue each year what they are buying.
I'm grateful for the presents for my DD, plus it means that I always get her less, as I know they'll make up for it!
The issue I have is with duplicate gifts - there are always a few!
Do I:
a - say nothing (and hope my dd says nothing!
b - Tell them to keep it at their house
c - Tell them to take it back for a refund
d - keep it in my 'spare' pile for birthday parties etc!

I have mentioned this issue to them before, but have been told it's their prerogative as grandparents to buy what they like, so I'm not going to be able to stop the surprise present situation.

Any advice appreciated!

glentherednosedbattleostrich Tue 23-Dec-14 10:11:24

Spare pile.

ShadowKat Tue 23-Dec-14 10:14:01

Either keep the duplicate at their house so your DD can play with it there, or 'spare' pile.

simbacatlivesagain Tue 23-Dec-14 11:44:05

We used to give all of our duplicate gifts to the Salvation Army. Collected them across the year and then went with the children to donate them in November. The reason that we did this was that friends bought duplicate gifts from their children and I didnt like that. 'I am sorry that granny has given you a duplo set when you are age 111 but here have £20 instead' or " sorry that you now have 15 furbys- let me buy them from you"

I think it is helpful to discover that not all gifts are great but it is how you manage it. So thank them profusely. Never open a gift if you already have it. Give it to someone less fortunate.

We might have returned them if there was a receipt.

How old is your DD? Ds1 just had his 7th birthday party, themed around dragons, and I had already got him most of the available dragons over the last few years, so there was almost bound to be a duplicate - so I primed him that if he did get one, he was just to smile and say thank you, which he dutifully did. Can you not do the same for your DD or is she too young?

SootInMySack Tue 23-Dec-14 12:05:09

Agree with donating them to those less fortunate smile

DaisyFlowerChain Tue 23-Dec-14 12:31:26

We donate any duplicates to the school fair and I replace the present for DS.

MsAspreyDiamonds Tue 23-Dec-14 12:55:35

Donate it a charity gift appeal to less fortunate children.

Waggamamma Tue 23-Dec-14 15:38:49

Take them back for an exchange (no need for reciept if only exchanging) and let her pick something she doesn't have.

lecherslady Tue 23-Dec-14 17:42:23

I always follow the lead of other people.

Do the people who give you the gift ever ask for a receipt themselves if your present is not suitable? Have you provided the receipt quite happily and they changed the gift? If so, once I have been asked to change a present I have bought for them I have no qualms in asking to change a present in return (otherwise it is bloody hypocritical of them to get upset for something they do themselves!).

However, if the person has never asked for a receipt or to change an item, then I wouldn't ask either and would try to quietly change the gift for something more suitable or would just give it to the charity shop. Sometimes with my children's toys, I buy them off my children, and then give them to other children. For example, I have currently got three make your own nail polishes in my garage, none of which have been used. So if my children get given these, I would buy them off my children and use them when my children go to a party.

I do the same with lists too. If asked for ideas, then I'll ask the other person, if not then I won't either.

So yes, I would happily ask for a receipt, but I have never done so until the other person has already changed an item that I've bought them. I figure if they won't keep my inappropriate presents, they can't expect me to keep theirs smile. If however, they always politely accept, I do likewise.

mrsfarquhar Tue 23-Dec-14 17:51:37

Charity. Keep a box ready to donate to an appeal for Christmas next year. There's lots of charities trying to make sure children have a few little gifts at Christmas. Involve the kids in it as you're bound to have a similar situation with birthday party gifts etc, or you'll receive gifts that the children aren't particularly interested in. Mine feel very grown up when they decide they don't really have use for something and put it in the box. It helps them feel good about themselves.

Greencurtain Tue 23-Dec-14 17:52:45

Easy - spare pile for birthday presents. Everyone's a winner!

marne2 Tue 23-Dec-14 18:01:02

I have taught my kids to lie and not say 'I already have this', depending on the gift we either keep it as a spare ( as dd2 tends to break things or draw on them ), we re-gift as birthday presents for dd's friends or we sell on eBay and use the money to buy them something else. I'm not brave enough to tell a relative that they already have one and can they return it.

Cooki3Monst3r Tue 23-Dec-14 19:23:46

They sound awful! I hate it when people use gift giving and some kind of control thing - giving gifts is supposed to be nice for the recipient! In my books that means putting some effort in to making sure it's suitable/wanted.

I wouldn't worry about DCs letting it out of the bag if they already have something - that's the risk your ILs run when they don't ask for suggestions!! Perhaps they'll take the hint next time wishful thinking.

If they're not the sort you can ask for a receipt, then I would either take it back to the shop (if obvious where if came from) for an exchange and just not say anything. Unless specifically asked, I wouldn't out and out lie.

If you can't do that, and it's not something you want a duplicate of, then I'd probably keep it to regift to someone else and buy something as a replacement.

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