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I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

(565 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 19:58:58

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

Spideryplant Tue 23-Apr-19 21:13:57

Thank you

hellenbackagen Tue 23-Apr-19 21:16:15

I had
To have a tfmr, wish my midwife had been like you. First one was older and lovely but shift changed and then I felt like a number taking up a bed. Was an awful experience and the most undignified thing ever. I got told off because I didn't want to use the commode and of course it happened when I went to the loo. Baby was stuck. I had horrible care and dried and cried about it after. Placenta was
Picked out with tweezers. I felt like a lump of meat. And they forgot I was there so no meal was ordered for me .
It was shit.

happychange Tue 23-Apr-19 21:16:40

What's the longest gestation period you have aborted? How was that like?

My friend was offered an abortion at 33 weeks as her DD had a congenital disorder that was only diagnosed at 33 weeks. She couldn't go ahead with it and I don't blame her, but wonder if there's people who do

Tough decision either way

hellenbackagen Tue 23-Apr-19 21:18:32

The laughable thing is I got told to
Go for medical management over surgical because it may harm chance if future pregnancy.
I was 44. Baby had chromosome issue.

I never fell pg again anyway. I should have had surgical.

Racerback Tue 23-Apr-19 21:20:26

Thank you, OP. flowers

FenellaMaxwell Tue 23-Apr-19 21:23:25

No questions. Just thank you.

EustaciaPieface Tue 23-Apr-19 21:26:10

I had an abortion 27 years ago as a teenager. I was terrified and just couldn’t believe how lovely all the staff were. What you do is so important. Thank you to you and everyone else who works in this area.

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 21:30:07

@hellenbackagen that's so shit. I'm sorry. I'd definitely choose surgery if I had the option I think. I'm not sure though. I've had lots of miscarriages so can talk with confidence about the various treatments which apply to most women (under 10 weeks) because I've tried them all.

parrotfashionista Tue 23-Apr-19 21:37:17

Have you ever done selective reductions in a multiple pregnancy?

clairethewitch70 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:37:42

I am pro choice. Thank you for doing your work compassionately.

StylishMummy Tue 23-Apr-19 21:37:50

What % of women change their mind and continue with the pregnancy and what do you think is the reason for that?

Do you see people who have had 3 or more abortions regularly? I've read some articles that suggest it's now viewed as a form of contraception but like to think this is BS

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 21:40:19

@parrotfashionista no we don't do that where I am. That would be more specialist I think.

Wilbs77 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:40:36

@hellenbackagen does medical management effect future pregnancy? I had a MM last summer and had medical management, wasn't offered anything else, then had another miscarriage in December, I feel a bit stupid that I didn't know I had options.

ControversialFerret Tue 23-Apr-19 21:42:43

Do you have any issues with pro-life protesters where you work?

Thank you for doing what you do. All women should have access to safe and legal abortion, should they need it.

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 21:45:22

@StylishMummy I'm not too sure about %. It definitely happens but I often predict people don't have treatment with us and I'm always bloody wrong.

Yes, definitely see women like that. I wouldn't say they use it as contraception, but it's certainly a form of birth control. I always think that most women are fertile for about 40 years, assuming we have regular sex and use the common contraceptives (the pill/condoms) it's crazy to assume we'll never slip up. They all have high failure rates. Usually there is a back story to it (but not always).

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 21:49:31

@ControversialFerret not often at my exact location but yes we do as a whole. We get sent dodgy things via post too. We've got buffer zones coming in now though!

FurrySlipperBoots Tue 23-Apr-19 22:00:34

Are later-term fetuses just seen as medical waste, or are they treated as (you would hope!) a much-wanted stillborn infant of the same gestation would be? For example are they washed/talked to/wrapped and treated with respect or are they simply quickly and wordlessly disposed of as through they were a tumor or amputated body part?

TooBusyHavingFun Tue 23-Apr-19 22:03:36

Are later-term fetuses just seen as medical waste, or are they treated as (you would hope!) a much-wanted stillborn infant of the same gestation would be? For example are they washed/talked to/wrapped and treated with respect or are they simply quickly and wordlessly disposed of as through they were a tumor or amputated body part?

^This is my question as well

hellenbackagen Tue 23-Apr-19 22:15:57


No - I was told to have medical because I wanted to try again and was told that 1) it was less risky and my chances would be better and b) it was kinder.
Kinder to who I wonder now. I wonder if medical costs less than surgical. I'm betting that has something to do with it.

I felt and still feel I was let down. I ended up itch horrific pid and one siremit was poking about up there with tweezers.
I tried for another pg and have now given up as I'm too old at 47.
My last pregnancy holds only terrible traumatic memories for me.

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 22:19:49

Hmm difficult question. without going into too much detail, it wouldn't be possible to do that after surgical abortion. But each baby is kept separately (they're not all bundled in a big bag and chucked in the bin). They're kept on site for a certain period and then taken away in a specific collection. I'm not exactly sure after late medical abortion what we do as I've not been involved. Every woman is given the option to take their baby if they want to have their own burial (but it's rare).

DreamingofSunshine Tue 23-Apr-19 22:21:24

Thank you for your role in ensuring women in this situation are treated with dignity and respect.

How many abortions are due to contraceptive failure or incorrect use? Do you think we need any changes to sex Ed?

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 22:21:42

@hellenbackagen was this in the NHS? How many weeks were you? The risks are very different. It might be worth getting your notes and having a debrief with someone/making a complaint. It sounds bloody terrible.

BayandBlonde Tue 23-Apr-19 22:24:04

About 25 years ago I had a surgical termination.

I hadn't even properly come around from the GA when the nurse stuck a needle in my arm and said 'you won't get pregnant again'....I was groggy but those words have stuck.

It was the depo contraceptive, I didn't challenge it at the time and haven't raised it again since.

Please tell me giving contraceptives without consent still doesn't go on??

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 22:24:57

@DreamingofSunshine changes to sex Ed! Yes yes yes! Yes yes. So much. Needs to be done by specialist people, not teachers. Need more focus on long acting contraception like the implant /coil/injection as well as condoms. Needs more focus on relationships, respect, consent etc etc.

I reckon 80% of the women I see day they weren't using contraception (but lots of them actually were using things like fertility awareness, withdrawal, condoms).

Downthecanal Tue 23-Apr-19 22:26:37

helen I’m sorry for your experience flowers

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