There seems to be such a range of importance placed on giving presents, some people not being remotely fussed (or hating the whole thing) and others putting a lot of meaning on them, some people who spend months planning them and others who put no thought in, and everything in between. I've seen references on here to gifts being one of the 7(?) ways of showing love.
For me, it's pretty important. It wouldn't be my main way of showing love (am very physically affectionate etc) but I absolutely love choosing presents and go a bit overboard at Xmas. It makes me really happy and I look forward to seeing my DCs'/DSCs'/DH's faces when I've got it just right. It's not about getting the glory or thanks, just about knowing I've made them happy and that they'll get lots of pleasure out of something. Especially when I've found something (which could be really small/cheap, we don't have a lot of money) that they never would've thought to ask for or didn't know existed. OTOH I get a bit panicky if it's a friend who is difficult to buy for because I totally overthink it, so there's a definite disadvantage to my feelings!
I hated Xmas/my birthday as a child and some of that was down to presents. My mum never bothered really. Occasionally she would hand over a scarf or something (unwrapped obviously) with the words "if you don't like it, I'll keep it". Or she'd say "you get things during the year so there's no presents". It sounds materialistic I guess but I did find it hurtful knowing that it wasn't the way my friends experienced it (it wasn't due to money difficulties). It really wasn't about not having the latest stuff - I just felt like my mum didn't think of me at all.
DH has always spoiled me a bit at Xmas as it made him sad when I told him all that. Again, not huge things, but he puts so much thought into them. Last year he searched high and low for a particular virtually unknown song - emailing people all over the world etc.
My dad is different from my mum. I was never bothered by the fact he didn't give presents - actually to this day I don't think he's ever given me a birthday or Xmas present! But every now and again, he would give me a little something for no reason whatsoever, and it would be absolutely perfect. Like the cat encyclopedia he picked up in a discount bookshop that I read constantly for years until it fell apart, or more recently the CD of my favourite music that he bought me after the birth of DS - I'd told him it was playing on the radio when DS was being born. These little things would remind me that despite the fact we don't speak much (we have a 'comfortable silence' type relationship!) he really knows me.
So to me I guess presents really do show love, or represent lack of it, and that's why they've become elevated in importance to me. Sometimes I worry I go OTT because of it!
Apologies for the waffle, I just find it interesting (and therapeutic to talk about) :)
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Are presents important to you? Why/why not?
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NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding · 20/12/2014 07:50
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