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Need to spend the same amount on each child??

(25 Posts)
kissinggiraffe Tue 02-Dec-14 20:15:00

I have a teen, a 10yr old and a toddler.
I always get them each the same number of presents to open and don't worry who's cost more/less.
Older children want gadgets etc which cost ££££££ toddler is getting a couple of happyland bits and a few schleich animals. OH thinks it's mean to spend so much less on the little. She has no idea how much things cost. She's 20 months old!

Do you all try to spend the same on each child or is same number of gifts ok?

mrsfarquhar Tue 02-Dec-14 20:19:57

No way. Try to make it roughly the same kind of amount to unwrap, but don't count but spending, not at all.

ReadyToBreak Tue 02-Dec-14 20:22:39

I think at such a young age it won't matter if you spend less on the youngest as they won't know.

Unfortunately, my parents spent a fortune on my youngest sibling (6 yrs younger) and not much on us older ones and it caused a lot of resentment.

We aren't spoilt at all and really appreciated the gifts but when you get a pair of pjs and a hot water bottle and your sibling gets the latest games console, luxury watch, tv, brand new car etc it isn't very nice. Obv we're an extreme example!

I personally, think it's better to spend roughly the same on each when they're at an age they understand the differences.

MrsPnut Tue 02-Dec-14 20:24:53

Nope, not mean at all.

I don't even make sure there are the same number of parcels to open but then I have an almost 18 year old and an 8 year old. The 8 year old has loads of lego bits and a stunt scooter and her sister has an expensive handbag and an expensive make up set which come to nearly £300. I'm not going to buy junk to make up the number of parcels.

ABeautifulLie Tue 02-Dec-14 20:25:57

I used to make sure that I'd spent the same amount on each child. I would write a list of everything I'd bought, with the prices, and keep it completely equal.
For the last few years I have stopped making the lists and counting how much I spend. I buy things that I know each child will love and I don't feel the need to spend the same amount, or even give them an equal number of presents.
Trying to keep it equal felt too much like hard work and I struggled to find suitable presents to make up the numbers. I must have wasted so much money on crap that wasn't wanted or needed.

kissinggiraffe Tue 02-Dec-14 20:30:28

ready that must have been hard.

Older two presents amount to very close to £400 each. Youngest total is about £150. They will each have 10 presents to open plus a stocking. All stockings contain very similar items and cost roughly the same (notebooks, pens, hair accessories etc).
Maybe we can put money in toddlers bank account to make up for spending so much less?

PesoPenguin Tue 02-Dec-14 21:04:26

I think in your case it will even out as your toddler grows up. Presumably your older 2 had less spent on them when they were 2? So in that sense, it's fair.

RJnomore Tue 02-Dec-14 21:07:08

Nope. I have a 10 and a 15 yo and the 15 yo is always more expensive, but I buy the things that are appropriate for each of them, I don't spend to a certain amount just for the sake of it. As the 10yo gets older she will get more expensive too...sad

RJnomore Tue 02-Dec-14 21:07:58

Or what peso said, I just said it back to front sorry!

DramaAlpaca Tue 02-Dec-14 21:10:07

I've always tried to spend roughly the same on all three of them, and they've always had the same number of parcels as well.

AMerryScot Tue 02-Dec-14 21:11:46

We only give them one present each, although they do give presents to one another.

We tend to go for whatever is age appropriate and don't try to make the prices even. They younger children benefit from hand me downs, so it is impossible to be fair in a given year.

bogiesaremyonlyfriend Tue 02-Dec-14 22:08:57

It's a flaming minefield of over thinking and guilt isn't it!!! I have equalish prices and same number of presents but am now stressing that dd1's boxes are bigger so it looks like she has more.... They are 4 and 2 so its not like they will notice or care but I feel that somehow subconsciously I love dd2 less and that is why I've bought smaller presents.... I think I'm loosing my marbles!

mumslife Tue 02-Dec-14 22:11:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumslife Tue 02-Dec-14 22:12:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitchymatchy Tue 02-Dec-14 23:35:46

Ready that sounds awful.

This year DC1(8) os getting an ipod nano and DC2(6) is having less spent on him. But his turn will come.

It is genuinely difficult to be fair anyway. The older one has had more spent on her generally but she's often had practical things like scooters and bikes. She's had to 'use up' her main present on these things, then DS gets them for free, albeit handmedowns, then gets a big toy as his main present. But then, he doesn't get much new stuff. It must be even harder with children of the same gender.

MummyPig24 Wed 03-Dec-14 03:46:18

I think we spend roughly the same but I'm not too worried about it. As long as they have the same number of presents to unwrap, that's the main thing. This year the baby has less because he is only 9 months so has doesn't understand yet.

HoHoHappyHolidays Wed 03-Dec-14 08:29:10

As long as all children are equally happy, who cares how much you spend on each child!

Waitingonasunnyday Wed 03-Dec-14 18:24:10

Sometimes I get the eldest the more expensive version of something, knowing that the youngest will get the hand me down benefit of it. But for presents, I make sure they will both be equally happy with their gifts, regardless of cost.

darlingfascistbullyboy Wed 03-Dec-14 18:41:11

I do the same.

Mine are 14, 8, 5 & 3 - the 14yo has significantly more spent on her than the others ... but since things get smaller as well as more expensive her pile looks less impressive! She's old enough to understand that. The 3 & 5yo have had pretty much the same amount of money spent - by chance rather than plan - & the 8 year old somewhere in the middle.

They all have the same number of presents. If I was to try to spend the same amount I'd just end up buying stuff for the sake of it - either extra stuff for the little ones or stuff that the 14yo doesn't really want - which is just silly.

apotatoprintinapeartree Wed 03-Dec-14 18:43:57

I had a spell of spending the same on each until the eldest reached 21.
Now I spend most on the youngest (10) then ds2 (20) then ds1 (23)

When they were all at home and under 18 they all got the same money.

BrieAndChilli Wed 03-Dec-14 18:46:29

I do a kid of complicated weigh up of size, cost and quantity when it come to my 3s presents!
Eg this year ds1 main present is skylanders swopforce which I got for £10, dds is my fried Cayla which was £50 and ds2s is a second hand wooden tidmouth sheds that I got from a friend for free, so I have spent more on dd but they all have a present that is rrp roughly the same and equalise in size
I do that with all the presents including stockings so eg they will all have a tooth brush, chocs, etc etc

disneymum3 Wed 03-Dec-14 19:34:04

Here we do same number of presents, 2main, then same amount in stocking. But price always differs. For example DS1's main presents have cost us £90, DD' s have cost £60, and DS2' s have cost £30.

ThePortlyPinUp Wed 03-Dec-14 19:38:05

We spend roughly the same on each of our 4dd's, dd1 who is 13 understood that if she wanted a more expensive present like a tablet that would be the only present. They all had small things on their lists in the end and have around the same amount of gifts.

toptomatoes Wed 03-Dec-14 19:38:10

We have a rough budget per child and try to he similar amounts but don't worry about it too much. We've soent similar on the 8 and 4 year olds but a lot less on the 20 month old, I would have spent less on the others at that age too so it is 'fair'.

AtlanticDrift Thu 04-Dec-14 22:24:41

No it never works out that way. Definitely gets a bit more expensive as they get to the teen stage

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