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DS is going to grow up thinking he never got any presents on most Christmases isn't he?

(19 Posts)
Hurr1cane Sun 30-Nov-14 12:23:59

He's 8 with autism and severe learning disabilities

As soon as people's Christmas decs went up he thought it was Christmas. Every single morning he comes down expecting presents and cries when there is none sad

I've tried the count down app. Told him Santa will come when our Christmas tree is up (Christmas Eve to make it easier for him to know)
But nothing's working.

He'll grow up thinking I'm a nasty mum who missed loads of Christmases won't he? sadsadsad

MokunMokun Sun 30-Nov-14 12:36:20

My kids are too impatient for advent calendars so every day I hang a small stocking with a chocolate or biscuit or some treat in it for them to find when they wake up. Maybe you could do something like that?

Hurr1cane Sun 30-Nov-14 12:40:23

I don't think he'd get that the presents weren't downstairs yet from that though sad if he doesn't even understand that the Christmas tree isn't up yet.

This has been every day since Halloween. Except when he was in the hospital.

DishwasherDogs Sun 30-Nov-14 12:44:19

A friend of mine with a ds with ASD has ended up spreading Christmas out over the whole month.
He gets a small present to open every day and some sort of treat (or an every day thing dressed up as a treat).
It works for them, but I am in awe of her organisational skills!

Moniker1 Sun 30-Nov-14 12:44:20

Can you remember all your Xmas presents as a child? I can't. In fact can only remember the ones that appeared in photos taken at teh time. So prob he won't remember the disappointment either.

Hurr1cane Sun 30-Nov-14 12:45:58

Dishwasher he watches videos of previous Christmases and wants 'loads of presents' he does get a lot to open but most are second hand job lots of toys for him to line up.

I hope he doesn't remember I'm starting to feel really guilty.

Nervo Sun 30-Nov-14 12:48:29

I don't remember my Christmas presents either. Again, unless there are photos.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 30-Nov-14 12:51:36

But if he associates your tree going up with getting presents then no wonder other people trees a month earlier confuse him grin

Hurr1cane Sun 30-Nov-14 12:56:26

He's not seen a tree yet I don't think. We don't often visit people's houses. But he's seen the lights. He loves them, and the adverts etc

Hitmonlee Sun 30-Nov-14 19:41:51

My DS is 9 with complex autism. He struggles to understand christmas being on 25th so we spread it out using the elf who brings little things each day with a letter reminding him how many sleeps are left.

Sometimes he brings craft kits sometimes very small toys to add to the lineup on his bedroom windowsill. We introduced this last year and it was the first time he really got Christmas. He can't remember a single present but he remembers the elf coming smile

marne2 Sun 30-Nov-14 20:04:43

I would give him a gift a day, getting them all on one day is quite overwhelming anyway, maybe leave him a present under the tree every day and save his main present for Christmas Day.

Dd2 has ASD and when she was younger christmas was a nightmare as she had no concept of time and dates, we had a problem with Boxing Day as she thought she would wake up to more gifts in her stoking, we had to re wrap a few things and put them in her stocking for a few days after. Luckily she is now totally obsessed with what the date is, she is petrified of Santa though and she does not sleep for more than half an hour Christmas Eve ( last year was hard work and I was so tired Christmas Day ), I'm not sure how we will make things easier this year.

Hurr1cane Sun 30-Nov-14 23:28:21

Like I said a gift a day would not work for my DS. I know it works for some but it really wouldn't for him.

MsAspreyDiamonds Mon 01-Dec-14 04:24:58

Bless him. It is hard my ds has ASD and trying to explain the concept of time is difficult. Everything has to be immediate & there is no understanding of waiting.

We dont celebrate Christmas but have family members who do so he gets confused as to why we dont but others do. It is a little easier as his birthday is the week before Christmas. I also save any xmas gifts people give him for Christmas day and try to make a big deal out of our own cultural celebrations.

ChippingInAutumnLover Mon 01-Dec-14 05:04:30

Poor DS sad. And poor you. It's going to be a long month. But try not to worry about what he'll think in the future, hopefully he'll remember as little as the rest of us and just the good bits x

Hurr1cane Mon 01-Dec-14 05:30:02

Thanks everyone smile his birthday isn't too bad because I just tell him the day before unless someone mentions it to him earlier,

ChippingInAutumnLover Mon 01-Dec-14 05:57:13

You should be sleeping surely!? I hope it hasn't been keeping you awake sad

I'm just going through a bad patch of insomnia, I really should get a night jobsmile. Who needs sleep?

Hurr1cane Mon 01-Dec-14 06:04:05

Haha, this is normal get up time here, in fact I've had a lie in. No I don't sleep long while DS is here and I have an alarm that goes off every hour in the night so I can check he's still inside the building and is ok.

My child is an escape artist.

mdpis3 Mon 01-Dec-14 06:17:51

My DD is mentally and physically disabled with autism thrown in for who knows what reason. We found a smaller additional tree just for her with only her presents underneath it, helped to draw December out and get us closer to the 25th. She took ownership of it and it gave her a purpose. The presents were only ever from others that she got early from distant relatives or friends during the month of December. Her main presents from Santa still came for the 25th. Also, and not just in reference to Christmas, we have stopped all video playbacks and obsessive picture viewing. In this house, while it might bring temporary calm, it actually compounds the issue as she has no reference of time (or of day, night, hunger, who she is, where her legs are but that's a whole other story) so watching videos or looking at photos keeps her in a state of THAT moment as opposed to the here and now. It's then impossible for her to cope when she goes from looking at videos of her opening presents joyfully to the reality of the day we are in currently, which is never as fun. We also keep December really busy. "No, it's not Christmas yet but we are going to see Father Christmas/a Christmas fete/making Christmas cake today/tomorrow/in 3 sleeps" etc It's not perfect but it helps us.

I hope your DS has a wonderful Christmas.

Hurr1cane Mon 01-Dec-14 06:51:16

Thanks MDP smile

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