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Talk Roundup
30 January 2009

Siblu

You may have noticed the new disclaimer on the Am I Being Unreasonable? Talk board advising that the topic encourages posters to take sides: "This means that posters tend to express their opinions. If you don't want to read posts from people who might strongly disagree with you, you might prefer to post in a different topic area on our site." Kormachameleon was tickled: "They could have just put 'you are probably being not only unreasonable but completely f*cking crazy. People will point this out to you so if you don't like it - leave'." UnquietDad thought all sections should have a disclaimer: "TV: 'Note: this section includes people discussing their favourite TV shows as if they are real. They know they are not. Please do not feel the need to point this out. Yes, John Barrowman is very good-looking. He is also gay, so forget it.'"

Partner has turned out to be a nutter, sighed heartbroken SnackJack this week, after her lovely boyfriend sat her down for a serious talk and informed her: "I'm a vampire." "I obviously assumed it was a metaphor for something else but he went on to assure me that he was actually a real, full-on vampire...he actually said he grows fangs when he smells blood and has to avoid sunlight or he burns, that's why he lives in Scotland." "Were there really no clues?" pestered Tidgypuds, "Did he wear his collar up? Did he sleep with his arms crossed?" SnackJack decided she would meet him for dinner to discuss things further: "I'm going to order shitloads of garlic mushrooms and garlic bread just to see his reaction."

Mineminemine introduced us to a new level of Mooncup proficiency this week, discussing the punch down method of insertion: "Do you find that it doesn't pop out straight away? I quite often suddenly feel a 'twang' inside me." "What on earth is the punch down?" spluttered mindalina. "I tried out the seven fold today," reported an excited MineMineMine, "I might have a go at the origami fold." "I just squash it flat and fold it," tutted TsarChasm, "Does yours look like one of those fancy napkins in the shape of a swan?" But Mooncup fan bran was evangelistic: "When I retire my Mooncup, I'm going to fold it into the shape of a languid butterfly and have it bronzed."

Why is my mum so odd? pondered mrsseanbean, "The other day she called me to inform me that she and Dad had been to the new Lidl and all the 'German staff were so smartly dressed'." Downbutnotout sympathised, after being asked by her mother-in-law: "Now that Barack Obama's president, what will he do all day?" And Heated's MIL had declared a dead mouse "as dead as a dildo". Fathers can be similarly baffling: FattipuffsandThinnifers' dad insists on calling his digibox a 'vegemite'. But ILikeDots was traumatised when her Nan sadly informed her that a friend's husband "was unable to drive as he had a detached rectum". Fortunately, "she meant retina". Sighs of relief all round.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

MUMSNET GUIDE TO TODDLERS - The first of the Mumsnet Guides is launched this week. Essential reading for anyone who has ever resorted to persuading their toddler that they are having their teeth brushed by the family cat, pick up a copy for yourself and a copy to impress your friends (because your excellent advice is probably in there somewhere!).

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