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A Christmas AIBU re people stepping on my toes ....

(17 Posts)
KrassKim Wed 31-Oct-12 20:08:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorisIsWaiting Wed 31-Oct-12 20:31:30

Just tell PIL to return theirs. Put your foot down you surely can not have the room to store 2 prams and 2 same age bikes etc.

Theiy're not just stepping on your toes, they are taking the piss.

Ask them kindly to ask you first before they buy and you can advise accordingly.

Even better the conversation should come from your dh. (and before he wimps out no child needs 2 bikes, surely you don't have the money to waste like that!?)

If they refuse tell them it's ok you'll put it on Gumtree and put the money in her bank account... grin

ivykaty44 Wed 31-Oct-12 20:35:45

why not just say

Well what a waste of money when we have just got dc an xy or z how silly of you

keep saying it each time the repeat buy a present repeat say

what a waste of your money when dc has already got one and its better

they will soon stop when they keep being told they are silly for doing this repeat buying

repeat it over and over again

Then say

goodness we are trying to guess what you will repeat buy next and waste your money on

BeatTheClock Wed 31-Oct-12 20:40:17

Yanbu. That's really annoying and rather insensitive to keep barging all over your presentssad

I well remember the birthday when inlaws and my parents both brought round an identical birthday present for ds. My parents had asked what he'd like - he was very small- I said a ride on zebra. They got it. But unknown to me and quite by chance mil brought round the exact same zebra. In it came. Out it went. Mil always checks now.

oksonowwhat Wed 31-Oct-12 20:57:37

Has the godmother got children of her own? If she hasn't she probably doesnt realise how sensitive you feel about building memories and traditions. Why not have a word and see if she would like to buy something else xmassy to start a tradition of her own with her godchildren?

As for the others yanbu!! They sound like complete nightmare relatives!

KrassKim Wed 31-Oct-12 22:03:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DewDr0p Wed 31-Oct-12 22:10:39


My MIL bought ds1 a totally cheap and nasty stocking before his first Christmas. Oh and a scratchy Christmas pudding outfit too. I was horrified!

She also frequently bought totally age inappropriate toys which were often also so rubbish that they broke within minutes of use.

In the end I had to get dh to have a word. It was made easier by a few duplicates tbh.

re the traditions - can you think of something else you wouldn't mind them doing instead? It might go down better if you say oh I just really have a thing about doing X but I know they would love Y.... maybe!

sunnyday123 Wed 31-Oct-12 22:13:19

They do sound bad! Have you tried offering things for them to buy as alternatives? I have 2dds who pretty much have everything! I also have a massive family who are always asking what to get them. Last year I gave away lots of ideas from their Santa list to relatives wh asked and it spoilt Xmas as they didn't get what they wanted til later in day when they secifically asked Santa!

This year, everything they want, I have bought and haven't passed any of these on! I have suggested others but not their favourite things.

If they duplicate anything it certainly wouldn't be me taking back - ask them to swap it or for the receipt! If birthday is before Xmas I'd insist their bike goes back, that's plain mean.

I would def have a word with the godmother given she knows the situation. That's a bit ott.

Goldmandra Wed 31-Oct-12 22:56:39

How about "MiniKrass, you already have one of those don't you? You can keep this at [MIL]'s to play with when you are there. Aren't you lucky?"

TeaOneSugar Thu 01-Nov-12 07:39:49

I don't know what it is about this particular generation of grandparents, mine never got this involved and neither did DHs, our parents were left to make their own traditions and have all the firsts with us.

I've had some similar problem here with PIL, in my case it is lack of thought rather than deliberate sabotage but still very annoying.

I'm afraid you'll have to get your DH to speak up, it works far better than saying something yourself.

DontmindifIdo Thu 01-Nov-12 07:46:19

I would tell your PIL that you've already bought a bike for DD so they will have to return theres, say you don't have space for both and won't return yours.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Thu 01-Nov-12 12:03:53

Oooh that's a good idea Gold. Could that work, Krass? Make them keep the second bike at their house?

Goldmandra Thu 01-Nov-12 12:32:45

Even better make them keep everything they duplicate at their own house.

If they say no immediately respond with "Oh dear. That's a shame. MiniKrass, I'm sorry darling we don't have room for it here so perhaps [MIL] will give us the receipt and we'll get the money back and buy something different."

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thu 01-Nov-12 12:36:00

It could be worse - a friend of mine spent ages shopping for her dds' christmas presents, and had thought long and hard to make sure she'd got things they would like - and then her mum and auntie came round and went through her present stash and took away some of the best things, saying that they would give these things to the girls, and give my friend a cheque for them. So she had it all to do again!

Goldmandra Thu 01-Nov-12 13:22:53


Some people are really vile aren't they!

oldraver Thu 01-Nov-12 13:29:45

My Mum used to 'get in there' with buying things for DS I really wanted to buy like his first bike. They got him a trike for Christmas when he was two and before the year was out had bought him a cheap and nasty bike supposedly for Christmas but gave it him in June. Of course they wanted him to go on it and as a very little child it just wasnt suitable for him plus he lost interest in the trike which was more suited..

My Mum will also buy a year later what I had bought the year before despite knowing he has a certain thing... I have given up trying to figure it out grin

NatashaBee Thu 01-Nov-12 13:38:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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