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At what age do you stop sending cheques to grown up DNs?

(24 Posts)
ThisIsMummyPig Thu 06-Dec-12 21:15:14

My DH has 5 nieces and nephews aging from 28 down to 19.

We stopped putting a cheque in for the 28yo a couple of years ago, when it became apparent she earned more than both of us put together.

The next is aged 23, and she got £25 last year. Her sister is 19. I am of the opinion you can't send a cheque to one sister and not the other, but the 23yo is working, and lives with her parents, so has few outgoings. She is in the process of buying a BMW.

The others are aged 20 and 22, but are still students, so we would send them something.

Just wondering when you stop sending money. We haven't actually seen them at Christmas for about 8 years, so are unlikely to buy them actual presents.

Chottie Thu 06-Dec-12 21:22:55

I think I would send a Christmas card to all, but only give the students children some money.

rufusnine Thu 06-Dec-12 21:26:01

I have millions quite a few nephews,nieces, great nephews, great nieces and now a great great niece. We stop once they get a full time job! Luckily for them and us! they have all managed to gain full time employment so now we just send a card!

rufusnine Thu 06-Dec-12 21:31:02

Obviously I mean all the oldest ones don't get money of presents!! the great great niece is not in full time work - shes only 5!!! She still gets a present along with some of the delinquent teenage great nieces and nephews who get money and a selection box!!

DorsetKnobwithJingleBellsOn Thu 06-Dec-12 21:32:20

I have a deal with one of my brothers, 18 except for the eldest who is my Godson so 21.

exoticfruits Thu 06-Dec-12 21:38:59

Quite a few years ago we stopped buying for adults, other than the elderly, and so it is very simple and we stop at 18yrs.

Ponders Thu 06-Dec-12 21:39:39

in my family we cut off after 21 (regardless of siblings - it's the same for all) but DH's DSis, who is incredibly generous, still gives presents to all of ours - we have 4, she only has one, & our eldest is now 30 shock

I have great-nieces & -nephews now & the eldest is only 7 so I have started again with them, obv smile (buying presents for little ones is fun)

FriskyMarkCavendish Thu 06-Dec-12 21:44:30

21 - My eldest DN was 21 in january and I told him then it would be his last present (otherwise where does it stop),although I will probably get him a box of chocs until his siblings reach the same age. Youngest DN is 15 months so a long time to go on that one.

ChristmasCountdown Thu 06-Dec-12 21:45:56

I don't have any grown up DN's, but DH's Aunt gives us both cash or vouchers every Christmas and birthday! She really doesn't need to, but it is a nice treat grin DH doesn't have a big family, and I'm sure his mum still buys for his cousins too.

CMOTDibbler Thu 06-Dec-12 21:47:34

When they finish uni/leave education. Oldest of mine is 21, so another year for her after this

ThisIsMummyPig Thu 06-Dec-12 21:51:20

Maybe we need to start cutting them out then. It's just that their parents buy for our children (aged 4 and 2). I also have fond memories of cheques from my Grandma until she died, when I really didn't need the money, but I did always get a proper treat with it.

Thank you all

IWipeArses Thu 06-Dec-12 21:53:41

I started buying a Waterstones Voucher for my two young cousins. I know full well the 14 year old lad sells his to his sister. I'm going to carry on because it's funny. :-D

I've never bought for cousins I never see though, and only have the one DN who we see regularly.
I imagine it would depend on who else in the family you bought for. Surely if you bought for your sister, you'd buy for her children?

bubbles1231 Thu 06-Dec-12 21:54:45

21 is the deal in our family

Ponders Thu 06-Dec-12 22:09:06

oh, presents from GPs are different, MummyPig smile

my MIL has 5 grown-up grandchildren & gives them all cash (cash cash, not a cheque) for both Christmas & birthdays - they appreciate it hugely!

FredWorms Thu 06-Dec-12 22:43:54


MincePiesAddict Thu 06-Dec-12 23:08:37

DH in his forties, works f/t, still gets £10 from each of his aunts in his birthday card / Christmas! I think it's sweet. But I think the 18/21 limits are better for most people, especially if you have loads of DNs.

OpheliaBumps Thu 06-Dec-12 23:15:09

I only have 2 nieces and 1 nephew, and no chance of any more, so I still give them all a gift (money for the 2 oldest, gift for the youngest as she's only 12). 2 oldest are 34 and 32, but they do still appreciate the cash!

bedmonster Thu 06-Dec-12 23:31:05

DP and I have 14 nieces combined, ranging from 3 months all the way up to 23 and we buy for all of them still. It's about the giving, not their ages for us.

Ponders Thu 06-Dec-12 23:35:03

my eldest DN is nearly 39, earns more than us, has a house worth more than ours, & has 2 children (who I do buy for) - I draw the line at giving her money grin

GrimmaTheNome Thu 06-Dec-12 23:36:38

I stopped at 18 for the older batch; there's a couple more in their first two years at uni who I'll probably send to for a bit longer .

loubielou31 Thu 06-Dec-12 23:44:02

We had a family cut off of 21 for gifts from Aunts and Uncles.
21 was quite a big coming of age type celebration in out family with a big celebration so it made sense for us. Other friends stopped at 18.

i dont have true nieces or nephews, but as far as i am concerned my 2 best friends 56 children are my nieces and nephews so all get a gift from me. the eldest is just 9 so ages yet until i stop, and the youngest is 5 weeks. i spend £10-15 each on them.

Ponders Thu 06-Dec-12 23:59:51

56 children? shock

rufusnine Sat 08-Dec-12 00:09:28

Not just 56 children - 56 children under 9! I'm going for a lie down!

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