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Are we being stingy?

(356 Posts)
Lones80 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:18:26

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks, DD is 1 shortly after and then there are only three weeks until Christmas. We expect that between them they will get a mountain of toys from family and friends.

We're planning on getting DS a Knights' castle for his birthday and a balance bike plus stocking filler for Christmas and DD a Fisher Price door for her birthday and a trike plus stocking fillers for Christmas. Both will get PJs for Christmas Eve.

However, I've been to the other parenting website for the first time today. There's a thread where people have taken photos of all the gifts for their DC and the number of gifts some people have bought is staggering to me.

As they both have winter birthdays we buy small toys and gifts throughout the year. We are trying not to spoil them, but are we being too stingy?

marne2 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:21:07

If they are getting gifts from family and friends then I think that's plenty, take no notice of the people posting photo's of what they have bought ( I have taken a photo of what I have got my dd's but this is so when I think about buying something else I can look at the photo to convince myself they have enough, would never post the photo for others to see ).

Leeds2 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:22:51

They are only 3 and 1, and will have no idea whatsoever of what other children are getting. What you have bought sounds lovely, and I bet they will really enjoy their new bike/trike. Although possibly enjoy the wrapping paper and boxes more, lol.

I genuinely think very young children get completely overwhelmed by too many presents. I think they cope better with a smaller number of well thought out gifts, and will enjoy playing with them on the day.

LokiBear Tue 04-Nov-14 17:25:42

You need to do Christmas your way. My DD is 3 and I have bought her a pile from santa (I've spent £150, but most things were on sale). She has about 10 presents plus stocking. She will get presents from family too. But, that is what I wanted to buy her. For her first christmas I bought her a jumperoo and gave it to her St the end of November. On the day she just had a couple of soft toys. She was too little at 5 months to know so I didn't get carried away. Do it your way and don't compare yourself to others.

Woodenheart Tue 04-Nov-14 17:27:48

I buy roughly the same amount that you are thinking, for DD, & she doesn't have a birthday near Christmas, when she is older I will get her a bit more.

But ask any adult what they got for their 1st, 2nd, 3rd Xmas etc & they'd probably have no idea, so thats my excuse for not splashing out until shes older grin

WoohoohooandaBottleofBlood Tue 04-Nov-14 17:30:20

I am always amazed at how much people spend on children's Christmas presents, I think with my friends the less money they have the more they spend. Sounds fine to me , especially at age 3.

Lones80 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:36:05

Thanks for the replies. I think as they get older we'll buy more, but I know last year we had to save some gifts for Boxing Day as DS was overwhelmed. They just grow out of toys so quickly I'm loathed to spend too much money.

cleoteacher Tue 04-Nov-14 17:36:18

We are trying to have a budget Christmas this year as have loads of family birthdays just before Christmas and after. Ds birthday is only 9 days before Christmas so a very expensive time for us. He will be 2.

We haven't brought much. A shop for him which was brought with tesco vochures so only cost us a tenner for his birthday, a second hand scooter for Christmas which was £20 and then some stocking fillers which are also second hand.

Feel abit tight as hardly spent anything but he's only 2 so won't know difference, our family is ever expanding so more and more presents to buy for plus 5 birthdays just before Christmas.

ilovelamp82 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:38:14

Mine are 3 and 1. And both have December birthdays. This year I'll mostly be getting out my oldest ds' s old toys and wrapping them for the youngest just so my eldest sees that he has the same amount.

I have got them a lot. Only because that was how it was whwn I grew up. Only really buy clothes and books throughout the year and spoil them rotten at Christmas. Only 1 or 2 presents on their birthday. As that's what I had as a child and was happy with it.

I don't think there is a right or wrong. As long as they have toys to play with and you spend within your means that's all that matters.

They'll be happy regardless. Especially at this age.

ilovelamp82 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:39:31

Oh and I have no extended family. Only one brother, so kind of feel like I'll need to make up for that as the years go by.

PesoPenguin Tue 04-Nov-14 17:40:21

It sounds fine for such young children. I don't get the whole taking pictures of the 'pile' and putting it on fb. It's all just, 'look at me and how much money I have/ how much I love my kids' ( not that the amount you spend reflects how much you love your kids, just that people who post these pics want people to think that if that makes sense).

WipsGlitter Tue 04-Nov-14 17:41:36

Loads. Mind have new year birthdays do I feel your pain, it's too much in a short timeframe.

Was the other site net mums???!! Who does that - takes photos? I've only seen one person a friend of a friend on Facebook but she's very... Material goods motivated.

cadidog Tue 04-Nov-14 17:42:57

DS will be 1 at the end of January so I'm limiting myself to three gifts + stocking. One of those gifts will be some books for him. It's going to look like Hamleys in this house either way.

Iggly Tue 04-Nov-14 17:45:17

Who cares what other kids get?

We actually got ds 4-5 presents for his 5th birthday and it was too much. He was overwhelmed. He also got presents from family.

So for dd, I will get her one main present and a couple of little bits. That's it!

Same for Christmas.

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 04-Nov-14 17:45:30

Sounds similar to what my 3 & 1 year olds are getting! Mine have an older sibling and no shortage of toys, I have learned that giving small children lots in one go really is no joy to them. It's too much for them to have to unwrap lots and have so many things to try and play with.

VampiresLoveNECKtarines Tue 04-Nov-14 17:46:56

Please link said websites with these crazy photos on OP, I have to see them!!!

Fullpleatherjacket Tue 04-Nov-14 17:47:26

I'm glad all this photo comparison stuff didn't exist when mine were little.

At that age they got loads of stuff we'd bought from car boot sales. It was all excellent condition and they got lots more than we'd have been able to afford new. They didn't know the difference and for the amount of time it was likely to be played with it didn't seem worth spending mega buck plus I had no pangs of conscience or regret giving it all to charity shops when it was outgrown.

Don't suppose it would have looked good on FB though hmm

Lones80 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:48:44

Hope this works: link

jellycat Tue 04-Nov-14 17:49:48

My 2 have birthdays not long before Christmas and when they were little I didn't spend much on either Christmas or birthdays, partly because they have no idea at that stage and also it seemed silly to get them all their new things practically in one go. We always planned to buy things mid-way through the year as well because otherwise they went nearly a whole year with nothing new. So I don't see a problem with what you're planning. In fact, the year ds2 was one I hardly bought him anything - most of his presents were ds1's old toys re-wrapped. ds1 couldn't remember most of them and ds2 had no idea they were second-hand grin.

chanie44 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:54:12

Mine are 4 and 2, I recently had a clear out of all the unopened gifts from last Xmas. I couldn't believe how much there was.

We try and buy things they will enjoy playing with, otherwise it's a waste.

lornemalvo Tue 04-Nov-14 17:54:50

I think it sounds like a lovely Christmas. I think big piles of tat that won't all be played with is a waste of the world's resources, creates unnecessary landfill and prevents children finding happiness from the small things in life. I like to give my children a few presents I know they will love but I would never give them half a toy shop each even if it was free.

VampiresLoveNECKtarines Tue 04-Nov-14 17:54:57

This shows if you cheat on Mumsnet and venture to the dark side this is what happens- netmums is evil!!!

Fullpleatherjacket Tue 04-Nov-14 17:56:13

I've been known to re-wrap toys too, jelly grin

Primadonnagirl Tue 04-Nov-14 17:59:33

WHO ON EARTH posts pictures of the presents they have bought for their kids online?!!!! It's only to boast. Christmas is about giving a gift as a ton of your love, not about how wealthy or organised you are. Bollocks to them,OP, and enjoy your children's faces at their presents whatever they have got

Primadonnagirl Tue 04-Nov-14 18:00:22

Token not ton....sorry wine hasn't kicked in yet!

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