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QUICK CHRISTMAS POLL! Does the potent mix of families and enforced 'fun' trigger festive flashpoints? Our slightly random Christmas poll goes from the sublime (the true meaning of Christmas?) to the ridiculous (Christmas at home versus Christmas on a sun-drenched beach?). It only takes a few minutes and you'll automatically be entered into this week's competitions. Ho ho ho!

Talk Roundup
12 December 2008

Luxury Family Hotels

Macdog was left bemused this week after taking Mooncup leaflets into parent and toddler group and being accosted by the chair, who thought them inappropriate: "I wasn't giving a lecture or demonstration, I just sat them up by the tea hatch." "Is it because it is about ladies' things?" whispered harpsichordcarrier and MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt cautioned, "don't invite the chairperson to an Ann Summers party, whatever you do." But DoesntChristmasDragOn thought the chair had a point: "I wouldn't want to be thinking about it whilst having my tea and a Jammie Dodger." Aitch felt Macdog would receive a warmer welcome if she presented the group with a pyramid of Mooncups: "Oh Mooncup ambassador, you are spoiling us."

When writing your Christmas cards, please do not sign your pet's name, warned LynetteScavo: "It makes you look slightly odd." "We put our dogs' names down on our cards as they are part of the family," barked purpleangel, but Tissy agreed it was the thin end of the wedge: "My Mum always signs cards from her goldfish."

SmilesLikeNoOther was fretting about how much toilet roll her family uses: "I reduce, reuse, recycle, don't drive, use charity shops, never throw food away, you name it I try to do it...with a family of four, a roll a day is not extravagant is it?" But Lowenergylightbulb thought the OP wasn't trying hard enough: "We use one loo roll a year and bulk it out by wiping our arses with stinging nettles." Wallace always enjoys the description of Tesco Value loo roll on her online shop: 'Tesco Value Toilet Tissue 12 Roll 2400 Sht', noting: "It's good, but not that good!" But serious eco-evangelist terramum brought us back to earth with a bump, with talk of 'the family cloth': "What I would say though, is not to go straight into doing family cloth for both number ones and number twos. Try it for just number ones for a while."

MUMSNET CHRISTMAS CARDS ON SALE NOW! The official Mumsnet Christmas Card 2008 is now on sale, with all the money raised going to Kids Company. It's £7.50 for 20 of these hilarious cards, so if you haven't got round to getting your cards here's your chance, and if you have, stockpile for next year.

What accidents did YOU have on school trips? asked GraceGrapello, recalling the time she and her partner in crime, Annie Street, fell into the English Channel while on a school outing: "The teacher didn't notice. Annie had a bottle of cooking wine in her bag so we drank that to warm up." ChristmasCakeYerbouti fell out of a tree and broke her leg while hunting for boys and ended up with detention for bringing the school into disrepute: "The disrepute was made worse because Fay Douglas had drawn a giant knob on my plaster." TheChristmasArmadillo fainted at the top of a castle in Germany, which resulted in reports of her death being greatly exaggerated: "The teacher left with the other pupils accidentally told them I'd 'passed away' instead of 'passed out'."

Habbibu wanted reassurance she was not the only parent who made stupid threats that you can't possibly carry out after threatening her daughter with no stories again EVER - and imagining the consequences for her education: "My mother banned me from all works of fiction at the age of two, Miss." AlistairSim confessed to finding herself declaring "if you don't put your tummy away, I'm going to eat it" while quint's gory mother used to threaten "that she would rip my arm off and bash me with the soggy end". AliEightMaidsAMilking recalled the time she was working at a hotel and received a phone call from a man declaring: "I'm just calling to say that if my children don't eat their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won't be coming to visit this summer." Followed by a whispered: "Thank you." And finally, Cory resorted to warning her nursing toddler: "If you don't get ready for bed now I'll start breastfeeding without you." Which would definitely not impress the parent and toddler group.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

MUMSNET BOOK CLUB - Get voting for Book Club's January book club choice - the theme is, appropriately, diaries. And put Tuesday 27 January in your own diary for the Book Club discussion.

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