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How to deal with younger DCs freaking out on Christmas morning wanting siblings presents?!

(16 Posts)
schmeegle Mon 10-Nov-14 11:49:30

Hi everyone,

I have 2 DS aged 3 and 5. Clearly at different stages toy wise. My youngest is at the age where all he really wants is what his older brother has smile even though he isn't really capable of playing with them and is struggling with the concept of sharing grin

I thought about buying them similar toys but then thought that very unfair on older DS as he has very particular interests and I know he will adore what santa is bringing him.

On the face of it, in isolation, DS2 will also adore his gifts but I just know that on Christmas morning I'll be playing referee trying to keep the peace.

They do have one main joint present to play together.

Any advice greatly appreciated flowers

kiwidreamer Mon 10-Nov-14 13:18:19

I'm not sure there is anything more you can do really, its all part of the learning process I guess... older child learning to keep cool and not overreact and younger child learning they cant have everything just cos they want it... have some distractions up your sleeve if things are getting tense, fun little things that both kids will enjoy - buy a million cheapy crackers to pull - tempt them with a selection box - a game everyone can play together - a Facetime or Skype with family - go for a walk

Tricky but next year will be much easier I'm sure!

marne2 Mon 10-Nov-14 13:33:56

My dd's are close in age and we often have this problem, I try and buy them similar presents, for example lego so one has a slightly easier set than the other or one has duplo one has lego? It's getting harder now they are older, dd1 often goes and hides hers in her room so her sister can't get them smile, some things they will share.

ipswichwitch Mon 10-Nov-14 13:38:47

Ours will be 1 and 3 at Christmas, and we've done what marne2 suggests - bought similar presents but age appropriate. For example, DS1 will get the big Jake and the Neverland pirates ship, and DS2 is getting a Little People version. They are both getting some mega bloks, but DS1 gets the harder themed versions. Fingers x it works!

3littlebadgers Mon 10-Nov-14 13:42:27

It might not be as bad as you think. Your youngest DS may be so excited with his own presents that he pays little attention to his older brother. I'd let them open their presents at the same time so he is distracted. On the lead up to christmas tackle the issue as it arises, remove him or distract him when he demands something from his brother to help him understand that this behaviour isn't ok. And if it all goes tits up this year, rest assured it will probably be a lot better next year.

FrancisdeSales Mon 10-Nov-14 13:46:16

Also, talk to them about what happens on Christmas morning so they have an idea what to expect. It doesn't solve all problems/tantrums but then at least they can anticipate and know what will happen next.

schmeegle Mon 10-Nov-14 14:02:04

Thanks for the replies ladies. All very sound advice. It is a slow enough learning curve for some little ones in terms sharing and playing together etc. At least that's what I tell myself when DS2 goes off on one grin

crazykat Mon 10-Nov-14 14:15:54

I've had this problem every Christmas since I had ds1. They'll be 6, 5, 4 and 2 this year which will be interesting.
I've always used distraction to stop tantrums. When one starts trying to take someone else's toy I distract then with their own.

Generally though I've found it not to be too bad as they've got plenty of their own new toys to play with on the day. Its the week after that they usually start trying to nick each others.

They just have to learn that they can't have everything and sometimes all you can do is say 'no' over and over until they stop.

AalyaSecura Mon 10-Nov-14 14:19:24

I have two boys and a similar gap, and at about this age I got ds2 a couple of presents that I knew ds1 would covet - some imaginext batman stuff - so that both boys would want to play with each others' rather than ds1 having the cool toys and ds2 having the baby ones. It worked really well - ds1 more willing to share his toys with ds2 because he also wanted to play with ds2's, and ds2 being really happy with his 'older boy' toys.

ipswichwitch Mon 10-Nov-14 14:29:23

have some wine on standby to cope with saying "no" umpteen times (that's my strategy wink)

myotherusernameisbetter Mon 10-Nov-14 14:54:52

I have two boys 13 months apart but strangely have never had this issue - thinking back I probably did the "similar" but different gifts a lot and also sharing/complimentary gifts of things they were both interested in. Maybe the smaller age gap is the key but guess you cant go back and do anything about that now grin

schmeegle Mon 10-Nov-14 15:27:47

AalyaSecura I've never tried that approach before but I will now, it makes perfect sense!

myotherusernameisbetter a couple of their wee gifts are kind of complimentary so fingers crossed

crazycat you have your hands full grin

Failing all that I'll be joining ipswichwitch wine !

bogiesaremyonlyfriend Mon 10-Nov-14 16:04:16

My dd's are fairly similar in age and I have done similar- bought dd 2 some stuff dd 1 will want, I find that dd2 plays with older toys as she wants what her sister has but that she adapts them herself to suit her development.

oobedobe Mon 10-Nov-14 19:56:12

My DDs will be 2.6 and 6 this Christmas so I am anticipating the same as OP. I have gone the route of getting them a fair amount of similar things (especially in their stockings), but some of DD2's are more basic/babyish versions. DD1's main gift is a Furreal walking puppy, and I was most worried about DD2 screaming 'mine' and trying to get it all day, to hopefully avoid this she is getting a more basic furreal puppy of her own (a much cheaper one, as they both love dogs).

In our house DD2 is the real toy lover so she is getting more dolls, playmobil etc and DD1 is more crafts, imagination play, stuffed animals etc.

But previous years have taught me you never know what the real 'hit' toys will be. They will probably end up fighting over some bit of tat from the pound shop so try not to worry to much!

dancingwitch Mon 10-Nov-14 20:03:51

DC1 is really into crafts so will be getting - and had for her birthday - some crafts kits which can't really be done with DC2 "helping". As happened after her birthday, I will be engineering some time when DC2 is out of the house so that DC1 can do them, eg DC2 going to the supermarket with either DP or I whilst DC1 stays at home. In the past, I have been known to get the 16yo neighbour who is our babysitter over for a couple of hours in the afternoon and do craft kits with DC1 whilst I distract DC2. Yes, it costs me £4 an hour but on occasions it has been worth it to keep the peace and means that I don't have to do these dreadful kits myself.

schmeegle Mon 10-Nov-14 20:40:18

Reassuring to know there are others in a similar boat then and the schmeegle household isn't completely dysfunctional grin

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