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DS and Father Christmas (careful thread title for obvious reasons)

(21 Posts)
AudrinaAdare Wed 21-Nov-12 11:46:03

grin at what was actually discussed at the Year Six Residential!

DS is five, autistic and I'm not sure he even gets Santa. He was demanding something the other day and wouldn't have it that elves would make it and bring it via Santa on Christmas Eve because it was right there on the shelf. When you think about it, it's quite logical.

Glad you're reassured. Your DS is still quite young smile

silverfrog Wed 21-Nov-12 11:45:16

I can't help much on tis, as I don't think my girls (8, with severe ASD, and 5 and probably on the spectrum) beleive. They believe in the presents, thoughgrin, but seriously I don't think they are fooled by the red man in a suit flying around on Christmas eve bit.

What I came on here to say was: please do take your ds to see Santa if hewants to go. It doesn't matter that he will be the oldest/biggest one there (which I don't think will be the case anyway). if he will enjoy it, take him (said as the parent of an 8 year old, who I am planning to take to a toddler signing/singing class - not for the first time! - as a treat because she loves it so much). bollocks to what others think - what you and your ds enjoy is what matters.

notwoo Wed 21-Nov-12 11:38:55

Oh leave him to beleive for a few more years and then reassess before he goes to secondary school.

Does he he have an older cousin or something who could be prevailed upon to tell him the truth gently when the time comes?

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Wed 21-Nov-12 11:34:39

LaCiccolina: I'd be far more likely to correct him if he wanted to believe in gods, because religion is harmful nonsense. I only worry about other people to the extent that I don't want DS teased or 'put straight' by others who can't keep their beaks out, so it's reassuring that he's still of an age where it's fairly reasonable to believe.

legalalien Tue 20-Nov-12 11:55:59

Ds is wavering. I've also always told him that the dressed up ones in stores etc are just actors and last year I might just have told him that as a result of population growth FC had been forced to outsource delivery to ups and dhl to get around DSs scepticism about the logistics of delivery by sleigh

LaCiccolina Tue 20-Nov-12 11:39:20

I really don't see this as anyone else's business? Why do u?

If he wants to believe At 20 surely it's his belief? U wouldn't b worried in him believing in a god would u?

Especially if it turns out he has some autism why can't he? A friends daughter is downs. She's believed all her life and at 54 isn't wavering. Ill b taking her to FC again this year.

Have fun with it. It's rather refreshing I find.

accessorieshelp Tue 20-Nov-12 11:35:08

Idon't think 8 is too old at all. I (rightly or wrongly) say to DD (5) that the father christmases you see in shops/school fete is just someone dressed up as them & that the real one lives in the north pole & only visits on Christmas Eve because he is too busy preparing for Christmas the rest of the time.

Marne Tue 20-Nov-12 11:33:58

I have 2 dd's on the spectrum, dd1 is 8 and still believes even though her friends say 'he's not real', dd2 is 6 and does not believe (her asd is more severe), she hates the thought of a man coming into the house at night so she knows 'mummy brings the presents'.

Princessishavingababyboo Tue 20-Nov-12 11:30:45

My ds is deaf/blind and has therefore missed out on a lot of the social, interactive, imaginative formation in his younger years. Basically if you tell him something is real then it is real until you tell him otherwise and explain why, he can't or has no interest in processing other ideas, so when he learnt about Santa that was it, Santa was real, Santa stayed real if had no reason to query it and no inclination/ability to put 2 and 2 together when faced with evidence that perhaps Santa was not real so if remained real. We told him the truth before he went to secondary school (to avoid bullying) it did him no harm, he enjoyed Christmas and now helps his little brother enjoy it.

TeeBee Tue 20-Nov-12 11:07:45

We watched Authur Christmas last year, and I thought the content could be hijacked a bit. I said to my DS1 (aged 9) that Santa is about the magic of Christmas and it doesn't matter who Santa is, so long as someone is (i.e. that might be a man in a red suit, or someone in your house), so long as someone spreads good cheer, ensures everyone has a magical time and brings presents. The day they say they definitely don't believe, they will be santa that year - and they WILL be wearing a santa outfit.

DewDr0p Tue 20-Nov-12 11:07:13

Sorry meant to add I think believing at 8 is totally great and fine and pretty normal and common. Most of ds's friends seem to still believe.

Let him enjoy it for now.

OhTheConfusion Tue 20-Nov-12 10:49:26

Well our 10yr old (who dosn't believe) and our 8yr old (who does) will be visiting father christmas this year along with DD2 15mths... come with us!
DS is a really tall 10yr old too!

DewDr0p Tue 20-Nov-12 10:33:40

I would love it if my 8 year old still believed sad but as it is he seems to have worked it out for himself.

I heard him asking his much more streetwise friend "do you still believe in FC?" and friend replied "well of course!"

Neighbour's daughter is still pretending this year in Yr6 although friend suspects she started having doubts last year.

stilllearnin Tue 20-Nov-12 10:10:16

My partner told my children that there is no Santa from the off - (thanks!!) - because he doesn't want to lie to them. But my very sensible 8 year old says she wants to believe its real this Christmas.

So I would say, OP, 8 is still acceptable by most kids' standards to believe but it will be worth thinking about for future years. If your son is logical he could counter any children telling him its not true by saying how would you know - or would this just tangle him up in knots.

The magic of Christmas is that around 99% of people want it to be true and MrsCantSayAnything actually knows its true - that's good enough for me!!

PS my friend goes to great lengths to make sure her children believe but broke it to them before the Year 6 residential trip in case someone told them. What they actually discussed on the residential was what lesbians get up to between the sheets! She needn't have worried!!

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Tue 20-Nov-12 10:08:00

THanks all. I think what I really wanted was reassurance that plenty of 8 year olds do still believe, partly because my mum was going, oh we can't take him to see a FC this year, he'll be the biggest kid there...

Longtalljosie Tue 20-Nov-12 04:11:00

Whatever you do - don't do it until after Christmas...

Wiggy29 Tue 20-Nov-12 04:06:42

Ditto, my 8 yr old had a wobble last year after older friend said about him not being real/ mum buying presents but all forgotten in build up. I have a feeling this year may be the last so just relishing every moment while trying not to expose him to anything that will make him question it (e.g. like the truly horrendous fc we saw last year with the worst fake beard EVER and his Nike Air trainers sticking out the bottom of his robe- cringe).

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 20-Nov-12 00:02:32

I suspect mine has had some doubt but has quashed it. Good, the world is scary and ugly enough without squeezing the joy out of Christmas for an 8 year old.

Pourquoimoi Tue 20-Nov-12 00:00:13

My 8yo is beginning to waver, but still beloved I think. I know most of his friends still believe. This is a lot later than DS1's peer group.

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 19-Nov-12 23:57:07

My DD is 8 too and she still believes! They're EIGHT! It's fine. He will grow out of it soon. A quick poll that I recently did in DDs school, proved that they all seem to believe still.

He is real anyway. I maintain that this is my defence if my children ever doubt and I will stand by that...the truth...until I die.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Mon 19-Nov-12 21:43:03

DS is 8. He is also, I strongly suspect (and waiting to start tests/assessments etc) on the autism spectrum. As far as I can tell, he still believes in Father Christmas.
I really don't want to be the one who actually sits him down and tells him - I have never minded him believing as Father Christmas is a pretty harmless myth that I previously expected he would grow out of in his own time, as most DC do. But nor do I want him to get teased or have some arsehole go 'You're too big to believe in Father Christmas.'

Anyone got any tips?

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