Right that's it! I'm not fucking doing Christmas anymore! throws toys out of pram...

[SparklyReindeerShit]

I'm fucking sick of it.
Every pissing years the same yes I need to learn for next year
Starts with people messaging 'let's just buy for the dc's birthdays from now on' I've already bought and wrapped your dc's presents.

ITS TWO FUCKING WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!

Aargh.

Now dh's family are making noises to get out of meeting up. Not that I've spent hours choosing buying and wrapping presents for you ungrateful fuckers. Oh no. I've got all the time in the world to be waiting until the last pissing minute to rush out and do it when you deign to let me know you want to meet up. Yes, with a toddler and newborn I can be sooooo spontaneous these days

I'm just so MAD if you hadn't worked that out

I'm fucking writing this all in my Christmas planner for next year you bastards and we'll see if you get anything then won't we.

Also pisses me off when I give their child a present 'oh I've not bothered this year as yours don't need anything'
Well no, they don't but neither do your but I've bothered to.

Honestly, it's not about my dc getting presents but this happens every bloody year. I just wish come January September people would be honest and say 'let's not bother' then no one ends up messing about.

[SparklyReindeerShit]

Rant over for now

[AlpacaLypse]

I think you need some and ! I'll join you if I may while I try to think of something - ANYTHING - suitable for demented SIL.

[qazxc]

Don't blame you. I'd feel the same if I were you.

[NewEraNewMindset]

That sounds really rude OP.

[NewEraNewMindset]

I mean they sound rude not you btw!!

[CatCushion]

So this is not the first year you got the 'let's just buy presents for DCs birthdays from now on' message? Then why did you buy presents? Do you think kicking off about it could be the reson they are thinking twice about meeting up? The answer is to stop buying their DCs Christmas presents and enjoy spending time with your DH's fakily! (Perhaps it makes them feel you are not interested in them and only interested in maintaining contact with you if they buy presents. It is an easy conclusion to jump to, especially with a DH's family, where everything can be misinterpreted.)

[marne2]

Take the gifts back, keep them for yourself or give them to charity. Make a note for next year not to bother buying them anything. We don't buy for family members ( a part from one nephew ), no one bothers to buy for my dc so I no longer bother with theirs. Save your money, put it towards something for your dc's or towards a weekend away.

[Legionofboom]

Have some more and and even some mulled

Stop buying gifts. They have not been buying for your DC and they have now said to just to do birthday gifts. Take them at their word and do that from now on.

Keep the extra Christmas presents and use them for birthdays if possible. If not can you give them to your DC or charity?

In-laws meeting up at short notice is very annoying and thoughtless of them when you have a toddler and newborn. Do what you can and don't feel too bad if you need to say "No, that doesn't work for us"

[HollyJollyDillydolly]

I would donate them to a womens refuge or somewhere they'd be appreciated and definitely don't buy next year.

[CatCushion]

Yes, and as for meet ups at short notice at this time of year, either make it short or say no. I said no to one set of DH's family who wanted to visit for a weekend. For various reasons, this is not going to be a good idea (mainly DD's health). We'll see them in a couple of weeks or so. Another set arranged to just meet us for lunch, and were flexible on where/when and so we could do that.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

Starts with people messaging 'let's just buy for the dc's birthdays from now on' hmm I've already bought and wrapped your dc's presents.

tell them that say, these days with toddler and new born I have to be organised and have already done your gifts.


or take them back, donate elsewhere.

[SparklyReindeerShit]

Catcushion, this is the first I've heard about not buying apart from birthdays (friends have said this not family) two weeks before Christmas and I've not said a word. I've come on here to kick off thought that's partly what this place was for so I've not said anything.
As for his family, I'm trying to arrange to meet up and give them their gifts but they're being evasive and it'll end up being a last minute thing that suits them rather than planning a decent meetup for us all. Oh and dh won't even go. It'll be me taking the kids.
Not sure why you think I've kicked off with them?

Thanks for the I'm looking forward to

For the record, this is the first time I've been told not to buy (too bloody late) but not the first year I've been messed about.
Just why? Why at this late stage mess people about? I've even told people when I'd started doing shopping so it's not like they had no idea.

[chicaguapa]

Keep the Christmas presents for the birthdays.

Don't buy presents for the in laws until you know if you're meeting up. If that doesn't give you enough time to go to the shops, buy them a box of chocolates and say that you only had a week to get something and that meant you didn't have time.

Better still, you run the show. Tell people in September what you're doing and who you're buying presents for.

[SparklyReindeerShit]

Zevite, told them when I'd started shopping. Not specifically said 'I've bought your kids presents' but generally talked about Christmas shopping. Perfect opportunity to say let's do birthdays no?

[Middleagedmotheroftwo]

Get in first next year. Send everyone a note saying you've decided that as everyone "has enough", you'll be making a donation to charity in lieu of buying presents.
Job done.

[schmeegle]

Just say ok whatever, I'll keep their Christmas gifts that I've already bought for their birthdays throughout next year. Simples.

Then put it out of your mind and concentrate on your own kids' Christmas.

It's very aggravating though. Christmas is a funny time of the year for families.

I remember last year driving a 4hr round trip to do Christmas Eve at inlaws, totally screwing up our own little traditions only to discover on Christmas Day that we were expected back again on Boxing Day.

I was pretty apoplectic but did it anyway while swearing silently to myself that it would never ever happen again.

Chin up. You live and learn.

[3littlebadgers]

Yes I would also go down the route of smiling and putting the gifts of the Scrooges into storage, to be used for various birthday invites throughout the year ahead and save yourself a fortune.

[CatCushion]

Ach, in that case I was in a similar position several years ago. Hardly see SIL now as she doesn't like me or DH.

I gave the gifts anyway, but it just seemed to cause more tension. Wish I had left them at home...you can always say you forgot them by mistake. Why? Am not sure. In SIL's case, she was going through a lot of difficulties and seems to be the sort of person to want us to experience those difficulties too. She makes a lot of assumptions about me and as she doesn't like DH, she interprets everything about us negitively. I gave up with people like that some time ago.

Why on earth is your DH not meeting up with them?

[tumbletumble]

Maybe you are too organised?

[Viviennemary]

Christmas drives me mad too so I sympathise. But you have to come to an agreement with relatives as to whether or not you're buying presents. It is cheeky of them at the last minute to say they're not bothering and they should have given you more warning. I'd be tempted to say well you do birthdays and I'll do Christmas. That will really confuse them.

[Waitingonasunnyday]

Fuck em. I would reply 'OK, I had already got gifts for your children but there is a local toy appeal on so I will pass them on to help others. Have a peaceful Christmas'

And re the inlaws. Direct them to your husband every single time for any meeting up arrangements. If your husband can't make it, you ALL can't make it.

Then have a lovely Christmas with your littlies, having a toddler and newborn (congrats) is hard but wonderful at the same time.

[Clutterbugsmum]

Take the gift back or donate to a childrens charity, local hospital or hospice. And don't bother in the future.

[Fullpleatherjacket]

Seconding re-allocating the gifts for birthdays but I'd also be delegating the present buying and meeting arrangements for dh's family to him from now on.

[Bowlersarm]

Save the presents to give on their birthdays and don't give them out at Christmas, after all.

It's a pretty stressful time for most people, you aren't alone.

[DayLillie]

All my brothers and sisters decided to only buy for children, and forgot to tell me. I gave them and the in-laws their pressies and it only slowly dawned on me when I got nothing and my sister sneaked hers in her bag without opening. The in-laws, lovely as always, said thank you for their presents, but the siblings said nothing.

They let me buy, wrap, transport and give out the pressies without a word. If I had known in advance, I would have taken great delight in giving them to a hospice or refuge where at least someone would have enjoyed opening them. It was a horrible, horrible position to be in. It would have been nice to know someone somewhere was enjoying them.