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Ahem. It's the 25th September, which means....

(643 Posts)
FellatioNelson Tue 24-Sep-13 06:17:15

That I hereby declare the Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread Part 4 open for business.

For those of you who do not know WTF I am on about, read this from 2010 by way of explanation:

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

If you want to read the previous three threads for Christmas 2010, 2011 and 2012 search my name in the Christmas topic.

In the words of the great Mike Reid from Runaround, G-G-G-G-G- GO!

HerrenaHarridan Wed 18-Dec-13 22:41:53

Oh and my favourite poncetastic idea this year is... Printing pictures of dd (2yo) to stick on gift tags so she can recognise her own presents smile

HerrenaHarridan Wed 18-Dec-13 22:05:19

And simmering my red cabbage smile

HerrenaHarridan Wed 18-Dec-13 22:03:09

How's everyone's poncetastic Christmas preparations going?

I'm currently wrapping presents and making cranberry sauce smile

Rubybrazilianwax Sun 01-Dec-13 09:37:52

Making your own cheese does sound like the very extremes of poncetasticness! grin I wouldnt know where to start myself but you might as well give it a go

WaitingForMe Sat 30-Nov-13 21:36:58

Thanks for the tip Ruby!

This evening I wrapped my (fake) foliage up the stair banister and added lights, baubles, homemade decorations and an advent garland. Looks lovely.

Then I completely stripped the tree I decorated last night because the bulbs died and DH has bought more. Can't face adding new lights and am getting a bit bored of it all. I suppose it's a good thing we're having the party, otherwise I'd probably let it drag for a week.

Looking forward would it be mad to try and make my own cheese and crackers for Christmas? I have the Lakeland cheese book but have never tried it before.

Rubybrazilianwax Sat 30-Nov-13 20:14:00

Ponceyness is definitely lulled a bit! But quite a bit of my ponceyness will be my decorating and wrapping/general gift assembly.
I have taken a notion to make some sort of cake stand something like these , for the kitchen table.
Waitingforme, pick a tin of gloss spray up in a florists and it will keep your greenery looking lush

CakeIsyourFriend Sat 30-Nov-13 19:10:25

I've just made homemade mincemeat for the first time. I am dubious about the amount of suet in it. We shall see...

Impressed with the poncestastic day waiting smile

WaitingForMe Sat 30-Nov-13 17:56:14

2-3 days?

I had an epic day. I did a Christmas craft workshop and made a wreath and a centrepiece (will just replace the greenery as needed. They look amazing if I do say so myself.

First party is tomorrow and I just pulled a golden cake out of the freezer to defrost. So effortless wink

I'm very on the ball with organisation this year but can't shake the feeling I'm missing something really obvious. Hmm...

CakeIsyourFriend Thu 28-Nov-13 19:57:13

Ok, you poncetastic ladies, a question for you.

How long do you reckon this will last...

Christmas decoration

MooseyMoo Thu 28-Nov-13 10:58:15

Thanks * Double*. Thought it sounded like they were being ironed too!

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts Thu 28-Nov-13 08:51:06

Hot press = airing cupboard btw, usually said by those living in Ireland smile I think it sounds nice but makes me think of ironing rather than airing!

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts Thu 28-Nov-13 08:49:40

I am waiting for felting needlIng equipment to come in the post, I thought I'd try and make some cute little characters for stockings. Originally I was searching for a way to make the Pontipines from ITNG as you can't buy them, but I've realised that I'll never get it done before Christmas as there are so many of the little blighters.

CakeIsyourFriend Thu 28-Nov-13 06:50:05

Bless you supremerulersmum! I am only a quarter of the way into the thread and I've already had to stop reading long enough to place an ocado order with the extra ingredients I need for homemade mincemeat grin

TheFutureSupremeRulersMum Thu 28-Nov-13 05:58:59

bumping for CakeisyourFriend

MooseyMoo Tue 26-Nov-13 16:34:29

Ooh ruby that sounds lovely. Silly question... What's a hot press? I think I will try scenting some pinecones

I've made:

Never Ending Vanilla Essence
Pickled onions
Mincemeat (Delia's receipe)

WaitingForMe Tue 26-Nov-13 15:35:08

This year doesn't feel very poncy! We could do with a project like they have in S&B and in the diet forums.

Something like a craft, a bake and a buy for each of the next four weekends?

OwlBeThereForYou Thu 21-Nov-13 09:38:30

Still trying to sort out what I want to do for our wreath, more fresh holly and foliage or more ribbon and decorations. Need to sort that soon! Getting the fruit soaking started today ready for stir up Sunday...I know you could really start them a lot sooner for maturing, but I can't help but love having a traditional day for baking!
Also started writing Christmas cards, determined to have them posted ready for the beginning of December

Rubybrazilianwax Sun 17-Nov-13 10:07:28

Had a sniff of my pinecones in cinnamon oil in the hot press and they smell fab. [happy]

Rubybrazilianwax Sun 17-Nov-13 10:06:23

I have always been a wee bit disappointed by Kirsty's books. They look pretty but don't tell you anything you can't find on Pinterest now. leesmum eBay is always a good bet for ribbon I find

WaitingForMe Sat 16-Nov-13 20:26:41

I ordered Kirstie's Christmas book. It is the most absurd thing I have ever read. It would be a full time job if you made and wrapped gifts the way she seems to think is possible!

Lovely stuff but bonkers even by my standard!

2kidsintow Sat 16-Nov-13 19:42:26

I have a feeling I'm going to have to make my Christmas cakes from scratch this year, so that will be tomorrow's job. For the last couple of years I've made them using the Mary Berry box kits from Tesco. And have usually then made another set in the new year (one for us and one for my fruit-cake loving Dad) using kits that were reduced to about £3 after Christmas.
No kits around, so now searching for a trustworthy cake recipe.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sat 16-Nov-13 18:43:33

Bumping for 2kidsintow

leesmum Thu 14-Nov-13 17:55:32

Im wanting to re-do my wreath and garland for over my front door and need some red and white ribbon, can any of you lovely ladies point me in the right direction for a good online shop, I don't really want to be paying £££'s for delivery when I only really want a couple of metres to make into bows, thanks smile

Rubybrazilianwax Thu 14-Nov-13 12:09:19

waitingforme your wrapping sounds epic! (As my dc would say) it will be worth all the effort in the end!

WaitingForMe Tue 12-Nov-13 09:01:07

I made two Christmas cakes at the weekend. Black cake (Nigella's Domestic Goddess) with fruit I'd been soaking for 6 weeks and homemade vanilla extract and Golden cake (Nigella's Christmas) with my honey spiced rum (made in July) instead of white rum. I felt utterly poncetastic using homemade ingredients. DH accused me of emotional abuse when I wrapped them up and wouldn't let him start one grin

I've got seven different wrapping papers this year. Each child has their own, one for adults and one for stockings. One for boys and one for girls for table presents. I started wrapping last week and two hours later was about 50% through without any tags or embellishments done! So glad I started early. Everything is red, free and natural (brown paper, string) except for Santa who is going for purple, silver and black. It'll be lovely but I copied the poster who was printing luggage tags and I have stamps, ink and am starting to realise what a big project this is!

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