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Talk Roundup
17 October 2008

sweatyBetty

Littlelapin was sorry to report this week that Cod had flounced after an influx of badly behaved trolls: "She's given up and gone off to enrol in an intensive typing course." "It won't be the same," mourned Cappuccino, "everyone will be nice. This must be avoided at all costs." "It's just like Princess Diana all over again," wailed Bride1, while kindly Obco suggested: "I think that what Cod would appreciate most right now, is if we all lit a candle for her." A weeping Wastingmyeducation was struggling with Mumsnet impinging on her real life: "I woke this morning having dreamed that Cod had come back and I was happy."

Freespiritfreedom was feeling feminist rage at hideous sexist adverts, including Trident Insurance, which, according to Skyatnight, featured laydees who are "very, um, decorative and bouncy". Riven promptly phoned Trident's director to complain. "He really didn't give a toss," Riven reported. Moments later, newbie Ehoward popped up to give her (or was it his?) take on insurance marketing: "I just called Robert, he was charming and only too happy to discuss the ad. Wish I had a body like those girls!!!!!! Felt sorry some women might be upset but his company sells great value insurance and was anything but sexist. He sounded really horny quite honestly." Liffey wasn't impressed: "This is a site for parents, mostly women, some men, but not really for Benny Hill types pretending to be women." Another newbie, Mummsy11, was appalled at Liffey's accusations: "u are disgracefull i am reporting you to mums net administrator!!!!!" Carmenere chuckled at the insurance boys in the 'hood and predicted: "They will be off to All Bar One for drinks soon."

What is the most utterly ridiculous thing you've cried at? asked Kiltycoldbum, after shamefully blubbing at the end of Barbie Island Princess. National Treasure Rolf Harris seems to be the man to reduce most Mumsnetters to tears: "Oh my God! Two Little Boys completely slays me every time," wailed Ags, although she admitted also bursting into tears at the blurb on the back of an Innocent juice carton. Turquoise recalled the time when she fluffed her entry to a long-anticipated party by arriving with "a big purple blotchy swollen face with piggy little red eyes" after spending the afternoon sobbing at a film "about a little blind pit pony who died in a mining disaster". But most embarrassing was Beautiful's first meeting with her DS's new headmistress: "I was planning to say, 'I just wanted to say that I'm so happy my son will be coming here.' What actually came out was, 'I just wanted to s-say I'm so happy... [blub].' She backed away from me!"

Yesterday morning, whilst paying bills at post office, I passed a Regular Lil-Let under the glass partition with my gas payment card, reported ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands, "I tried to hook it back but it had gone so far under that he had to pick it up between finger and thumb and pass it back to me. He just shook his head and laughed whilst I proceeded to cock everything else up (debit card in machine upside down, dropped everything) in an effort to get away faster." "Look on the bright side," exhorted Krib, "at least it wasn't a SUPER Lil-Let". This made Tillyscoutsmum's cringe in recollection of her conversation with an online shopping delivery driver: "He went through my replacements with me and held up a box of regular Lil-lets and said 'We've replaced the Super ones you asked for with these, is that OK?'" Tillyscoutsmum thought not, really: "Just ask me how big my fanjo is, why don't you?"

We had a glimpse into the bizarre world of Ggglimpopo this week, who was accosted on her way home from the childminder by an admiring stranger who declared: "What a gorgeous baby!" However, on looking in the pushchair, she was forced to retract her statement: "Oh, it's not a baby, it's your handbag." "'Tis a very nice handbag," admitted Ggg.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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