Advanced search

My Dads last Christmas

(32 Posts)
myBOYSareBONKERS Sun 04-Nov-12 10:16:16

My Dad has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis and barely a year to live, so realistically this will be the last Christmas he is with us. Therefore it has got to be the best ever!!!

Could I have some ideas of presents and things to do to make it a fun and festive time for us all.

TiredMule Tue 11-Dec-12 20:14:34

I'm so sorry bonkers. My dmil was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer in March and was told she would not be here for Christmas. She's still here, so we are hopeful to have Christmas with her. I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to make it special, but to be honest as long as everyone is there, and the children are happy and excited, that will make the day the most special. Take lots of photos and videos, maybe the children could make a Christmas decoration with him to keep. Bring it forward if you need to. I'm so sorry, this is an especially bad time of year to be going through this (((hugs)))

almondfinger Tue 11-Dec-12 20:27:22

Oh, you poor, poor thing. My dad had a couple of last Christmas's too. I remember the last as he cooked us a gorgeous meal and my sister and I got to help him. We played board games by the fire and he got to watch 2 of his grandchildren play. We usually fought like cat and dog at Christmas (the whole family) so this peaceful Christmas was v special.

My heart goes out to you. That terminal diagnoses is the worst thing that can happen to any family and at this time of year it's a every worse I think. Enjoy the time you have left with him and make sure he knows how much you all love him.

CarnivorousPanda Tue 11-Dec-12 21:32:11

Bonkers sorry to hear your news. We were in a similar situation a few years ago with FIL.

I think just to spend time together as a family and be guided by what your dad wants/is able to do is the best way. I do think when time is suddenly short, the important thing is just to be together and make the most of what time you do have.

ImaginateMum Tue 11-Dec-12 22:09:11

Does he still have the energy to read stories? Lots of time snuggled up while he read might be nice. Or if he doesn't, you could read and they could all listen.

If he can still get through a story, it might be nice to record him? Then they can play that back in future and listen along.

DraggingDownDownDown Sun 08-Mar-15 09:25:23


incase anyone remembers this.

Dad did make Christmas and in a pretty good condition too. We had a lovely day all together. I think he was holding on for it as he rapidly declined after that and died peacefully mid January.

I feel so very very lucky to have had a last Christmas with him and for him to have been in a good way for it.

Love you Dad x

SurprisedJerseySpud Sun 08-Mar-15 18:18:24

I'm glad you had a lovely day that Christmas xx

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 08-Mar-15 19:31:42

Christmas is such a poignant time for many people. Babies are born and people die all year but when it happens at Christmas it means every year after is different, things can never be the same.

Seems like your Dad did his tooth'n'claw best to be there with you all and you were gifted those happy and cherished memories.
So now, you raise a glass to him and have those long family chats about "d'you remember when he used to..."

At work you no doubt meet loads of people who have lost loved ones at Christmas ( lots of my patients are of the I hate's too commercialised ilk) I just say "It's a difficult time for alot of people" and leave it at that.

(Mostly though they just want a whinge about money and how 'American' it is becoming and think everyone should agree with them but I love Christmas so I don't take the bait)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now