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Christmas cards for people who have lost loved ones

(6 Posts)
onthepier Mon 29-Nov-10 13:02:40

Feeling pleased with myself as I sat down yesterday afternoon and got all my Xmas cards written and addressedgrin

Apart from a few that is. My friend's husband died suddenly last autumn, and my aunt also experienced the same but just before Christmassad Obviously last Christmas I sent them cards but avoided the "Ho ho ho, have a fantastic Xmas" sorts of greetings, plumping for the Seasons Greetings and a carefully worded letter.

Both of these people have had a really hard year without their dh's, we're in regular contact with them. Is it best to send a similar sort of card to last year or does that convey the message that you're not expecting them to enjoy Christmas? I've got some lovely fun cards which would be just the thing for my friend's children but I wonder if they're somehow too "jolly" given the circumstances. Would appreciate some advice!

oldraver Mon 29-Nov-10 13:46:22

My DH died a few weeks after Christmas so by the time the next one came round no-one thoight anything of it and sent the usual ho-ho-ho variety of card as if nothing had happened and I really didnt want to celebrate Christmas

I did see some cards specifically for bereaved people in a card shop but they didnt sit well with me either. A few years ago I bought a card that said 'thinking of you at Christmas' for a bereaved friend and thought this a happy medium.

It aknowledged they were now alone and their loved one was thought of but not as maudlin as the recent cards I had seen

onepieceoflollipop Mon 29-Nov-10 13:48:09

I think go for the "middle" ground. Nothing too jolly as you say, but a step up from the subdued looking robin or similar?

girlywhirly Mon 29-Nov-10 16:36:47

The type of card you send depends very much on the recipient.

My Mum died six weeks before Christmas one year, and Dad earlier that year. I was also dealing with a divorce, and was having to clear their house and sell it. It never occurred to me what sort of picture was on the front of the Christmas cards, or what was printed inside. What really mattered was that people sent them, often with a 'Thinking of you' or 'Enjoy Christmas as best you can' written inside. There were even cards from people at my parents church, who knew I would be at their house over Christmas. I desperately wanted there to be something to lift my spirits even a little.

Send what you think they'll like, and still include 'Thinking of you at Christmas' written in the card or note with it.

nickeldonkeyonadustyroad Mon 29-Nov-10 17:21:25

I had this problem - ex's aunt died inbetween christmas and new year, and we broke up the next year, but i sent his uncle a card saying thinking about you and hope you can spend lots of tiem with the family over christmas.

it is hard to think what to say, because you really do want them to havea happy christmas, but you don't want them to think you've forgotten.

nickeldonkeyonadustyroad Mon 29-Nov-10 17:23:33

as for the design of the card, i think something maybe with a snow scene, or something like that, nothing too jolly and santa-ish, but not maudlin either

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