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Would you be annoyed if family took your DC to see FC before you did ?

(286 Posts)
MagnificentMalificent Sat 08-Nov-14 09:38:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddFodd Sat 08-Nov-14 09:41:55

Yes, it would. Rather than taking her super early,can't you just tell them not to?

Muggins66 Sat 08-Nov-14 09:44:20

Definitely. My inlaws are the type to overstep the mark and do this so I warned them not to do so

TheBookofRuth Sat 08-Nov-14 09:44:26

Yup, I'd be really upset. I still haven't really got over my mum taking DD for her first ever go on a swing.

SleepyMcgee Sat 08-Nov-14 09:46:01

Yes it would really piss me off. MIL wanted to take DD out for a walk in the pram before DP and I but we said no. I didn't care if I was being precious tbh

Looseleaf Sat 08-Nov-14 09:50:28

I'd actually be very relaxed about this as always gives me a happy feeling when the DC give my parents or ILs pleasure. I wouldn't be like that about everything eg would want to be there for an event like a first day at school but I share so much with our children already. And when my mum's excited about an outing with the children I always feel thrilled and enjoy the break as well as her reaction to it.

But your family need to be sensitive if it does bother you!

Looseleaf Sat 08-Nov-14 09:53:13

OP you should tell them you were disappointed as it was something you'd wanted to take them to- as they otherwise genuinely might not realise? Or do they know?

TheFantasticMrsFox Sat 08-Nov-14 09:54:30

At the time I would have been incandescent. Now, with the benefit of hindsight (DS is 10) I am more like looseleaf in attitude and would think it was no big deal really (which I know is easy for me to say grin)

MagnificentMalificent Sat 08-Nov-14 09:57:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuckySaint Sat 08-Nov-14 09:57:20

My dm has done this, it's annoying.
Except that she told ds1 (after she'd picked him up) that he was going to see FC, she then took him to the nice local garden centre (where you have to book weeks in advance)

But she hadn't booked, and they were sold out of tickets...
So she brought a very upset little boy home and left me to deal with the fallout. angry

DaisyFlowerChain Sat 08-Nov-14 10:23:47

No it wouldn't bother me, if they were kind offer to offer to have the children then upto them what they do during the day. Santa is everywhere at Christmas so children see him a lot.

Philoslothy Sat 08-Nov-14 10:28:33

Would not bother me in the slightest

Castlemilk Sat 08-Nov-14 10:36:14

They would be hugely offended?!

Then you need to offend them now, because it's only going to get to be a bigger problem. There should be absolutely no issue with you saying - we're planning to take DD2 to see FC this year, so could you not take her - we want to do this together as a family with DD1 too.

If they honestly feel offence at that, you have a huge problem - that they don't see your nuclear family as top of the tree - they see themselves there.

PesoPenguin Sat 08-Nov-14 10:40:51

Umm not really, especially if it wasn't planned but they just happened to see a Santa when they were out. I'd take them this weekend, then it's done and you can relax.

Phantomteadrinker Sat 08-Nov-14 10:42:53

Nope not in the slightest, in fact probably glad i didn't have to queue! Don't mean to sound harsh but it's about dcs not you, would you rather they went somewhere with an FC but weren't allowed to go 'in case it upset mummy'?

theposterformallyknownas Sat 08-Nov-14 10:48:52

Bloody hell, they offer free childcare while you work and you complain what they do?

No it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think they were very considerate in sharing the video with you.

You need to realise that you will miss out on things because you work.
If you can't make the nativity or sports day, do you expect them not to go?

They sound lovely and very considerate people.

DaisyFlowerChain Sat 08-Nov-14 11:13:19

Agree theposter, imagine them wanting to do something nice after giving up days every week to provide childcare. How very dare they hmm

OP, if you want to control the childcare then book a nursery and pay for it.

ChoudeBruxelles Sat 08-Nov-14 11:24:02

God forbid grandparents do something nice with their dcs when looking after them. angry

DM took ds (who isnow 8) to see Father Christmas cos they were at a garden centre when ds was 3 without asking me. I just took him another time.

The person who was cross because they put dc on a swing. Really?

LokiBear Sat 08-Nov-14 11:40:02

You need to tell them no. I would have told my ils after they did it that I'd rather they didn't. They might surprise you by understanding. Last year my mil wanted us to go tobogganing on christmas eve. Our dd and DN who were both 2 obviously couldn't do it and mil wanted to sit in the cafe with the little ones whilst we toboggand. I said no. I wanted to do things with my DD not have her sat in a cafe. They were upset but I had to say something. DH was upset because he wanted to do things with his family. However, they didn't want to change their plans to do something more child friendly so that was that. This year, we have booked panto tickets and they are going tobogganing again. No upset, no issues at all. Everyone is over it. Sometimes I think they just need time to understand where you are coming from. For the record, I love my ils to bits and we get on well generally I have just learned to be a bit stronger when it comes to my wishes and my kid.

northender Sat 08-Nov-14 11:58:30

Agree with theposter I think some perspective is needed. As I recall mil is the only person who has taken dd to see FC and it didn't upset me in the slightest.

MagnificentMalificent Sat 08-Nov-14 12:03:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin Sat 08-Nov-14 12:09:00

Not at all - I would be delighted for both the Dcs and the ILs sharing a really nice experience. Not as if there aren't plenty of other opportunities to visit Santa in the run up to Christmas.

TheCowThatLaughs Sat 08-Nov-14 12:13:09

Ex mil has done this in the past. I was a bit pissed off but didn't say anything. She means well.

VampiresLoveNECKtarines Sat 08-Nov-14 12:40:31

YANBU! They should have told you so you could all experience it together!

WorkingBling Sat 08-Nov-14 12:55:22

There are very few things that if pil or my parents did for ds that I would be upset about. We are holding off on Father Christmas, pantonetc so that ds can do it with mil when she arrives two weeks before grist as to visit. I will quite happily drop them at the garden centre and let them go have a good time. I get to bond with ds all the time, I love that mil wants to so things with him.

You are being especially U in light of the fact that they are doing Childcare for you. I think it's great that they are out and about with the dc and finding fun, appropriate things to do n

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