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feeling sick and worried - christmas!!

(17 Posts)
notsorosyalways Fri 19-Dec-14 20:48:08

oh no - am single mum of 3, generally cope well tho health a bit fragile, just got over awful cold days ago and today am sure am coming down with something; still loads left to do for CHRISTMAS, feeling perfectionist, ill, worried, why oh why do i always always feel ill before christmas?!?
looks like i'll have to struggle thru last bits of preparation feeling awful
why oh why is it sometimes so hard??
anyone else feeling similar? any words of wisdom anyone has to spare??

ZeViteVitchofCwismas Fri 19-Dec-14 20:52:57

how old are DC

do you have their presents, are they wrapped?

is there a tree or at least decorations up?

Do you have any food in ...or a shop booked?

ohtheholidays Fri 19-Dec-14 20:57:41

Oh no,I've been there before I was a single Mum to 4DC and coping with ulcerative colitis.It always made me get all the bugs going around this time of year.I think when you have LO's at school unless you have the best immune system ever you pick something up they bring home.

Have you got anything you can take?There's tonics you can buy from the chemist,my mum used to swear by them.This time of year I always have beechams cold and flu tablets in the house now.If you have a 99p shop or poundshop near you they stock them compared to some of the supermarkets at nearly £5 a packet.

Have you got anyone that can help out with the bits you have left to do?

I used to get sorted what was the most important things for us at Christmas anything else got done if I had time if not it wasn't that important.fsmile

notsorosyalways Fri 19-Dec-14 21:49:42

ooh lovely to get replies!

well it's just occurred to me that as I could get my older 2, who are 15 and 11, to do the tree as long as i just help them up to the attic. i get a bit stressed by the tree anyway - i am never stressy during the rest of the year i don't know what it is about christmas!!

and yep, if i get some cold and flu tablets/painkillers then at least i know i can get thru the main days pain free.

am feeling a bit guilty as was volunteering to help at a xmas party at my local family centre tomorrow and don't think i will be up to it - have missed 3 times in 2 months due to mine and LO's illness! so hard wen u constantly have to take time off, it tends to make me feel guilty and a failure! am the kind of person who wants to be there for everybody and the truth is sometimes as a single parent i struggle to be there for myself.

and yes, i could do an online shop. very good idea! Duh, why didn't i think of this?

how do you all cope with lowering ur expectations at xmas - i know i should go a bit easier on myself but it is hard to let go of how you think things should be!

and yes, thank god, got children's presents and my dad will be here so should def get some time to wrap them.

any further ideas most most welcome!

love to all, slightly less worried and grumpry single mum xx

amicissimma Fri 19-Dec-14 22:01:25

Isn't the theme of Christmas generally love? So, even if it's based around a sick mum who's mostly in bed, the idea of being a loving family can be generated.

We were hard up when I was young and what I remember about Christmas was the family being there and all caring about each other - offering each other the last chocolate, that sort of thing, trying to make it a nice day for each other. Apart from a tangerine and a sugar mouse I can't remember anything else I was given. Nor the meals, special or disastrous.

If you don't mind church, you might find a Carols by Candlelight service nearby this Sunday, which can be a moving experience and bring out the religious or, if you're not religious, the philosophical, thoughtful side of Christmas. Apart from getting there it wouldn't require too much input from you.

notsorosyalways Fri 19-Dec-14 22:20:46

actually amicissima i agree, it should all be about showing and sharing love. so i will try to concentrate on that even if i can't give everything i want to.

isn't it funny how we get lost in trying to be 'perfect' or on a low day just 'adequate' but when i'm stressed i forget that just being a loving family is enough.

anyone any ideas for an easy but slightly special lunch for friends on boxing day if i'm well enough? anyone come across any christmassy casserole recipes - do have a slow cooker?

i have already got everyone i hope really nice presents.

biggest worries left are - no food - will try online shop and quick shop at a market garden; and tidying spare room for my dad.

thankyou for thoughts everyone. what would we do without other mums to help us get perspective. any more droplets of perspective and wisdom much appreciated!

ohtheholidays Fri 19-Dec-14 22:23:14

I was the same.Always felt guilty over everything,usually things that were something no one else would even worry about.

I've always been the same there for everyone.Don't worry if you can't make it there tomorrow you can't make it.No one can help getting ill,it happens to just about everyone at sometime.

Lowering expectations I managed to do that when I realized putting so much pressure on myself was stressing me out,therefore lowering my immune system and making me ill more often.

Like a pp said Christmas is about Love and compassion.Spending time with your children,not having to charge around doing a million and one things at once,snuggling up on the sofa together watching some lovely Christmas films eating some treats.Those are the memories my 5DC all remember far longer than they do any of the gifts they've been bought.

Reekypear Fri 19-Dec-14 22:30:30

It's just one day, stop bring a slave to it.

MsAspreyDiamonds Sat 20-Dec-14 05:41:15

There is a good article on BBC online about how looking after your mental health is key to having a good festive season.

m.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-30433361

Keep it simple and if you are having
guests don't be afraid to ask them to bring a meal contribution or for help ..

Chottie Sat 20-Dec-14 05:57:27

Hello OP and I hope you are feeling better today. flowers

What has helped me is deciding not to have a perfect Christmas. I just have a relaxed one. Get your DCs involved and take short cuts that suit you to make the day run smoothly.

I would second ask your friends to bring a dish with them on Boxing Day too - maybe a dessert? On Boxing Day, I would personally serve cold cuts with salads and jacket potatoes with Christmas chutney. If you want to serve something else warm, how about making a flan? Set the table with crackers and put some Christmas music on.

PunkrockerGirl Sat 20-Dec-14 06:12:57

The main thing is that you have your lovely children and dad around you at Christmas. I suppose we're all seduced by the perfect Christmas scenarios that we see on the telly I know I certainly am but as people have said, keeping it simple and asking for help is not a sign of failure!
You may find there aren't any on line delivery slots left before Christmas. If not, could your 15 year old babysit so that you could do your food shop either very early morning or late evening to avoid the crowds?
Wishing you a very merry Christmas fsmile

notsorosyalways Sat 20-Dec-14 08:04:42

AN IMPERFECTLY PERFECT CHRISTMAS

Oh thank you so much everyone! I've never been on mumsnet before, now i feel like it was like wen mine were little and went to a baby group and met a group of particularly lovely mums!

still feeling quite ill but not dreadful (thank god for that!) and am going to miss my volunteer day today and go back to bed. then up late and do only wot i can.

have thought about all your comments a lot. trying to be perfect is almost addictive (if you have a competitive personality like me) and trying to show everyone that i can cope as a single mum (i usually do, well, but like everyone sometimes i doubt it) can get out of hand. I am enough as a loving single mum, with a bit of organisation thrown in there, weh hey! I have bought everyone lovely presents, reasonably well in budget, so that's great.

the article on mental health is great btw. would recommend it to us all - from wobble stage right down to meltdown. we are all living within limits for many of our christmases - and halleluyah for the years wen we r not - see post above for link (bbc article).

am now planning lovely festive cold food, what a good idea, thanks! and planning an early morning shop to get on top of that.

merry christmas everyone, and here's to all our varying degrees of being imperfectly perfect xxxxx

AChickenCalledKorma Sat 20-Dec-14 09:16:52

Festive cold food sounds brilliant and will be just as lovely and probably more memorable.

Last year we were on our own (i.e. no guests) for the first time in ages. We asked our daughters what they really like to eat at Christmas and ended up with a massive pile of pancakes on Christmas day. It was genuinely the nicest Christmas lunch we have ever had - no-one was stressed and everyone had exactly what they wanted (smoked salmon & cream cheese with bubbly for me grin)

Grumpyoldblonde Sat 20-Dec-14 10:19:34

I hope you feel better soon, stay in bed as long as possible then just relax watching Christmas films. if you feel rough later have a very hot bath before bed (hot as you can bear) Christmas lunch is basically a fancy Sunday lunch and does not have top be perfect - I don't remember the meals form when I was young, try to get an online shop booked and a glass or 2 of sherry is always a big help! Boxing day, just a buffet is great and easy. Christmas is supposed to be fun, not a huge hassle that makes you ill, look after yourself and Merry Christmas to you

supermodel Sat 20-Dec-14 10:26:22

Found that article on bbc online really helpful thanks.

HellKitty Sat 20-Dec-14 11:02:32

Been there myself. Hugs.

Right, stop stressing and break it down, in reality it is only one day!

Are all the DCs sorted for presents? Let the older ones decorate.
Make a list of what you'll eat on Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing Day. Down to the forgettable stuff like bread and milk! Let the oldest one help with the food shop, I doubt you'll get an online delivery this close, and take the pressure off you. It'll make your DCs feel more grown up and trust me, they will want to help.

paddlenorapaddle Sat 20-Dec-14 11:56:48

Leon's Cold Buster by the bucket load, sambucol and vitamin D should help you boost your immune system

Then make Christmas tasks part of Christmas lower your standards and get the children involved it could actually be fun and bring you all together

Worth a try

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