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Hundreds of wasted pounds

(80 Posts)
Pinkpinot Sat 23-Nov-13 08:42:36

I love Christmas
I love my family
But presents I buy just get wasted
Last year we bought some carefully thought out lunches/pamper day/ wine tasting
All of the offers expired
I found a bag, 6 months later, of little things that I had given my cousins in my mums. Been there since Christmas

I feel like I don't want to bother

JoinTheDots Sat 23-Nov-13 08:48:04

I can see how that would be really hurtful. Putting a lot of thought into something only to find out the people you brought for did not use the items. How about this year just getting something significantly cheaper, a bottle of wine and a Christmas cake? Or ask them if there was anything they were hoping for so you know they will like and want whatever you get them?

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO Sat 23-Nov-13 09:03:33

Pink I had this too but thankfully on DH family it wasnt £100 of pounds.

But still nice small things we found in cupboard at his mums.

Dont feel bad about this, look on this as a positive thing that will free you from chains and liberate you!

From now on, simple choclates, wine, nice bath stuff. Thats IT.

Think of all the £100 you will save for the rest of your life.

We have totally down graded all gifts now to family calander, and small box of chocs for cousins.

I used to sweat and slave and get into a panic buying for people I didnt know, and then they would open, briefly glance at it and that was it, then found in cupboard.

I really cannot express how liberating it is to be free of buying for people like that! Other pepole have also down graded and say its liberating too.

3bunnies Sat 23-Nov-13 09:12:12

We tend to just spend 5-10 on adult presents, then if they don't like them it's no biggie. I think that most adults buy things they want/need as they go along. It is gutting that the money has been wasted but see it as a chance to trim your present giving list.

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 23-Nov-13 09:13:55

Don't bother buying for adults or just do secret Santa and buy one gift

waikikamookau Sat 23-Nov-13 09:15:55

it is so disappointing isnt it.

waikikamookau Sat 23-Nov-13 09:17:03

wine is a good idea though.
chocs not so good for anorexic niece

Pinkpinot Sat 23-Nov-13 09:17:17

But they are my family and I do want to buy them nice things
It was probably £30-50 each, but adds up to hundreds iyswim.
In their defence they're just not very organised so they just never got round to doing it

If I ask them, they'll all say "oh don't get anything for us, just buy for the kids"

Kaekae Sat 23-Nov-13 09:17:48

I feel like this too. I feel like saying to everyone "keep you money and instead of buying stuff I don't need, buy yourself something you need and I'll do the same" But that's not what Christmas is about, so it is never going to happen.

Woldyhool Sat 23-Nov-13 09:17:52

Yes don't bother any more. Announce a present embargo this year - both ways.

Just buy for children - it works for us.

Got my mum a special cake last year because she doesn't like the presents I get her, or want them - she gave it to charity. I am nOT bothering again.

InTheRedCorner Sat 23-Nov-13 09:18:36

But them a charity gift like a chicken or a goat.

waikikamookau Sat 23-Nov-13 09:19:10

i made my relatives some dansom gin, but that perplexed them and i dont think my mum liked it, what a lot of effort, for a slap inthe face

JuneauWhoIAm Sat 23-Nov-13 09:19:30

I just stopped buying. (And requested that people don't buy for us either)
It gets ridiculous.

Woldyhool Sat 23-Nov-13 09:19:41

ikwym Pink but if that is what they say, take them at their word. If they don't want presents then don't buy them any.

Save your money in case one day they really need your help with something - you know, people have a crisis sometimes and don't refuse help then. You mean so well - that's my suggestion anyway

waikikamookau Sat 23-Nov-13 09:20:00

op buy them somethign that wont expire, if they are simply disorganised.

waikikamookau Sat 23-Nov-13 09:21:50

how about christmas gloves, socks, hats, at least they probably wear them for one day!

NoAddedSuga Sat 23-Nov-13 09:23:59


I didnt do christmas presents for years! I gave nice, personalised cards instead.

I didnt see the point in spending money that i didnt have, on things people wasnt going to use etc.

Yes i was called tight, scrooge etc, but to be honest i didnt give a shit. The ones calling me tight etc where the ones who never used the gifts i had bought.

Anyway, i have a child now, so obviously i spent on her, and i do buy a very small gift to anyone that buys her a present.

For two of the people who have got dd a xmas present this year i have got them a "pot of dreams" money box thing with a rhyme on the back that suited their interests the most.

£8 a pot.

Dont waste your money honestly

Yes, stop buying them, I would far rather have chocs or smellies than experiences or stuff that I haven't got house room for, I'm afraid I have let experiences go without doing them in the past and taken gifts to charity shops in Jan, I feel terrible about it but just wish the givers would listen when I say I really don't want much, or just vouchers.

NoelOfLorst Sat 23-Nov-13 09:31:42

I also have let 'experience' vouchers expire in the past, tbh they're often a faff to organise, and/or ending up costing you

I'm always grateful, but I'd rather the giver didn't waste their money.

Agree with everyone else, stop doing it and just stick to cards, or token gifts. No one will mind

Pinkpinot Sat 23-Nov-13 09:34:58

They weren't really 'experience' as such
One was massage vouchers for local place
One was whisky tasting-in bar that they know
One was lunch in Claridges- sad
Not- silverstone/air balloon rides

Pinkpinot Sat 23-Nov-13 09:35:54

Right- vouchers it is then
I'd love it if people bought me vouchers

Pennythedog Sat 23-Nov-13 09:36:07

Well, if they say don't buy for them then don't buy for them. I agree that a bottle of wine or box of chocolates is fine if you really must.

I wouldn't really be interested in a pamper day or wine tasting either to be honest.

NoelOfLorst Sat 23-Nov-13 09:37:16

No I guessed sorry, I just meant 'experience' as in something to do, rather than something to buy.

No balloon rides or F1 days here either! Ours have been nights away, spa packages, cookery things. Never got round to them.

Pennythedog Sat 23-Nov-13 09:37:18

Crossed posts. Vouchers are probably more practical.

Belize Sat 23-Nov-13 09:37:36

Trouble with spa days, vouchers etc is that you need to organise it and find a day to do it. Also spa's etc aren't really everybody's thing and if you have to take a day off to do it then you probably won't.

I would stick to nice cashmere gloves, scarf, whatever if you want to give something nice that will probably get used and appreciated without any effort on behalf of the person receiving it.

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