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It's Christmas and I am being a miserable bitch.....

(31 Posts)
BarbaraHumbug Thu 11-Dec-14 10:36:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthernOne Thu 11-Dec-14 10:45:40

Even children know that Father Christmas doesn't bring you everything you want!

Extended family get token gifts if any.

It's the thought that countssmile

The kinds of gifts you mention imo come from partners/parents

MissLurkalot Thu 11-Dec-14 10:46:31

I made this mistake for many years, and would feel exactly the same.

I no longer ask!

It's upto you now what you do.. Go ahead and get everything theyve asked for and bite your lip and DON'T ask them next year.
Or, for the adults, not the kids, don't get them the things and just get them something small and novelty like.

NorwaySpruce Thu 11-Dec-14 10:50:13

You might find that most people hate being asked, that's why you've ended up with the kind of list you have.

If you know the people at all well, buy something they'd like.

If you don't know them well, send a card, or if you must, a generic foodie hamper type thing.

NotQuitePerfect Thu 11-Dec-14 10:54:06

Ooooh tricky. Could you just give them £10 vouchers? Definitely don't ask them what they want next year!

We too are generally on the receiving end of utter tat from in-laws. Often they look like they've come from jumble sales! fgrin

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 11-Dec-14 11:00:21

You could get them what they want but get the cheaper version ifyswim. So for the jumper get a similar from M&S, as they have 30% selected lines this weekend, instead of Boden.

The vouchers are easier to downgrade as you just buy a minimum token amount so £10-£15 max if they are adults. That way it will be easier to downgrade it even more next year.

Or just buy a load of M&S musical xmas trees biscuit tins for £5 atm as a generic family gift! ;-) They can be reused next year as a table top decoration so very eco friendly!

MissYamabuki Thu 11-Dec-14 11:01:38

It's not you, it's them. Your relatives are taking the mickey and you are understandably pissed off.

Yes it's the thought that counts and not a lot of thought went into that penguin thing you got. In the meantime you are running yourself ragged trying to get people something that they actually want / need, to show that you care (money doesn't necessarily come into this). Without a bit of thought the whole present-giving thing is a depressing waste of time and money for all concerned.

I'd get them cheap tat and say sorry, we ran out of time to get the nice jumper, vouchers etc maybe next year we can all get organised more in advance? fangry fgrin

LingDiLong Thu 11-Dec-14 11:04:38

Have you already bought them or can you get them on the cheap? You can 'running gear' cheap in Sports Direct. Boden stuff from Ebay? If you can't get cheap enough vouchers buy them something inexpensive from those places instead?

I would NOT be going over budget for anyone.

SunnyBaudelaire Thu 11-Dec-14 11:07:02

do you think that possibly they see you as a soft touch?
sorry but as soon as someone refers to themselves as 'muggings' I do wonder if there is a touch of burning martyr going on.

snowmanshoes Thu 11-Dec-14 11:17:43

John Lewis Vouchers £10-£15
Golf gear - balls and a golf towel
Running gear - sweat bands and socks
Boden jumper - say sorry I didn't buy this as don't know if we have the same taste so give them a £15 voucher instead
Spa voucher - they often offer cheaper vouchers for just a facial or manicure rather than a half/whole day type thing
And done!!!!!!!!
Don't spend your money or time on people who take the piss! Then go to Costa and have a white hot chocolate and sit there drinking it with a smug look on your face!

HolgerDanske Thu 11-Dec-14 11:37:29

Next year don't ask fsmile

Sorry it doesn't help for this year. Have some wine and a gorgeous piece of cake, plus an extra big brew of Christmas cheer!

It'll all be over soon...

BarbaraHumbug Thu 11-Dec-14 11:40:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CleanLinesSharpEdges Thu 11-Dec-14 11:43:29

My local Aldi are selling off running gear, t shirts, vests, jackets. Nothing costing over ten pounds.

HoHoHappyHolidays Thu 11-Dec-14 11:48:30

Agree with snowmanshoes

BarbaraHumbug Thu 11-Dec-14 11:54:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paulapantsdown Thu 11-Dec-14 12:00:38

I think its bizarre for adults to expect presents from anyone except their partners!

The exceptions I make and the adults I buy for are :
my LD/disabled brother
his two main carers (as a thank you for their work)
my 86 year old uncle who lives in a nursing home
MIL, who is also very elderly

I have never received a gift from any of these people, nor expect to!

no adult siblings or friends - xmas is for children

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Thu 11-Dec-14 12:03:52

I don't like buying or receiving tat either and in my limited trips to the shops recently, I can't believe some of the utter rubbish that is being peddled as potential Christmas presents.

I've been decluttering a bit recently and I've come to the realisation that for some items, I've been getting rid of previous year's unused Christmas presents to make way for this year's. Utter madness and such a waste.

We only buy for nieces and nephews under 18 (no DCs of our own) and our own parents and discourage others from buying presents for us as we just buy things for ourselves when we want or need them.

I'd suggest nice booze or food treats for any adults, as you can spend as little or as much as you want and Lidl and Aldi especially have some lovely Christmas food that would make great gifts, eg.

Champagne (a tenner at Aldi and very nice/won awards/beaten more expensive brands in blind tasting)
And loads more

Why do they expect you to spend a lot on them when they don't reciprocate? I know the idea is not to give to receive, but why the imbalance. Even if you are much better off than them, you are under no obligation to shower them with expensive gifts unless you want to, which you don't.

BarbaraHumbug Thu 11-Dec-14 12:53:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HolgerDanske Thu 11-Dec-14 13:18:38

fshock that's terrible, Barbara

Just don't do it anymore. Seriously, just stop doing it. Make your mind up that this year is the last you'll be doing this dance.

HolgerDanske Thu 11-Dec-14 13:20:00

Oh and also live languages are about how you show your love for others, not just about what you expect from others. If they're so hot on giving to show their love, they'd be putting a bit more effort into their gifts for you, and showing a bit more gratitude for yours to them!

HolgerDanske Thu 11-Dec-14 13:20:12

Uhm love*

marne2 Thu 11-Dec-14 13:25:24

If one of my family members asked for a boden jumper I would tell then to sod off, maybe buy them a Christmas jumper from primark grin. My family don't really bother much, my mum doesn't spend much and only shops in really rubbish shops ( think really cheap ), I hate people buying me things I won't use, it's just a waste and it fills my house with tat, I don't mind people only spending a few £ but I would rather they spent it on food items or something I can use rather than a dodgy jumper or cheap pj's, I wouldn't have the cheek to ask for anything that costs more than £10 from anyone.

Maybe next year tell them your only buying for children and you don't expect any gifts?

mumofthemonsters808 Thu 11-Dec-14 13:26:04

I detest this part of Christmas, it's all about children, I'm sorry but if this was me no way would I fall for this, I'd make this year the last one that I would buy adults expensive gifts. I really do struggle to understand how adults can be so cheeky and expect or want expensive gifts..

Marcipex Thu 11-Dec-14 13:29:45

Oh yes, if SIL is asked what our niece would like she always names an expensive top brand toy.
They don't even give us a card.
I've stopped asking what they'd like now, as they were confusing me with Santa.

WiggleGinger Thu 11-Dec-14 13:57:49

You don't sound like a princess at all!!!

I know EXACTLY. How you feel!!!!

My extended family are currently NC as "you have so much money and think you are amazing and don't even buy us presents" .... said to me last year!!!

I totally get where you are coming from OP It drives me insane! The expectation of ££££'a being spent when as a pp has said we don't even get a bloody card!!!!!

The year I said I wasn't buying anymore was the year it all kicked off and I was told that I'm ungrateful & that Christmas is for giving ! (Giving to you you grabbing wench .... I wish I could say that to cousins wife's face!!!)

sorry but some £3 primark smellies set isn't my idea of fun! It clutters my house and I end up giving it to the raffle.

I was then told that they would still buy for me even though I wasn't buying.... Ohthe guilt trip... Did they buy??? .... Nope! I think they thought I'd cave! Not a chance!

I'm now at least £150 better off on my Christmas budget !

Sod the lot of them OP & make this the last year you do it.

Tell them in plenty of time so they are fully aware and can't say they already bought!!!

My extended family tell me my dd is missing out I say "oh no dear fam,not at all, as the tat she doesn't get from you is replaced with perhaps a decent set of books from me, as my budget goes a LOT further!)

I was always seen as the soft touch. Not any more SUCKERS!!!!

Ooooh that felt nice to have a rant grin

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