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I am getting a prenuptial before I get married. AMA

124 replies

sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 21:51

I'm in the process of getting a prenuptial drafted for my other half to sign before we get married - AMA

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HelloViroids · 21/01/2021 21:52

Do you live in England? If so are you worried about it being unenforceable?

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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 21:54

@HelloViroids

Do you live in England? If so are you worried about it being unenforceable?

I am in England. They are not legally binding however if done correctly they have to be taken seriously. I will also be getting a post nuptial so it is signed after married too to help in this case.

Without one it is 50/50 so it's worth having one there just in case
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PinotAndPlaydough · 21/01/2021 21:59

Why? I presume you have assets/money/property you want to protect?

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Newnamefor2021 · 21/01/2021 22:02

Why?

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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:03

@PinotAndPlaydough

Why? I presume you have assets/money/property you want to protect?

Yes, an estate to protect should we divorce. It will be phased dependant on how long we have been together. It's not as straight forward as you just sign something to say they don't get anything or they get this percentage. You have to be fair and think about a lot of factors
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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:04

@Newnamefor2021

Why?

As above 🙂
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BarryWhiteIsMyBrother · 21/01/2021 22:04

How did you first bring it up?

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Namechangeforte · 21/01/2021 22:04

What is the right way to ensure it is taken seriously in an English court?

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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:05

@BarryWhiteIsMyBrother

How did you first bring it up?

I have always been upfront that there will be a prenuptial in place if we got married... he is completely on board with it
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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:13

@Namechangeforte

What is the right way to ensure it is taken seriously in an English court?

Proper legal advice for both parties. Fair.
Preferably a while before the wedding - at least 28 days but the longer the better.
Full disclosure of assets from both parties
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Woollypulley · 21/01/2021 22:14

Will it DEFINITELY hold up in divorce courts after 20 years?

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LizFlowers · 21/01/2021 22:15

Very sensible.

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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:15

@Woollypulley

Will it DEFINITELY hold up in divorce courts after 20 years?

No not definitely. They are not legally binding
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JetBlackSteed · 21/01/2021 22:15

What factors do you have to consider to be fair?

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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:16

@LizFlowers

Very sensible.

Thank you
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HollowTalk · 21/01/2021 22:17

My son has just married someone from another country - they had to sign a pre-nup. It just protects them in terms of what they brought into the marriage.

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PurplePansy05 · 21/01/2021 22:18

What if your circumstances change during the marriage and your DH becomes the richer party, would you proceed to vary the post-nup/have a new one drawn up?

Would he feel the same way as you and would want to protect his assets, are you both on the same page?

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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:20

@JetBlackSteed

What factors do you have to consider to be fair?

If you have been married to someone for 6 months, you probably wouldn't give them the same as if you had been married 50 years. So it's looked at in a timescale.

If children involved, enough to fulfil their needs and requirements. For example, if they are used to a bedroom each, ensuring that if we divorce, they would have a bedroom each at both parents.

I am still waiting for feedback and initial draft so I will have more information regards this after more legal advice
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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:22

@PurplePansy05

What if your circumstances change during the marriage and your DH becomes the richer party, would you proceed to vary the post-nup/have a new one drawn up?

Would he feel the same way as you and would want to protect his assets, are you both on the same page?

We would deal with this should it happen but it will probably be very unlikely unless he wins the lottery
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sheerjewl · 21/01/2021 22:23

@HollowTalk

My son has just married someone from another country - they had to sign a pre-nup. It just protects them in terms of what they brought into the marriage.

Yes this is it. It is just for protection. No one knows what may happen in the future
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crazylikechocolate · 21/01/2021 22:27

How much more than your partner do you bring to the table at the start ?

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Fauchelevant · 21/01/2021 22:31

How much does it cost approx to do all the legal stuff? Do your friends or his family know and how did they react?

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PurplePansy05 · 21/01/2021 22:33

Would you use your money to support him if he lost his job and/or got seriously ill long-term?

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sheerjewl · 22/01/2021 05:53

@crazylikechocolate

How much more than your partner do you bring to the table at the start ?

Approximately £3 million more with more to inherit
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sheerjewl · 22/01/2021 05:54

@Fauchelevant

How much does it cost approx to do all the legal stuff? Do your friends or his family know and how did they react?

It is going to cost approx £5,000 as it has to go to a barrister because of the amount. I was shocked. But apparently this is about right
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