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Talk Roundup
14 March 2008

Boden

Foxinsocks demonstrated the difficulties of combining work with parenthood this week when she pulled out a pair of knickers from her pocket in a business meeting and threw them onto the table. "Someone wanted a tissue. I have a stack of tissues in my jacket pocket. I reached in, pulled what I thought was a piece of kitchen roll out and handed it across the table - only to see a pair of DD's knickers tumble out." "They all thought they were your knickers," gloated Squonk, "They are probably in the gents, right now, discussing why your knickers are in your pocket." "I suggest you keep an eye out for mirrors 'left' on the floor for the rest of the day," advised Funnyhaha helpfully. Jellyhead sympathised, "I gave DS2 a tampon instead of a crayon in a coffee shop the other day. He handed it back and said 'it doesn't work mummy.'"

Hassled had us pondering Things you don't want to hear your child say, after overhearing her 5 year-old son telling his brother, "I'm going to try to start a fire." Colditz sat bolt upright "at 6am on a Sunday morning" when she heard the words "Ummm, mummy's not going to be very happy with us..." But Hecate wisely takes a more relaxed approach, "They can say what they like, the louder the better, what sends shivers down my spine is when it all goes quiet..."

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After this week's television premiere of Delia's new "cheats" cookery programme which espouses the joy of "75% mince" canned mince, a disgruntled Downbutnotout felt compelled to set up a Support group for disgruntled fans of Delia. TheDevilWearsPrimark was not persuaded, "What person, too stretched for time to cook, has cornichons, capers and dillweed to hand?" and Clumsymum wanted to know why you would smash up frozen potato rosti to make bread when "you've paid money for them to be squashed together!" Carmenere felt cheated, "I feel like my mum has taken a job in a strip joint frequented by my bin men." Meanwhile Kathyis6incheshigh was pondering some anti-advertising activism, "There are posters at the railway stations saying 'Who makes pastry? Not Delia!' and I was tempted to make some stickers that go over them to say, 'Me! It's really easy, just two parts fat to one flour and a splash of water, you can do the rubbing in with a food processor.'"

We might be goddesses in the kitchen but it seems we are definitely sluts as far as the housekeeping is concerned judging by the thread: What is the most slovenly disgusting thing you have found in your house? It seems you can't move in a Mumsnetter's house without standing on a dead mouse or uncovering a mummified banana; Themildmanneredjanitor admitted that she recently found "a piece of poo under the computer table" and Joolyjoolyjoo found mouldy raisins in her coat pocket, "how long must raisins have been there to get mouldy?" she wondered. GooseyLoosey confessed that she once "put the new raspberries I had bought in the bin and the dirty nappy in the fridge. It was something of a shock when I went to get the raspberries out several hours later. Sh*t does not chill well!" Marmadukescarlet cleaned out her olive oil dispenser only to discover the corpse of a rare insect, "I was fascinated until I remembered it had been drizzled over pizzas and salads." TheDevilWearsPrimark admitted to drunken antics with a vacuum cleaner, "I remember my friend at a party being sick on the hall carpet and then using the Dyson to hoover it up. We were both very drunk and in hysterics at the vomit swirling around." I'm not sure that's quite the sort of feedback from Mumsnetters that Dyson headquarters were hoping to receive...

MORNINGPAPER XXX

TODAY! THE SECOND COMING of David Cameron - The leader of the opposition will be logging on from The Tory party's spring forum in Gateshead this afternoon from 3.30-4.30. Come along and ask him a question about an issue relevant to you, or if you can't make it at that time, you can post advance questions here.