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Christmas

Christmas visiting!

4 replies

EricNorthmansFangBanger · 03/12/2012 10:12

So this year we are FINALLY spending Christmas at home with just me, DH, DD1 and DD2. I'm pregnant with DC3 and due in February so this will be nice to be in our own house too. In years gone by, we have spent Christmas with family. Usually a few days with my parents, including Christmas day then a few days with DH's parents from Boxing day. This usually involves us being away for around 2 weeks. It ends up being very trying as well as tiring and we're always glad to get home.

Our parents don't live close by, but it takes them about an hour to get here. We have agreed that Christmas day and boxing day are strictly no visiting and have told our parents this. PIL said fine and as they are having visitors themselves, they may not visit until 29th or 30th. When I told my parents, my mum said 'no..we'll come see our grandchildren if we want' in a half jokey way. I told her that they could come but I wouldn't be opening the door at all. So far they've not mentioned which day they're coming on.

The problem I have is this: dd1 stayed with them at the weekend, when my dad brought her back he was telling her they'd see her at Christmas and maybe stay over at a hotel Hmm. I had mentioned a one day visit only, as I know they'll be up around new year too. I am not keen on this happening as my parents have 3 foster children, as well as my brother, and our house is simply too small to accommodate everyone. I will just about have the energy for one visit, nevermind two in a row. My parents visiting makes me on edge for various reasons anyway, I'm currently suffering from depression and I just want one christmas where we are spending it as just us. I think I'm also expected to cook a meal when they visit, which wouldn't be too much of a problem I suppose but we hardly have much money as it is and I'm not wanting to be cooking for 10 people, as well as us not having the room to seat everyone to eat.

I know I must sound awful, but I was really looking forward to having a quiet Christmas, with one visit from either side. Am I being really harsh? How do I deal with this?

TIA Thanks

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dreamingofsun · 03/12/2012 10:56

why don't you visit them? seems a bit unreasonable to expect your parents to be happy not seeing their grandkids and you live pretty near. that way you don't have all the prep work and you can leave when you get tierd. maybe you could arrange to see them on boxing day as its practically still christmas.

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EricNorthmansFangBanger · 03/12/2012 14:15

We would visit them but neither of us can drive yet. I don't want to try mess with trains with a 17 month old and a 4 year old and that's pretty much a 2 hour journey plus I'm not sure whether they're running. This is why we usually stay over as it's just easier, but neither of us are feeling up to it this year and we really want to have this Christmas as just us four before DC3 arrives in February.

The other thing is that this is the first Christmas the foster children have spent with my parents and will be the first they've spent in care. I don't want the focus to be on my DDs iyswim? It's probably the first proper Christmas these children have had in a long time, if ever.

They will see them, just preferably on 27th.

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Valdeeves · 03/12/2012 17:23

I think you are being ok - it's alright to just have a quiet Xmas sometimes.

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We3bunniesOfOrientAre · 03/12/2012 17:59

I think your plans sound fine, afterall as you say the foster children might not have had a good Christmas for a while if ever. I would encourage them to focus on their children, it's not as if they will be sitting alone at home around a candle and a Bernard Matthews breaded turkey escalope.

Why not be proavctive and set a date to invite them round, you know they will turn up at some point anyway. Maybe say why don't they come 27th and have a buffet lunch of leftovers .

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