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what is the cut off point for giving money for neices/nephews

(37 Posts)
southeastastra Tue 24-Dec-13 23:22:43

i would usually give them a tenner or something but once they reach 18 isn't that a bit much? what would be a good time to stop, it's becoming a dilema now.

mumeeee Sat 28-Dec-13 11:50:26

We still buy for our own children and DD1's DH just not for nephew and nieces after 21

GreenShadow Fri 27-Dec-13 22:16:20

Mixed examples here.

My Uncle who is late 70s (I'm 52) still gives us a cheque at Christmas and birthdays and also gives money to my DC. He has no other immediate family, so perhaps it's not so surprising.

My family have recently discussed this as our DS1 is now 21 and so my Dsis has decided that that will be the cut-off which I think is quite fair enough.

mumeeee Fri 27-Dec-13 00:57:38

We stop at 21 here.

Breezy1985 Fri 27-Dec-13 00:50:28

I'm 28 and my aunt still buys for me, and my dc. We are close though and she never had children of our own and she says she likes to spoil us. I buy for her too.

I've got 3 n & n, they are little still but I can't imagine not buying them a gift at Christmas even when they are adults.

hallowisitmeyourelookingfor Fri 27-Dec-13 00:35:29

I still give to my nieces and nephews, 2 are 22! They are still my nieces and nephews however old they are. They both earn a good wage, more than me (SAHM), but we are all a close family and I like buying for them. Between DP and I, we have 15 n&ns and buy for all of them. Won't ever stop I don't imagine.
I am 29 and only have one aunt that buys for me (have 7!) but I can't remember if the others ever did even when I was small.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 26-Dec-13 22:56:33

Christmas Hamper of food.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 26-Dec-13 22:55:32

For birthday money, I meant to type, 'pocket money'.

Oh, for the last couple of years I've sent a food hamper as a family gift to be shared by them.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 26-Dec-13 22:53:37

I have no idea when to stop sending my Niece and Nephew presents. The fact that they have never sent me either a birthday or Christmas present is a moot point. For the record I was not expecting them to spend their birthday money on me.

They've only been strong armed into the cards by their mother (my sister).

I'll send my nephew a 21st birthday card next year, but no present. My niece will get a cheque as it's her 18th birthday and I gave the same to her brother when he turned 18.

After that, it's cards only from me. I feel bad that my niece will miss out on two years worth of birthday presents. The alternative being that I send her birthday presents for a couple more years. Then my nephew doesn't get anything. However, as I've decided that he's at his birthday present cut off point, maybe it won't matter.

Mellowandfruitful Thu 26-Dec-13 22:40:20

I do presents / vouchers till 18 then all family households get a box of chocolates or biscuits to share.

Lucylouby Thu 26-Dec-13 22:34:56

I get a present from my aunt, but have told her (nicely) she should just spend the money on my dc, but we are a small family and if she wasn't buying for us, she wouldn't have many presents to buy and she thinks that would be a bit sad.
A close friend has 3 dc, eldest now 20. Last year I told her it would be her last present (we give them all cash). DH kicked off about it saying we couldn't give to only two of them, but I stuck to it and she didn't mind at all. She earns far more than I do, has limited outgoings, and spent £500 on a handbag in the summer. I can only dream of saving that amount of money to spend on something as frivolous as a new bag!

TheNightIsDark Thu 26-Dec-13 08:39:06

I still get money from my aunts despite being 25 with my own children.

thegreylady Thu 26-Dec-13 08:36:13

We never stop until they have dc then presents go to dc instead.

Floralnomad Thu 26-Dec-13 01:12:30

No stopping point in our family ,but I think if they're working they should be reciprocating with at least a token gift and if they don't do that then its fair enough to stop buying for them .

NoComet Thu 26-Dec-13 01:00:52

My aunt's still send presents, sensible aunt, Some very nice chocolates and £25 each for the DDs (which is lovely of her, as I have never sent her a present, only my cousins as her DD was my flower girl)

Daft aunt 4 strange hats, two very. very itchy. Her presents are always very odd, always have been, Hats, scarves, bags no one would ever wear. Jigsaw that don't fit obviously from craft stalls.

DM has had over 50 years of odd gifts and tried to get them to give up, but no, they still keep coming.

FortyMerryFuckers Wed 25-Dec-13 10:15:26

I am 28 and still get properpresents from aunts and I have my own DS

chanie44 Wed 25-Dec-13 10:11:04

I'm in my 30s and my aunt still gives me a present (money). Although last year, instead of giving money to me, she said it was for the children. Which is fine.

I'm close to my nieces and nephews, so I think I will always give them something even just a token present, but OH and I only have 6 between us (so far) so isn't a great hardship.

I think 18-21 is fine to stop, but I would make it clear as to the reasons and do so early, not on Xmas eve!!!!

MirandaWest Wed 25-Dec-13 09:23:50

I still get a Christmas present from one of my aunts and I'm 38. The other one used to give up until a few years ago and then they told my sister and me that they were stopping (this included presents for my DC). Not sure why - maybe me being 35 was the important moment grin

LucyLasticKnickers Wed 25-Dec-13 09:20:41

although the nieces somehow dont spend on us!

LucyLasticKnickers Wed 25-Dec-13 09:19:31

tis difficult when they are differing ages.
i spose when the youngest is 18?

but i have got them token gifts, socks and smellies.

BikeRunSki Wed 25-Dec-13 08:53:41

I am not sure my uncles and aunts have ever given me a birthday or Christmas present, child or adult, apart from a cheque on my 18 from one uncle/aunt.

BikeRunSki Wed 25-Dec-13 08:52:19


Although if any of those who are not yet 18 leave school earlier and get a job, I will stop them. Anyone working, living at home and not paying childcare will have more disposable income than me!

feelinlucky Wed 25-Dec-13 08:46:26

I'm 43 and my auntie gave me £60 in a card and she stills sends me at Easter ��

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 08:44:17

I think I would be more generous if I hadn't had my own DCs?

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 08:38:33

21 for us.
My nieces are working and live at home. They have much more dispoible income than I do. I can't bring myself to hand over £20 when they've just spent £50 odd on their hair/ nails/ eyelashes and I'm scrabbling around or £20 to go to super cuts. <mean auntie>

80sMum Wed 25-Dec-13 02:39:24

We stop at 18 for nieces, nephews and friends' children.
The only over-18s I give presents/money to are DS and DD and their spouses, my DM, DMil and goddaughter.

If you don't have a cut-off point, things can get insanely expensive.

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