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My annual internal struggle with jazzy sprouts.

(144 Posts)
Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 15:45:22

Mental struggle.
Not gastrointestinal struggle.

Do I or do I not do jazzy sprouts?

I think it's probably a metaphor.

Please do NOT give me a recipe for your fabulous jazzy sprout recipe. It will only make it worse.

I would like someone to say they slaved away doing jazzy sprouts for years and years and years then one year thought 'fuck you fancy fucking sprouts' and went back to just plain old sprouts, and Christmas didn't become sad and grey and hollow for it.

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 15:46:37

Obv no sprouts is a step altogether too far.

I like a sprout with my bird.

gamerchick Tue 10-Dec-13 15:48:02

Well we have sprouts every week so jazzy is a must at Christmas grin

Well except this year.. we're getting curry a to night before to heat up. No cooking Christmas day.

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 15:48:25

Also. Unrelated to this issue, where has the button gone for unhiding topics? Why have they moved things about again?

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 15:48:58

Every week?!? Get away

Baconsarnie Tue 10-Dec-13 15:49:24

The term jazzy sprouts has just made my day. Thank you.

NotQuiteCockney Tue 10-Dec-13 15:52:23

I like 'em shredded and stir fried, in goose fat, with pancetta and garam masala. Is that what you mean?

DustyBaubles Tue 10-Dec-13 15:57:03

Don't mess with the sprouts!

Plain, unadulterated, sweet, slightly crunchy sprouts are the way to go.

Adding bacon is yuck, chestnuts look like little testicles, and butter is a pure abomination.

Take a Puritan stance OP fgrin

bundaberg Tue 10-Dec-13 15:58:58

i like mine plain!

ClausIsTrulyReal Tue 10-Dec-13 16:00:05

Bloodyell, did yiu just post a recipe, Cockers?

The SlubberSlump begins forthwith...

randomquicknamechange Tue 10-Dec-13 16:00:48

I am a sprout puritan. I tried doing them Nigella's way, Jamie's way and Hugh's way. They are stil just sprouts. Last year I returned to outer leaves off, cross the bottom and boil.
Jazzy sprouts are not worth the bother.

Grumpla Tue 10-Dec-13 16:02:13

Blimey. In my old glasses I thought you said "Jizzy Sprouts".


Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 16:04:24

NQC, yes, like that. Or with sour cream and nutmeg. Or prunes and Armagnac. Or stuffed with feta, or with a grating of lime and some weird looking bastarrd gnarled vegetable that only twatrose sells, or whatever else every single Christmas doody magazine tells me I should be doing with them, and I lemming like comply and then on the day I get fucking soured cream on my Nice New Top and bits of shitting pancetta fall all over the hob because Ive run out of knives and had to open the packet with my teeth and I just end up HATING THE LITTLE BASTARDS and become filled with regret that I wasn't strong enough to stand up to the jazzy sprout pressure.

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 16:05:16


Lol at doody

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 16:05:55

Yeah and don't think I noticed that stealth recipe in there.

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 16:07:12

Cross in the bottom is also a tricky one too isn't it?

GwendolineMaryLacey Tue 10-Dec-13 16:08:07

Look, clarify something for me here. Sprouts are vile, everyone knows it, right? The only way they are edible is to make them taste of something nicer, right? So what the figgy pudding is the point of cooking them at all because all you're doing is making them taste nothing like sprouts. So why cook sprouts??

clippityclop Tue 10-Dec-13 16:11:00

M&S do chocolate ones.

Slubberdegullion Tue 10-Dec-13 16:11:04

[the extreme eyebrow]

I like sprouts.

But it's a genetic thing isn't it. Like tongue rolling.

Aren't they meant to be a bit umami?

nemno Tue 10-Dec-13 16:11:24

Sprouts are lovely!

But the easiest way to make them Christmassy is to have chestnuts ready cooked and waiting to be bunged in with the sprouts at the last minute to heat through. Barely any extra effort.

DustyBaubles Tue 10-Dec-13 16:11:29

Sprouts are the best bit of Christmas dinner, well, along with stuffing!

And you can use PLAINLY COOKED ones in breakfast the next morning. Or brunch, depending in how your Christmas goes...

QueNoelle Tue 10-Dec-13 16:11:31

I get a lecture if I cross the bottom. It's just not worth it.

ShoeWhore Tue 10-Dec-13 16:13:39

grin at jazzy sprouts.

I've come to the conclusion that there's so much going on on that plate that jazzy sprouts are just a step too far.

A plain sprout is actually a nice counterpoint to all the richness imho.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 10-Dec-13 16:13:42

I like mine plain, but DH has to fanny around with everything that goes on the Christmas dinner table. If it isn't bacon, he'll add bacon to it.

QueNoelle Tue 10-Dec-13 16:14:04

And yes, unjazzy is essential because they are as fundamental component of Boxing Day bubble n squeak.

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