I'll be a mum to 2 at 19 (and DM a grandma to 2 in her 30s) AMA

[qwertyq]

We get a lot of weird comments (some very positive, some judgey), so if it's of any interest, AMA!

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

Did you plan to have either or both of your children when you did?

[LakeIsle48]

I've no questions to ask you but I wish that I was in your shoes. I'm a parent to a 20 and 22 year old and I'm 53 and I'm knackered. If i had my time back I would have had them at your age!

[Baritriwsahys]

When did you have your first? When did your mum have you?

No judgement here, just curious

[whattodo2019]

Are you and your children happy? Can you provide for your children?
Personally I wouldn't have coped with 2 children at 19 but there are plenty of people who can. I think age is irrelevant but I do think a secure future for your children is. Education is often the key.
Good luck xxx

[qwertyq]

@Nextphonewontbesamsung

Neither. DC1 was conceived due to me being careless and immature and thinking it could never happen to me (well, it did, but I'm very glad).
DC2 was a genuine contraceptive failure as I've been extremely cautious since DC1 so completely unexpected!

[qwertyq]

@LakeIsle48 thank you - I think there's pros and cons to having them at any age but definitely nicer to hear that than 'why the hell do you have children as a teenager?!'

[qwertyq]

@Baritriwsahys 20 for DM, 16 for me!

@whattodo2019 very happy. I can provide but I do wish I could be able to give more!

[qwertyq]

@Nextphonewontbesamsung I didn't say that

[hopeishere]

Can you outline the exact timeline ages so I can follow this better.

@Nextphonewontbesamsung that's a bit of a jump! Just because someone chooses not to have an abortion doesn't mean they don't agree with it. What a horrid comment.

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

No, I'm surmising it from your situation. Why would you knowingly have two children before you turn 20 if you didn't actively want either of them beforehand?

[MrsMiggins37]

Are the dads still around?

How do you think it’ll impact things like work, education etc?

[qwertyq]

@Nextphonewontbesamsung not really sure how to respond - I may not have actively wanted to get pregnant but I'm completely happy that I did and happy in my decisions to keep DC!

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

It's not a "horrid comment" at all! I completely disagree, take the emotion out of it for a minute.

If you have a mistake with your contraception and aren't planning to have a child, why would you not have an abortion? Unless you have some calling against it?

If you knowingly had a contraceptive failure, why would you not take the MAP?

I am genuinely curious to know.

[hsegfiugseskufh]

samsung how rude! A lot of women keep babies from unplanned pregnancies because they want to and they can.

Doesnt mean theyre anti abortion!

[AllTheWhoresOfMalta]

I’m mid 30s and went to school with a girl who is now a grandmother. I just can’t imagine it! Mine are preschool age and she’s got a grandchild older than my youngest.

I suppose what I wonder about her and will ask you is what do you regret not doing before you had children?

[WellErrr]

Thanks for demonstrating the type of judgey comments OP must get, Next 🙄

[hsegfiugseskufh]

If you knowingly had a contraceptive failure, why would you not take the MAP?

Unless it was a condom splitting youd have absolutely no idea your contraception had failed until you had a positive pregnancy test.

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

Again, it is not rude. It is a question - as in Ask Me Anything - I am asking. It is NOT rude, it is what many people would ask.

[WellErrr]

If you have a mistake with your contraception and aren't planning to have a child, why would you not have an abortion? Unless you have some calling against it?

DH brought me a bar of chocolate the other night. I’m actively trying not to eat much sugar at the moment, and I wasn’t expecting it, but it was a nice surprise so I had it anyway.

[WellErrr]

It’s extremely rude, and no ive never heard ANYONE ask anyone that question. Ever.

[qwertyq]

@Nextphonewontbesamsung it wasn't a contraceptive failure I was aware of until I took the test!

@MrsMiggins37 yes, both.

I do worry that it'll affect things like work especially. I've always wanted to get onto a career path and progress and although I'm confident that I'm mature, intelligent, work-driven and capable, I worry that any employer will see 2 bouts of maternity leave before 20 and not give me a second look for how it must seem! I'm not naive to the judgement or stereotypes so it's hard when I start to worry!

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

What on earth has your bar of chocolate got to do with having a child WellErr? Are you being serious?

[qwertyq]

@AllTheWhoresOfMalta DM doesn't regret not doing anything before me apart from she has the same one guilt as me and that's not being able to give as much as people who have progressed/got a stable career and such.
I think I'm the same (although maybe I regret not appreciating sleep more 😂), but otherwise!