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DH is out 'doing his Xmas shopping', calling me every 5 minutes and buying utter crap.....

(15 Posts)
Normasnorks Thu 16-Dec-10 10:35:07


why, oh, why does he do this?

Leaves it way too late every year, then panics, takes a day off work and cruises round the crap local shopping centre buying whatever tat is still left and then calling me every 5 minutes to ask me what I think/ tell me how proud he about finding some wanktastic piece of rubbish... hmm

He has just called me to say he has bought 2 Science Museum thihngs which I KNOW (because I saw them on Amazon) are the biggest waste of money EVER (one star reviews and reports to trading standards...sad)
I have just told him to take them back and spend the £20 on iTunes vouchers instead...

He will come home later looking angry/stressed and crestfallen that he couldn't really find what he wants. And will have spent loads on money on crap which the DCs will take one look at and then will be consigned to the bin/charity shop.

His Mum will end up getting chocolates and I will get a voucher (as usual...)

I don't understand WHY he does this every year??

I have spent weeks finding out what the kids like/ reading reviews/ collecting little bits and pieces throughout the year etc...

He doesn't even NEED to do any more shopping!


taffetazatyousantaclaus Thu 16-Dec-10 11:09:03

Put a stop on his debit card and start some mulled wine.

Normasnorks Thu 16-Dec-10 11:16:08

Wish I could....

I know I sound smug, but I pride myself in finding things which are good value and which will I know the kids will love/ keep playing with etc.

It feels like DH doing all this is just undermining my hard work and wasting money (which we can't afford).

But if I try to tell him this he just gets all huffy hmm

I know he has a 'right' to buy presents too, but I just wish he'd listen in October when I tell him we need to start planning for Christmas.... grrrr

maktaitai Thu 16-Dec-10 11:19:54

Oh don't. I feel your pain, and your anticipated pain of having to lug stuff to the charity shop (poss regift it? do your children's friends have january birthdays?)

Christmas tat can be fun but it has to be the RIGHT tat IMO.

Why any person gets away with 'hating Christmas shopping' in the era of the internet, i do not know. I finally persuaded dh to try online supermarket shopping (he is supposed to be doing all the food shopping - he used to put it off, and put it off, until we were literally down to Stork and the rice in the bottom of the dry goods drawer) - eventually he humoured me by trying it and oh, what a surprise! It works really well!

Why the non-shopper in the family never takes advice from the good shopper beats me. I would always take dh's financial advice because I know he's really good at that.

kreecherlivesupstairs Thu 16-Dec-10 11:38:21

Can't you just give the presents jointly or have I missed something critical in your OP?

Normasnorks Thu 16-Dec-10 11:46:50

Sorry Kreecher - I don't understand?

We DO give the presents jointly (actually they 'come from Father Christmas' even tho kids are 11 & 8 blush ) but I'm just embarrassed to give them (and his parents) some of the stuff - it's clearly so badly thought out/ last minute.

I've always refused to choose/buy things for his parents/siblings as I already do everyone else (including two sets of GPs who give us the money to get something for them to wrap hmm as 'you know what they'll like') but then I have to endure his frustration when everything's gone by 16th Dec...

Ok, Ok, I am positively anal about Christmas pressie organisation, and have a spreadsheet with columns for each person. From about Sept I add things to an 'Ideas' list for each person, then over the coming weeks buy/order things and then move things into a list below with value attached, so I can track how much we've got/are spending on people.


Maybe DH is just rebelling against the regime grin

(but it really works well - honest!)

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice Thu 16-Dec-10 12:13:13

I love christmas shopping and keep my eyes open all year round for the perfect gift for person X,Y or Z, including all DHs family because he is hopeless at this AND would leave it till christmas eve if it was up to him!

First year we were together I sent him off to buy the nightie I had carefully described, in detail, almost drawing him a map of the shop with an x-marks-the-spot

I was a size 12

he came back all bemused saying "but they only had size 8 or size 22 left" well yes dear, it is 4pm on christmas eve you know!

he is glad to be relieved of the job TBH, and I do run a few ideas past him now and then or at least let him know whats in the parcels before he hands them over to his rellies!

nymphadora Thu 16-Dec-10 12:39:58

Dh has gone shopping to nearest city (1 1/2 hours away)today. I'm getting calls checking the weather as it's snowing. Improvement on last year when he planned to go to same place with kids Xmas week & couldn't cos of the snow.

He only has me to buy for as I do everyone else & start in October (earlier this year as I was housebound in Sept with baby Coming)

girlywhirly Thu 16-Dec-10 13:23:54

My theory is, men think they have more time than they actually do. When Christmas finally arrives it never fails to catch them by surprise, so they are genuinely stunned that things are sold out.

My DH is just the same, no slippers available in size 5 in the style I want, unless in pink (which I don't want.) He knew he should have bought them in October when he first saw them, but wouldn't because I was with him in the shop! And he has no guile to sneak back to the shop while I'm in another one to get them. So he thinks he'll get them another time until it's too late. And he always tells me when he's been unsuccessful in his shopping efforts!

My concern is that he will try to buy me something to replace said slippers due to feeling guilty!

Normasnorks Thu 16-Dec-10 14:19:22

Oh, it's sooooo pathetic isn't it sad

I DREAM of DH getting me a 'surprise' gift, which is absolutely perfect, and which I absolutely LOVE....

I'm not holding my breath, after 20+ years hmm

Normasnorks Thu 16-Dec-10 14:21:36

FFS - he has just called me to tell me he has bought DS (11) a 'special frisbee' in a boxed set with a DVD and instruction book...

1) DS already has loads of frisbees
2) WHo needs a book to learn how to throw a frisbee?
3) Who then also needs a DVD!
4) It cost £12....


maktaitai Thu 16-Dec-10 14:26:04

'They saw you coming then' sounds like the response here...

Is he in some awful gadget shop?

TinselinaBumSquash Thu 16-Dec-10 14:30:31

My DP cannot seem to leave the house without ringing me for something --totally pointless-- extremely important, chirstmas shopping was no exception..

He had been out 15 mins.. phone rings

'DP i can't get hold of your sister to see what she has got you....'

I though, right and what do you want me to do about it?

20 mins later.... phone rings

'I have got you 9 things.. i that enough? i hope there ok'

I reasure him thaey thay will be great

10 mins later.... phone rings

'Im on my way home now, see you in a sec...' hmm

abgirl Thu 16-Dec-10 14:35:48

NN due to a large DIY project in our house this autumn I have taken over all of DH's present buying responsibilities and it's just worked really well and been far less stressful than spending weeks nagging encouraging him to do it. Had all our christmas shopping done by the end of november this year! Give it a go and let him make up for it by contributing in another way, doing something he's clearly better at.

Gave up longing for surprise gifts for me long ago and now give him a detailed list and laptop on 1st December, and glare at him until what I really want gets ordered - works for me...grin

nymphadora Thu 16-Dec-10 14:53:07

Dh bought me a fab present the first birthday we were together& have slowly lost momentum! He buys stuff I like & want would just like to not have to write lists!

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