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Tell me i'm not a freak. Please!

(3 Posts)
thegingerone Sun 16-Oct-11 16:18:04

I LOVE Christmas. The potential freak ness comes from the fact that I am totally happy to spend it on our own and visit family/friends on the other days in the Xmas/NY week. This is how my Christmases were spent when I was little. My mum has passed away and my dad has practically said he dosn't want to see us at christmas (in the nicest poss way!) as he thinks I'm a big girl now with a dh and soon to be three kids of various Santa obsessed/ santa doubting ages.

My DH's family always spent it with grandparents until they died (sorry to be blunt!) He/They think I'm a freak for not deciding to travel with a (potentially) 3 week old baby to another country to visit my dad this year! Usually I have to work a few days around Christmas so it's very difficult to travel.

We have spent a fair share of Christmas Days with my ILs.(which I feel is only fair to respect my DH and his family's wishes.) My DH and his brother can't be in the same room. My DH whinges that we HAVE to go to his parents, even though he could do without it. He says he does it for his Mum. I usually have a strained day (Other people's Christmases and all that) but get into spirit of it for politeness sake. We have spent two at my parent's/dad's. (One before my mum passed away the one after) We've spent two on our own.

I'm trying to get my head around the fact that we're 13 years together, 7 years married, 8 years parents and I feel we still don't have a normal Christmas "routine" we can call our own!! I'm OK to spent Xmas at ILs sometimes and might even visit my Dad at some point, but I feel that WE as a family of five should have a version of Christmas that is ours when we spent it at home!!!

Do you think it's possible for DH and I to ever manage to create that when we've come form two completely opposite angles??

Sorry such a rant and I konw not very unique question!!

storminabuttercup Sun 16-Oct-11 16:40:40

Of course you aren't a freak!

Christmas doesn't have to be celebrated in any set way, there's no rule book!

mrsm123 Mon 17-Oct-11 13:45:10


i started a whole thread about wanting to stay at home for christmas with my husband and 3 kids. you should read it. its under the heading "am i being unreasonable?"

you sound very very fair (as i am) by taking turns with each side of the family etc and if your dad is even hinting at you staying put this year then just do that and dont feel guilty. in fact, if youre going to have a newborn i think youd be mad to go anywhere and others would be very selfish to expect you to do so.

stay home and enjoy it! plan your own little things. if you dont like it, have the hustle and bustle again next year. and also, lots of people dont have established traditions because they chop and change what they do year in year out- i think thats kind cause it shows your accommodating different people each year.
for the first time this year were staying home but having my in laws over. next year ill invite my family then well decide on what to do the following.
(Hopefully our house again!)

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