Anyone else's DCs basically share every present?(22 Posts)
mine are 4 and 7 and share a room. they have had joint presents, last year it was a telly.. they share a room so pointless buying to.
this year iv got spiderman lazer tag.. it comes with two gun and two vest.. agagin pointless buying two but it makes it cheaper if they have it as a joint present, its also something they both would play with.
though they both want minecraft toys and i am going to have to buy them one each as the argumeants/resentment will not be worth it.
Ours play like yours and are close in age too but they get presents separately. We encourage a sharing policy anyway so everyone plays with everything anyway.
I have twin DSDs too. Have always got them individual presents apart from the odd board game etc to share. But they have always had totally different interests. They are so different in fact you wouldn't even think they were related let alone twins!
Still haven't figured out what to get DS. Apart from a jigsaw as he loves them but DD doesn't.
I have twins. Officially they get individual presents, apart from the odd family game and the odd one off like trampoline. In reality most stuff is shared. They like it that way -stuff which is officially their own but knowing that really they have twice as much stuff to pay with (or now they are older twice as many clothes to choose from). We do get the odd argument when they both prefer the same thing, but we have developed tactics for that over the years.
Now is it bad to admit that at age 9 they still share knickers because DH and I (well, DH really as he does most of the laundry but none of the clothes shopping) could never remember whose is whose. He reckons once they are of enough to object they will be old enough to sort their own clothes!
Mine always share presents from us, but they are also really close in age, still young (4&3) and into the same stuff. They get other individual presents from family too, I don't think they feel they miss out (so far!)
When my DDs were younger, they shared a bedroom and pretty much shared all their toys. So we had a barbie box, a Polly pocket box of toys etc.
However, the toys were given to a particular child, and the child who had the toy was always allowed the first go with it, and then they shared.
Now, they're older, they have their own rooms and like different toys. They still share a lot of stuff, but having the "first go" with something is incredibly important to them.
I have 3 DDs. I find DD1 really easy to buy for as she is always wanting the next age toys etc. I always try to get something for DD2 which she'll love but DD1 will get use out of too if that makes sense as they tend to play with each others stuff anyway. DD2 always wants what DD1 has so older toys than her age.
DD3 is 1 next month and at the moment just enjoys making a mess!!!!!
My DSes are also 6 and 4 and both into the same stuff. Big presents are always shared and tbh I expect them to share everything except their most precious toys, even if technically they 'belong' to one or another.
At Xmas what usually happens is we get them medium-sized similar presents eg they get a (different) Lego set each, a Playmobil set each, some books each, etc. so there are plenty of presents for each to open. But it all then gets put in the communal Lego box / Playmobil box / bookshelf etc.
Hmm. My SIL does this. She'll say "oh get xxxx for DS1, because DS2 will enjoy it too". Both she and her DH were second children, and neither seem to realise how irritating it is to be the older child and never get stuff that your contemporaries have, just because your younger sibling isn't old enough yet. (Bitter elder sibling here!!).
So if they're really tiny, then fine, but don't do that to your older DC long-term.
(Sorry got Repetitive Posting Syndrome now )
I've thought of what to give DD individually, no idea for DS though - everything but the Santa stuff is from us basically (my parents give money for us to choose). She is really in love with a particular playmobil thing so that's easy (DS will love it too, but I totally get the point about labelling some individually)
This is all new to me, I was an only child.
They do get a stocking each BTW - that plus one main present (this year playmobil pyramid) is from Santa.
Thanks for all the insight, positive and negative is very useful.
This is the first year I've struggled to think of individual presents - last year DD was in yr1 and DS was still a little preschooler, so was playing on a different level and had different play 'needs' if that makes sense - but now he's caught up in terms of imaginative play, dexterity for stuff like Lego and Hama beads, so they can do virtually all the same stuff.
I really take your point about not feeling ownership - that's why I was posting really, as I was worried there would be a downside. So thanks for the feedback and I'll put some thought into what will be individual presents
I was worried about that Pist
Tis purely luck though I think.
I will do this with a few presents, but I would have felt rather miffed if I woke up as a child and had no presents of my own (and I wouldn't have felt very kindly towards Father Christmas!)
So although some things will be shared gifts, there will be a lot that is labelled individually - even though they will play with it together.
Ours get some shared presents but for different reasons - because they bicker over which one was theirs. If it was a joint present I can happily say that it belongs to all of them so must be shared / take turns. If it was given to x but y is playing really nicely with it then x might come along and demand it back even if previously they hadn't touched it for 6 months. Mine probably only get a few presents like this but it saves arguements. Another strategy I have is to give similar presents to each of them. Enjoy the lack of sibling rivalry (mine aren't too bad usually).
Coming from the other side, my husbands family did things like this. All brothers shared toys and he never really had any of his own. He never had the chance or opportunity to want to look after something all of his own and the effects of this are obvious now.
When we first moved in together, he wouldn't look after our things. Losing them, or leaving outside, or even dumping things that were fine (grrrrr). He never had that sense of responsibility of caring for something.
Gradually he has got better but I would like our children to have some sense of ownership. Even if you know the toys should be played together, assign them to separate children. Then they can each look after that one, know where it is, be the on etc put it away, etc.
I think some readers may suspect this of being a stealth boast!
Well done to have children who you can confidently give almost all shared presents to!
No, if I had 2 DC who obviously enjoyed each other's company that much; I'd be doing that too. And revelling in it!
We're doing this, although they will still get quite a few individual presents.
DS will be 2.10 and DD 19 months at Christmas, and we have got them a load of Happyland stuff to share.
So will the labels read DD and DS or will some be DD and others DS?
All the stuff we've got/are planning to get them are for both of them. Except for one dress up outfit each (DD is in love with some dresses in TK Maxx, and DS loves Fix It Felix so I'm attempting to make a costume...) - stuff like playmobil/lego will be labelled as for DS and DD. Although they will get underwear and jammies separately too. Possibly a couple of sticker/colouring books. Stories get read together anyway.
Is this a bit odd? They do play together most of the time (DD is 6 DS is 4) but I actually can't think of anything individual for them. There won't be any toys to call theirs IYSWIM. Or do I just count my blessings while they last, in that it makes things a bit cheaper/less cluttered?!
(They do fight
like rabid animals too BTW so not smug about perfect sibling bond )
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