where to spend Christmas - help please.(5 Posts)
DH and I have been married for 4 years and we have gone to alternate parents for each Christmas so far, though we usually spend Xmas eve or boxing day with the other set depending on what is going on. They both live about an hour away but in different directions, so we do spend a lot of the Xmas period driving about (but have never had to cater). We now have our ds who is 8mo and will be 11mo at Christmas. It is my parents' "turn" to have us which they are very excited about, but dh has said he thinks we should have people at ours instead.
This would potentially involve cooking for up to 14 people!! My parents will have my bro, sis and their respective partners, and potentially my grandad, so we would have to have these also, and my pil's have fil's parents so we would have those also. We could fit everyone in at a push. DH is supremely confident that we would be able to cook Xmas dinner for all of them (he does most of the cooking and is very good) as "it's just like Sunday dinner"! I am dubious, and I am at work until the 23rd, which doesn't give us much time to get sorted.
To complicate matters, however, my parents' house is on the market. They have been there for 20 years, I lived there since I was 8 and it is where I grew up and has been an amazing family home, so if we were to spend Christmas there it would potentially be our last one there. DH still thinks we should host as it is unfair on ds to be driving all over the place for his 1st Christmas.
In tangential rant, dh has two brothers who never spend Christmas with his parents. If they alternated like we did we would perhaps feel less obliged to invite pil.
WWYD in this situation?
Stay at home and have no visitors or go anywhere on Christmas day then have the parents round on Boxing day?
If you feel that strongly about it go to your DM this year, MIL next year and make it clear that from the year after you will be staying at home.
To be honest as lovely as it will be to have your DS their at christmas he wont really understand whats going on for the next yeat or two anyway.
Which means you can spend a special last christmas at your family home but will be in your own home to start your own family traditions from the thime your DS will begin to get excited about christmas.
thats exactly what we do! TBH is the hour travelling with your baby will be much less stressful for all of you than cooking for that many! Go to parents!
Persuade your DH that DS is more transportable this year than he ever will be.
Use this Christmas to have one last celebration at the old family home,which will please your family.
Use this year as a time to set new ground rules for BOTH families from next year that involves everyone coming to you (if DH likes cooking) but everyone helps. One lot do starters/nibbly bits,one lot do puddings, someone else some nice cheeses & everyone to contribute loads of booze!
LISTS are my secret weapon at Christmas & it works!
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