The annual Christmas faff

[ChickenLickenSticken]

We have 3 sets of parents to accommodate (mine are divorced).

Every year we upset someone usually my mum because we struggle to fit them all in. We end stretching Christmas out to the 28th/29th Dec and have 3 Christmas dinners with varying amounts of gusto from the parents. This might sound good to some of you but DH both work lots, and spend the rest of the year and most of my adult life actually trying to spend fair and equal time with them all so come Christmas and the fact that DD has a December birthday, we are pooped and want to spend time together rather than running around trying to please everyone.

It used to be fiddly but now DD (she'll be 2 by then) is here too it's even worse.

Christmas has become the elephant in the room; no one wants to mention it...

DH and I have toyed with the idea of inviting everyone here, stepfamilies and all but there are some sensitivities and politics, not to mention other arrangements that might make that tricky. Plus I'm kind of loathed for that to be the only option as I fear we could end up having to host every year!

Alternating years would probably work if there were two sets but with three sets three years seems a bit much.

Having the day with just me, DH and DD is ok but not vastly different from a normal weekend day plus I feel sad st the thought of my parents eating Christmas dinner alone (albeit in couples) and I know they don't love it either.

I know a lot of this is throwbacks from feeling (unnessarily) guilty as a kid for having to split Christmas between parents but don't want DD growing up hating and dreading Christmas like I do did.

What the bloody hell do we do?

[Rosvita]

Just have Christmas Day by yoursleves and see relatives Christmas Eve/boxing day - then noone feels left out as you a re not seeing one over the other on the day itself.

[ChickenLickenSticken]

Ps. Apologies for bringing this topic down! DH and I are trying to create our own traditions - we did the elf last year who arrives the day after dd's birthday and tells us to get our tree sorted the following weekend. I'll do a Christmas eve hamper this year too and dd might be old enough to watch some good Christmas telly (ie the snowman). I think she's too little for panto.

So I am trying. It's just how to keep the parents happy but without doing it at our expense!!

[Shinyshoes1]

Can't they all come for christmas day tea ? Do a Buffett or something

You have 3 choices

Invite them all forget the politics they are adults and should be able to control themselves for one day

Invite none round

Do as you've been doing and have Christmas over 3 days

[ChickenLickenSticken]

Problem is they all want "everyone together on just one day" so we could see my mum and stepdad on Christmas Eve, day and Boxing Day, but if my stepsisters aren't there too then they'll want to schedule a day where we're all together. I get that. I get that it's not often we're in the same room at the same time but when you've got that pressure request coming from three sides, it's draining.

[ChickenLickenSticken]

shiny I think that's what it'll end up being. Though I suspect my stepsisters are locked in to arrangements with their mum and her husband or their in-laws so we may do all that then need to go down the dreaded "everyone in one place" route and having another "Christmas day" on something ridiculous like the 30th.