I loathe children, and being a mum AMA

(154 Posts)
Daughterofanarc11 Thu 25-Nov-21 15:59:38

This isn't your usual post natal depression manifesting as intense negative feelings . I have been a mother now for two decades and not one day goes by where i don't regret that fact.
I know am very much diff in my thinking to most women and anticipate some difficult opinions ( but hopefully just an open and honest dialogue).

OP’s posts: |
Comedycook Thu 25-Nov-21 16:01:09

How old are your children?

CatonMat Thu 25-Nov-21 16:01:24

Does anyone in real life know your true feelings?
How about your children?

I'm in much the same mindset, so no judgement here.

Comedycook Thu 25-Nov-21 16:01:26

Oh and how many do you have?

FlickerBeat Thu 25-Nov-21 16:01:32

How many children do you have?

FlickerBeat Thu 25-Nov-21 16:01:56

Also no judgement here. I think I'd feel the same too.

Comedycook Thu 25-Nov-21 16:01:56

Oh and fwiw, I adore my kids but I think motherhood is a mugs game!

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gonnabeok Thu 25-Nov-21 16:02:36

How many children do you have? Were they planned and if so what do you think has been the worst part of being a mother? Do you think anything could have made your experience better?

SummerHouse Thu 25-Nov-21 16:03:17

What do you loathe about it?

Are your children NT?

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Thu 25-Nov-21 16:03:35

Thanks for sharing OP. It must be a difficult topic to discuss. My questions are 1) how did you feel about children before having your own? and 2) what is it about being a parent that you hate so much?

ArblemarchTFruitbat Thu 25-Nov-21 16:06:25

I have never wanted children. I don't dislike children (any more than I dislike adults - children and adults are individuals, some likeable, some not) - however, I do loathe the idea of being a mother. I would make a very bad mother for all sorts of reasons.

So my question to you is, why did you decide to have children?

A580Hojas Thu 25-Nov-21 16:08:28

Hope you stopped at one! Hope your child is settled in their adult life and is able to cope with the legacy of their unhappy childhood.

CatonMat Thu 25-Nov-21 16:13:16

It doesn't actually work like that.
Lots of threads on here about how someone's children are their world, whilst mummy allows their partner to bully her (or them)

EileenGC Thu 25-Nov-21 16:14:53

I assume your oldest must be an adult now, how much contact do you have with them?

Do they still live with you or have they moved out?

FlickerBeat Thu 25-Nov-21 16:16:46

A580Hojas

Hope you stopped at one! Hope your child is settled in their adult life and is able to cope with the legacy of their unhappy childhood.

How nice to kick a woman down who is just being honest about her (very common) feelings!

Iamthemaid Thu 25-Nov-21 16:17:18

Well done for your honesty. Have you always felt this way?

HumunaHey Thu 25-Nov-21 16:21:10

Why do you hate it? Have youhad any joy from your child/children at all?

Antsgomarching Thu 25-Nov-21 16:28:48

Do you think they know how you feel?(not goady, I’m genuinely interested)

Antsgomarching Thu 25-Nov-21 16:30:18

Also did you suspect you wouldn’t like it of you had them? And if so why did you go ahead?

MarshaBradyo Thu 25-Nov-21 16:30:23

How many do you have?

And if more than one, why

TheChild Thu 25-Nov-21 16:30:48

What do you dislike the most about motherhood?

Notanotherusernamenow Thu 25-Nov-21 16:32:03

Marking my place!

LadyCampanulaTottington Thu 25-Nov-21 16:37:11

A580Hojas

Hope you stopped at one! Hope your child is settled in their adult life and is able to cope with the legacy of their unhappy childhood.

How can you assume the child/children are unhappy?

I feel exactly the same as OP. Adore my now adult child, gave her a wonderful childhood full of love, laughter, fun and support.

However I LOATHED the job of parenting - parent teacher meetings, school uniforms, homework, packed lunches, after school activities…. Day after day after day. Relentless, mind numbing and so boring.

Quite a common sentiment if I’m not mistaken.

LadyCampanulaTottington Thu 25-Nov-21 16:38:45

Also to add… I really really dislike children. I would pay premium to be in child free spaces like hotels, flights, restaurants etc.

Daughterofanarc11 Thu 25-Nov-21 16:40:58

Thank you for the people expressing no judgment its not an easy topic i know esp. on a mums forum. Im not quite sure how to reply to individual posters sorry.

No one apart from my husband knows my true feelings as I keep them very very hidden, esp. from my children as i would never want to hurt them with my issue.
They know Im not keen on young kids but they don't know i regret motherhood.

I have three children 2 adult age who are at university and one 10 yr old.

OP’s posts: |

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