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I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

(565 Posts)

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GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 19:58:58

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

SoHotADragonRetired Thu 25-Apr-19 16:23:26

Can we have an AMA here, please? Ignore the people dead set on debating how disgusting it all is, they can start their own thread on that.

Sagradafamiliar Thu 25-Apr-19 16:23:38

Drogo I have no idea, I'm taking a wild guess that the hormones increase the appetite.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:24:13

The NHS website states that depo makes you put on weight (link above). So does the insert from the pack. All the contraception counselling I've done says so too. The evidence suggests that most other forms of contraception don't make you put weight on though. I don't know the reasons, I'm not a Pharmacist, but I do know that's what the evidence suggests.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:27:05

I know I gained weight when I moved on to a certain for of pill but that was because I was eating more, nothing more to it. I genuinely am interested in how a doctor would react if I went to them at 5 months pregnant and said I don't want this baby, I need an abortion and I won't be making sure I don't get pregnant again because contraception makes me gain weight so I'll probably be back here in a few months for another one and who knows how many more I will need, by the OP standards that is my choice and it should be perfectly ok and no one will judge me for that choice.

Sagradafamiliar Thu 25-Apr-19 16:28:10

Drogo I found my depo info

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:28:32

So it's because of over eating then? regardless of whether it's hormones that influence this or not, that's the reason.

AliceRR Thu 25-Apr-19 16:28:42

Why should she have contraception which she knows makes her gain weight if she doesn't want it?


Thelovecats85 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:30:34

Yet somebody is then allowed to say that parents of a baby born severely disabled, should have the option to kill it if they want, as it would be better dead than living the life it does. There potentially could be parents out there, reading this thinking that people think their little baby is better off dead?!

It should be up to the individual to decide whether they want to keep a severly poorly child alive or not. If the issue is discovered when you are pregnant you have that choice, but the choice is taken away from you if it's not discovered until after birth. I'm not saying disabled children should be killed, I'm saying all parents should be given the choice to terminate their child's life in the case of sever disability.

And yes I do feel we are keeping people both young and old alive in conditions where it would be kinder to let them pass.

As I said it's a different view on life and death. Not everyone believes life should always be preserved at any cost.

Sagradafamiliar Thu 25-Apr-19 16:31:18

Maybe it slows the metabolism? I'm not in the medical field.
As for your ridiculous hypothetical scenario, I doubt many GPs would ever hear such twaddle. You're over simplifying real life tough situations women find themselves in and twisting them.

Thelovecats85 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:34:54

I thought hormonal contraception increased water retention and encourage the body to lay down fat because your body thinks your pregnant and needs stores for the baby and breastfeeding.

MyToothPain Thu 25-Apr-19 16:35:04

Someone else asked an interesting question, but I couldn’t see an answer.

Do partners often come? Families even? And do they take part in any before/after counselling or is it discouraged to keep it the woman's’ decision?

user1457017537 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:41:55

I know a couple of men who were bit wanted by their mothers. They had active, fulfilling lives despite one not knowing his name for his whole of his childhood - he was known as “the bastard”. Other people stepped in and protected and raised him.

Op perhaps you should read Erin
Pizzey on abused women and the amount of times they return to their partners. You sound naive to believe everything you are told. But perhaps their narrative supports your views.

Op I would be interested to know if any women die after terminations as they certainly do after giving birth in some tragic circumstances. I have long thought that abortion care and after care is better than the care women are given during birth.

Horrific opinions on killing babies at birth or shortly after. Unholy in fact and I wouldn’t say I was particularly religious but if you d r respect life you cannot have any belief system st all.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:42:07

As for your ridiculous hypothetical scenario, I doubt many GPs would ever hear such twaddle. You're over simplifying real life tough situations women find themselves in and twisting them.

But it is simple, the OP says she agrees with that as a woman's right to not take contraception, have unprotected sex and then abort the inevitable unwanted pregnancy.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:43:49

And as a said earlier I know of one person who did this twice, she didn't want to take contraception because of weight gain and fell pregnant and aborted the pregnancy. She had one child already and now has 2. She has had 5 abortions in total.

user1457017537 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:44:30

I also can’t believe you would notify a teenagers family did I read that right.

user1457017537 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:45:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:46:47

@MyToothPain sorry I must have missed that one. Great question. Lots of people being someone with them. We do see all clients on their own but then invite partners/family in once we've established the woman's choice and that they're safe.

Katterinaballerina Thu 25-Apr-19 16:47:34

So keen on the unborn, not so keen on the born ...

Sagradafamiliar Thu 25-Apr-19 16:50:45

Oooh drogo lets all judge the poor woman whose experience you've just laid out for us all to read here then. I'm surprised you know the full circumstances which led to her decisions but there you go. Either way, it's her right to do just that. It's legal. And it's no one else's business.
Like I said earlier, what you really want is a debate.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:51:46

user1457017537 no we don't notify parents unless the under 18 tells them.

In what way am I being naive? Sorry if I've misunderstood your point about abusers?

Death does happen but it's very very rare, normally as a result of either an unknown or undeclared medical condition or allergy. Rarely directly due to the abortion. The chances of dying during an abortion is about 1:100,000.the chance of dying during child birth (in the UK) is about 1:6,000.

AnyaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 25-Apr-19 16:52:43

Hi there everyone,

We're just popping onto the thread to remind everyone to stick our talk guidelines. We can see thing are getting really heated, and we do appreciate it's an emotive topic. We really don't want to delete the thread, so please folks, keep things civil. flowers

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:52:53

I also can’t believe you would notify a teenagers family did I read that right.

Yes I found that a bit hmm aswell.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:53:38

Right. I’ve just googled weight gain and depo and found this:

“When looking at potential mechanisms, researchers point to two effects that Depo Provera may have that could stimulate weight gain.

One is that it has glucocorticoid effects. The human body produces these steroids (such as cortisone) in response to stress and other signals. When people are given glucocorticoids such as prednisone (for example, for asthma, COPD, or autoimmune disorders), weight gain is common.

It's also thought that reduced estrogen levels during Depo Provera treatment may play a role in weight gain.” From

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:55:16

I said this.... GlitteryPoopooplop

@BlingLovingit's definitely something we'd encourage (telling their parents) but no we wouldn't just tell them without permission (apart from anything else they'd need to give details of their parents so they just wouldn't of they didn't want us to know). But i normally would say that their mum would probably want to know.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:57:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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