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Mumsnet Logo Mark Warner

GREENS ROCKY ROAD - With no baking required, this chocolate, marshmallow and biscuit mix is the perfect quick treat to enjoy making with your children. Check out www.greenscakes.co.uk for more delicious recipes.

Talk Roundup
13 February 2009

Mumsnet Toddlers Book

What's the worst thing you ever did at school? asked SweetAudrina, who not-so-sweetly locked her drama teacher in a cupboard. Branflake81 "replaced all the chalk with tampons in our music lesson" while TheCheeseAlarm was complicit "in putting a tin of sheep's eyeballs on top of the register in the drawer, which the teacher put her hand in when she went to get the register out". Bizzarely, Notalone was asked to cut out photos of food processors during a home ec class and evaluate them, but instead: "Cut out close-ups of men's pants (with men wearing them) and wrote about which one had the biggest bollocks. I got hauled into the deputy head's office and asked if I wanted counselling." RubyRioja admitted she once bunked off during double math to have a perm: "Justice in itself really."

I think I've figured out why Justin Fletcher freaks me out, decided bohemianbint: "I think it's because he looks like a giant manbaby...I think his dress sense offends me too, excessive use of chinos." Hellsbells76 was worrying about Balamory: "It is just The Wicker Man for kids. I keep expecting a naked Britt Ekland to prance through Spencer's house." "I want to talk about Big Cook," blurted bohemianbint. "Does his cheerfulness seem so stretched at the edges you can almost see behind it? If you look behind the eyes you can almost see the self-loathing." "And what's with the money shot all over Little Cook's face every episode?" snarled NoBiggy.

LeatherOnLeather was whining this week because DH really embarrassed her during a Wii game at a dinner party: "When it was my turn I was doing this ski jump thing where you have to bend down and DH shouted 'OPEN YOUR LEGS!' but in a really rough 'docker' type voice. Everyone was in hysterics, one person was actually having trouble breathing. I didn't cause a scene there but I'm really annoyed with him." "I have more bonhomie than pretending to ski in my friend's lounge," scowled ScottishMummy and moondog agreed: "If my social life consisted of pretending to ski in someone's living room, I would slit my wrists."

Among the embarassing confessions this week was that many MNers can't tell their left from their right. Wuglet works in a medical environment and has to note where patients' pain is located: "Sometimes I can only do this by waiting until they have left the room then sitting in their seat." More worryingly, gemmummy revealed: "I am an air traffic controller and struggle with left and right. I get round it by never putting down my pen so I always know which way is right." Less critically, bluebump divulged: "For years I thought the dinosaurs became extinct because cavemen hunted them all." While CharleeheartsherChains confessed: "I thought until last year you slept under electric blankets."

NotQuiteCockney was disturbed by the discovery that the loos in her workplace have macerating 'Water Bunnies' in them: "They're a weird powered menstrual pad disposal thing. I thought it was just a bin attached to the wall, albeit with a weird logo and name. But I touched the plastic lever thing and it started making a noise and water started coming out of it. WTF does it do with them?" Resident hippy FrannyandZooey was excited: "Perhaps it is a MOONCUP WASHER?" A tad optimistic, I think.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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