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Am I going to have to be the one that tells them?

(27 Posts)
ditavonteesed Thu 30-Oct-14 19:13:33

dds are 8 and 11 and still very firmly believe, however I wonder if 11yo will get teased. Please tell me I dont have to, that she can have 1 more year, I always just thought it would happen naturally.

DurhamDurham Thu 30-Oct-14 19:23:12

I just made sure my two knew about it before they went to 'big school'. I think they need to know before someone else shatters their dreams. Primary schools are happy to go along with the story, big schools not so much so smile

tanya1312 Thu 30-Oct-14 22:32:39

My daughter is 11 and still seems to believe, or just very good at making me think she does. She has told me some of her friends don't believe, I asked her what her response to that was and she said I don't talk about it x

Psycobabble Thu 30-Oct-14 22:36:15

Aww that's sweet let them have another year ! My mum told me when I innocently asked how dad took apart the gas fire for Santa to get in , I was just genuinely interested but mum thought is twigged " well don't tell your brother but there's no such thing as Santa" childhood = ruined ��

DraaaamaghAlpacaaaagh Thu 30-Oct-14 22:36:24

I also made sure mine knew before they went to secondary school.

Unfortunately, DS3 was accidentally told by his older cousin, who assumed that he already knew. Poor DS3, who was 10 at the time, was distraught, and didn't speak to his cousin for ages grin

theposterformallyknownas Thu 30-Oct-14 22:41:21

tell the 11 year old but ask them not to spoil it for younger one.
I had to tell dd she is 10 but mixes with much older children and is mature in every other way.
She was a bit down but happy to be grown up as she said.
I think you really need to tell dc during y6 definitely before secondary

stealthsquiggle Thu 30-Oct-14 22:47:42

I would just leave it. I never had the conversation with my parents, and I know DB2 didn't either. By 14 I was the one helping DM wrap stockings ( we went into different rooms to do each other's smile) though. I very much doubt that DS (almost 12) believes in FC, or the Easter Bunny, or the tooth fairy, but he chooses to go along with it and so do we.

Why does there have to be a conversation? Can't it just drift away?

CurlyWurlyCake Thu 30-Oct-14 22:52:06

I never told mine and now they have just let me know they know with a growing up "I worked it out all by myself" grin.

We still have DD3 who believes so they enjoy helping me bring her magic and it's our little secret.

Oakmaiden Thu 30-Oct-14 22:53:20

My 11 and 9 year old do. Or appear to, anyway. Apparently it must be Father Christmas, because they can't imagine me getting up in the middle of the night to do presents... hmm

littlequestion Thu 30-Oct-14 23:00:22

My kids are 7 and 9 and question EVERYTHING but they KNOW Santa is real. Because how else could those hoof prints appear by the fireplace every Christmas morning?

I sometimes idly wonder if Santa is real but just never visits our house as all four of us are so naughty? Does anyone actually have any proof he doesn't exist?

NormHonal Thu 30-Oct-14 23:04:13

Gah, my DC1, aged all of 6yo, stated "I don't think Father Christmas is real. I think Mums and Dads do it all."

Which led to my slightly panicky response of "NoooooOOOOooooOoooo darling, you must keep believing in the magic at least for the sake of 3yo DC2 pleasefortheloveofgod."

Really wasn't expecting to have to field such questions so soon! <wails>

stealthsquiggle Thu 30-Oct-14 23:08:00

Norm - probably the right answer. DS did question, once, and I started on the "well there are myths..." and he got all upset, so DH weighed in with "don't be silly of course he is real" and DS was happy again and has never asked since.

..it's a minefield!

SakuraSakura Thu 30-Oct-14 23:16:40

I've been wondering this too! Dd is 10. Last year, at about 11pm on Xmas eve she had a wobbly moment when she was falling asleep, and asked was Santa real. I think it had been playing on her mind for a while. If it had been even 24 hours earlier I would have been honest & clear! But as it was so late on Xmas eve, I just said that it was up to her if she believed, and if you believe it he will come. Santa hasn't been mentioned since. She's generally very clued-in & copped-on. She must know on some level....but I can't be sure blush.

inchoccyheaven Fri 31-Oct-14 00:28:02

I hoped never to have the conversation and didn't with ds1 now 14 but ds2 last year asked and was adamant he wanted to know truth and was very upset I had lied all this time. I said it was creating magical times not lying. I still talk of Santa though and will carry on with the traditions.

HarrietSchulenberg Fri 31-Oct-14 01:06:14

Ds1 was 8 when he triumphantly announced, "I know" one December morning. He followed me into the kitchen and kept repeating "I KNOW" until I asked him what he knew, when he said "that Father Christmas isn't real". I was slightly gobsmacked at his timing but he carried on to ask, "I'm right, aren't I?".
Resisting the urge to hiss "Shut up, your brothers will hear" at him, I told that he hwd a choice. To have a boring Christmas where dull old mum and dad bought all the presents or to have a magical Christmas where an old man from the North Pole brought his toys at midnight on a sleigh pulled through the frost and snow by flying reindeer. A Christmas full of lights and colours and magic. If he wanted a magical Christmas then Father Christmas would visit him for as long as liked, but the choice was his. He barely stopped to think before squeaking "I want the magic Christmas!".
He'll be 14 on Saturday and he's full of attitude but he still hangs up his stocking and looks for the letter from the North Pole that arrives on Christmas Eve (although I wish he'd stop with the letter as, frankly, there's getting less for the Elf and the Polar Bear to talk to him about).

VeryStressedMum Fri 31-Oct-14 01:12:45

I made sure they knew before they went to secondary school but they were under strict instruction to never breathe a word to the younger ones. its worked but I'm very worried teenage dds will take a hormonal mood swing and tell ds when he's annoying them!

mumwithanipad Fri 31-Oct-14 01:16:22

My dd asked me just after Christmas last year, she was 8 and when I asked what she thought, she said it's fake because she'd heard a classmates mum say she's texted Santa and they won't be getting anything as her dc had misbehaved but they still got stuff so either the Santa story is fake or you don't have to actually be good to get presents. She thought the first was the most believable as parents love their kids so would still buy them presents which made more sense than a stranger buying them after getting a text to say not to. I couldn't really argue with that. She wasn't upset though and knows not to say anything to her younger cousins etc.

This is the first year without her believing, people have started asking what she would like off Santa and she gives me a cute knowing smile before saying she hasn't thought of it yet.

turdfairynomore Fri 31-Oct-14 02:06:52

I told both mine when they were 11. DS was gobsmacked. He had no idea at all. DD said "oh I knew that already" so I asked why she hadn't said anything to me "you always seemed to believe it so much mum that I wasn't sure if nana and papa had told you"!!!

lecherrs Fri 31-Oct-14 02:32:59

I told my year 6 daughter a few weeks ago and she told me she didn't believe me and she was going to carry on believing!

I had the opportunity and told her none of it was true - FC, Easter bunny and the tooth fairy. I even showed her her baby teeth as proof. So now she knows, but has chosen to continue believing, so she's still writing him a letter and going to visit him this Christmas!!

My youngest (7) on the other hand, told my eldest that FC is not real, and she's more than happy to accept it's mum and dad. Children eh!?!

theposterformallyknownas Sat 01-Nov-14 17:50:45

mum

That's really sad, my ds1 was like this at this age, I continued it and he is ever thankful, still mentions he's glad now at 23 grin
Didn't with ds2 when he was 9 and asking questions and he said he wished we'd kept it going as he hadn't worked it out.
I think they must be very bright to work out all that at 8.

marne2 Sat 01-Nov-14 21:27:13

I told my almost 11 year old the truth a few weeks ago ( well she asked so I told her the truth ), she wasn't upset at all, I think I was more upset than she was sad. She's now happy that if we see something notice when we are out shopping she can ask me to buy it for her for Christmas.

WhispersOfWickedness Sun 02-Nov-14 05:28:26

My then-three-year-old worked it out last year shock He has probably forgotten again by now though grin

Hairylegs47 Sun 02-Nov-14 06:13:32

Never had the conversation with any of my 6 DC. I remember finding out 'the truth' at 8 and was devastated, it felt like he'd been murdered. So I decided to not tell my own children. My eldest DD pulled me to one side when she was 6 declaring Santa wasn't real, she'd worked it out. I asked her about the tooth fairy, she said ' Oh she's real!' She'd just lost a tooth, so she knew it was in her best interests to still 'believe'.
Turdfairy I love the idea your DC didn't tell you in case your mum and dad hadn't told you, that is so sweet!

MrsJamin Sun 02-Nov-14 07:32:28

Really surprised you're talking about 10 yr olds not knowing, I was feeling awkward about nearly-7 yr old ds 1 still believing! Perhaps we have a few more magical Christmases to go then...

stealthsquiggle Sun 02-Nov-14 11:44:55

I do think it's easier to maintain the fiction, or at least not have to confront it, when FC isn't responsible for all presents. In our house, as in my childhood, FC fills your stocking with silly things. He is not in any way responsible for supply or delivery of big presents, which come from the people that they actually do come from. Since stocking presents are little things which no one needs thanking for, there is no guilt attached to pretending to believe IYSWIM.

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