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people askingwhat to get dc and then huffing about what you tell them

(17 Posts)
ditavonteesed Sun 28-Oct-12 17:42:17

seriously, my parents are very generous with dc and always have been, last year mum asked what they wanted and they had a list of little things that they really wanted, all of which could be ordered off amazon so no shopping involved which i agve my parents. This year they have said they arent messing about getting loads of little things and want to get them one big thing, I am struggling to think of a big thing they would like, dd1 has said she would quite like a kindle for her birthday next year soi suggested that to my mum, who seemed absolutly horrifed that i would consdier getting her a kindle, she is 9 so not little or anything.
I really dont know what to suggest, they want to buy her a big present but not anything hi tech by the sounds of it.

DontmindifIdo Sun 28-Oct-12 17:46:46

Then tell them you can't think of anything so they can just go to the shops and find something and you're sure DD will like it.

Catsdontcare Sun 28-Oct-12 17:47:46

We have the opposite problem, mil gets an idea for a gift in her head, runs it past us, we suggest diplomatically that it's not something the dc's would use and give alternative suggestions, and she bangs on about her initial idea and goes ahead with it anyway. She spends a lot which is very generous of her but I hate to see it wasted on some piece of crap the dc's never look at. Makes me wonder why she asks!?

layzeetee Sun 28-Oct-12 17:47:54

If they don't want to buy her a kindle, they don't have to, but I agree that it's odd that they think a kindle is too old for a 9yr old, and I'm generally quite strict about things like that. However, it's ultimately their choice. Could you get a kindle, or if she has other grandparents, ask them, and then your parents might buy her a kindle sleeve/cover or a few books for the kindle? If they won't even agree to that, I'd just ask your DD what other things she wants.

ditavonteesed Sun 28-Oct-12 17:54:01

They wont go to the shops, and wont buy anything that we havent said to get iyswim. I dont want them to buy the kindle I was just on the spot and it was the only thing I could think of.

ginmakesitallok Sun 28-Oct-12 18:09:27

Catsdon'tcare - similar problem here. Very generous granny who tends to get age inapprioriate presents. She has suggested she get DD2 (who has just turned 3) a DS, as she often wants to try her big sisters. I've suggested a couple of vtec things - but DMIL thinks she would be better off with a "real one". She'll break it within 5 minutes...

TeaOneSugar Sun 28-Oct-12 20:14:23

MIL spend a fortune (something like £150) on one of those life like baby dolls last year, I told her dd (8 at the time) really wasn't into baby dolls, she ordered it anyway, when it came I told her again I didn't think DD would be interested and suggested she send it back, she presented it on christmas day and DD thought it was hideous (didn't say so to MIL) and hasn't looked at it since.

It's not even a baby doll you'd play with, really heavy, more for display.

Total waste of money.

This year I've begged her to just get DD the couple of things she's asked for and not to buy stuff for the sake of buying stuff so there's a pile of stuff. Not sure she'll listen.

Howmanytimes Mon 29-Oct-12 08:04:25

My dad does this. He rings from a shop and asks what he should buy! Last year I told him that DD really loves Sylvanian families. He was in John Lewis on his mobile at the time practically looking at the stuff. He said oh it sounds like she has too much of that already and then he bought her a nightie 2 sizes too small. Can't wait for this years totally pointless conversation!

3bunnies Mon 29-Oct-12 08:50:57

For once our family seem to get this bit right - my parents give money into their savings and a token gift. FIL lets us buy it and gives us the money. Much easier. BIL + SIL buy stuff themselves, but they might have been a bit scared off last year by dd2 (at the time she was 4) being very 'spontaneous and honest' about her gift. She doesn't quite 'get' social ettiquette, although she tries.

Jcee Mon 29-Oct-12 09:00:54

We have this and it drives me nuts. DPs family only ever buy oneanother presents off a list as its easier apparently hmm and the lists have to be ready about a month before b'day/Christmas.

Then MIL spends the next 4 weeks complaining about everyone's lists and whats on them and how she won't buy vouchers/IT gear for DP/doesn't like buying clothes/books/music/cosmetics etc and sometimes randomly buys some non list item.

Every year I end up thinking why ask for the list?

flyoverthegoldenhill Mon 29-Oct-12 09:04:16

3bunnies "spontanious and honest" brilliant ! smile

MadBusLadyHauntsTheMetro Mon 29-Oct-12 09:12:48

How very strange that they don't want to get her a Kindle. Do they know what one is? Is it possible they're lumping it in with iPads and smartphones and the like, and think it's all about unfettered internet access and Angry Birds?

fuzzpig Mon 29-Oct-12 10:09:14

I'd love to know what your DD said and what the present was 3bunnies grin

I do not have this problem as my parents hate choosing presents. We choose, order, wrap and store the present, and they pay us back. I know in a way this is good, but I would love it if just once they would actually try and think about what their only grandchildren might like and take some time out of their many shopping sprees to get something. I sound ungrateful (and to be fair my mum does get them nice clothes sometimes) but it just reminds me of when I was a child and they hated giving presents then too confused - several birthdays where I got a scarf with the words "if you don't like it I'll just keep it".

Last week apparently DH was telling them about a gift he's bought me, they said "wow how do you always know what to get her?" - he just did the hmm face and said "Oh you know - I listen" - I guess DH is spontaneous and honest too grin

LaCiccolina Mon 29-Oct-12 10:19:10

I have this problem. Mil hears us say we r buying dd a kitchen for 2nd birthday. She trots out and looks all over for best settling on £160 one which actually we were going to get. By accident it comes up in conversations where I confusedly say but we r buying this!

The reason being I wanted mine and mil and anyone who asked to buy the accessories. Eg kettle, toaster, play food, til, etc for playing house & shops. She's now furious and saying I don't allow her to buy anything.

I'd just rather dd got lots of stuff from all the others. I figured then others could spend £10-80 and please themselves and dd would get all she wants. Added to that she always wants to get 'the big thing' not leaving my parents anytime to offer once.

Woman's a diva and frankly a bitch in granny's clothing.

3bunnies Mon 29-Oct-12 11:34:27

It was a paperchase pencil case - maybe not what every 4 year old dreams of owning, but perfectly acceptable - in their take of moshi monsters. She said 'eugh a pencil case, why did you think I wanted a pencil case, I hate it and will never use it.' and she hasn't. As I say, 'spontaneous and honest'.

fuzzpig Mon 29-Oct-12 12:02:37

Ah yes very honest! grin

Waitingforastartofall Mon 29-Oct-12 13:43:50

Ah bless her its disappointing to get something you know you will never use though. I am going to ask gps to get ds something from the trash pack, we shall see if they go along with it but they are notorious for telling me my ideas are rubbish

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