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Talk Roundup
12 September 2008

www.mywardrobe.com

The summer holidays are long gone, but disappointed first-time mum Pamelat needed a de-brief after her own personal hell in a hotel with a non-sleeping baby, "Am I being unreasonable to have wanted to enjoy our first holiday with our baby? We took it in turns to get up with her at 2.30am and drive her around (!) so that the other one could get some sleep," although it wasn't all bad: "We had one good day: the sun shone and we went wine tasting!" "Accept that hols will never be the same again," advised Shootfromthehip, "You will spend a terrific amount of money making yourself miserable abroad but at least will come back with a tan." "It's just childcare in a different setting," noted Fennel, "without all the child-friendly things you've got set up at home. When work colleagues ask me if I had a 'relaxing' break I want to hit them." There are some positives, as SoupDragon pointed out: "You get to build sandcastles again without looking like a tw*t for a start." But Cappuccino provided an ominous warning of worse things to come: "There'll be no wine tasting next year with a toddler, that's for sure."

Am I being unreasonable to not want to sleep in a tight embrace with DH every night? asked Rubyloopy, "I like to sleep without an arm wrapped round or leg across me. We don't seem to be able to reach a compromise." LittleMyDancing knows how she feels: "I have DH on one side who likes to clasp me to his manly chest all night, and DS on the other who likes to roll right into my chest and wriggle backwards until he's completely nestled in there. I feel like jam in a sandwich most nights. HOT jam." Littlelapin sympathised: "Why are all men like big hairy snoring hot water bottles?" Elsewhere, territorial wars were being waged in marital beds: "DP is always trying to convince me I'm on his side... while his head is on my pillow and I'm pinned underneath him," growled BlingLovin, "We have been known to count the slats in the headboard in an attempt at objectivity about who's on whose side." "Sometimes DP rolls over, literally on top of me as if I am not there!" squeaked DaphneMoon, "It's not much fun as he is 15 stone!" However, Califrau seems to have found the perfect flat-packed solution: "We have an Ikea bed made of 2 separate mattresses. You can still feel the seam down the middle. WOE BETIDE anyone who dares cross the seam once the cuddling is over! It's like the Berlin Wall."

What's the most embarrassing food you've burnt? asked an easily-distracted Likessleep, who burned her flapjacks while Mumsnetting. RustyBear admitted: "Burnt pasta is so common in this house that DD has named it 'Mumsnet pasta'." ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands burnt the custard for her trifle but used it anyway: "It looked beautiful; served it up to guests... we all gagged in unison at the first mouthful." And careless AwayWithTheFaries blew up her microwave popcorn: "I thought it said 15 mins not 15 seconds! It was a big black mess glowing red in the middle!"

Talking of which, "Is anyone else keeping their children off school because of the world ending?" asked Scaredoftheblackhole on Wednesday, as the Large Hadron Collider was being stoked up. "No. Of course not," snapped an indignant OrmIrian, "I've already made their packed lunches." "It'll take 4 years for the black holes to eat the earth," reassured a carefree Riven, advising, "Start running up credit cards." "Oh no - what time is it ending?" demanded working mum Feature, "I have a meeting at 10am." "Good GOD," gasped Ladytophamhatt, "I love my kids, I really do, but there is nothing that would make me keep them at home if they COULD be in school". LapinOnTheEventHorizon agreed: "It's not going to happen until October 21st. Do you really want them at home all that time?" Well quite; we've only just survived the summer hols.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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