DB and SIL live about 100 miles from us, with 2 x DN (4 and 6). SIL is VERY close to her family and over the years DB has become also – his BIL is now his best mate, they go on holiday twice a year with his PILs etc. Which sadly seems to mean that our family is far lower down their priority list – I’ve not seen my DNs for nearly 2 years, despite repeated offers for them to come to ours, offering dates for us to go to theirs etc. I don’t think the youngest could pick me out of a line up as I’ve only ever met her twice. Last Christmas I spent over £100 on gifts for the four of them well in advance of Christmas, tried to arrange some dates to pop and see them for a few hours to drop off the presents, which DB wouldn’t commit to. So in the end as DP and I were away for Christmas itself I ended up leaving the gifts at my parents, DB visited them just after Christmas and collected them, and that was that. Not even a token present from them for me and DP, no card even, no thankyou note from the DNs.
This year has been similar in terms of effort– I’ve spoken to DB on the phone a handful of times, he makes ‘oh you must come and visit’ noises, I suggest some dates or ask him to suggest some, he doesn’t get back to me. This year I don’t think I’ll bother with presents for them at all – is that really bad? DP and I are pretty skint and aiming for a low cost Christmas all round, and tbh I’d rather save the money or spend it on someone else in our family who will actually be thankful for nice gifts. I can’t even imagine the DNs will ask ‘why hasn’t Aunty Boo bought us a present?’, I have that little relationship with them. It makes me sad.
Would you still buy for them or not bother?
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Christmas
Do you buy for family members you barely see?
26 replies
BooDidIScareYou · 03/11/2014 09:23
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